Between leaving and knowing what's next

I was listening to a?podcast?yesterday about transitions, and the person being interviewed talked about a time when he veered away from his original career plan to pursue a new calling. His decision didn't make logical sense to him or anyone else, but he knew he needed to go in a different direction. The pieces came together to clear this new path, and he ended up having around 20 years of unexpected success.?

Near the end of those 20 years, the man felt compelled to make another change, but it meant leaving the career that had brought years of recognition and provided for his family. But this time, he didn't feel called to a new place. Instead, he had peace about leaving. Of course, this early career departure made little sense to those who only saw his outward success. But in faith, he stepped into the unknown, trusting that clarity would come.

I've spoken with many people who found themselves in a similar place. Sometimes we succeed in the area we've landed, and leaving is difficult. Other people may depend on us for their success or well-being. We might be living in a way that seems impossible if we were to leave our current situation. Could we afford the place we live, the trips we take, and the things we do if we change course??

Have you been in this tension between staying the course and moving on??I spent several years here. I knew I needed to go but I fought against it for years. I felt responsible for staying, taking care of others, and doing the things that had always led to success. But I felt stuck, unfulfilled, and misaligned with what I felt was most important.?

I ended up leaving without a clear plan. It didn't make logical sense to me or others, but I chose faith and trusted that clarity would come. I just expected it to come sooner. I'm still waiting and unclear about what's next, but my unplanned sabbatical had to end eventually.

Without a defined next step, I've tried to be intentional with where I put my energy and to be open to pathways I've not considered before. But I still need a good way to know what to say "yes" and "no" to as opportunities arise, so I have spent time clarifying what I value and want to contribute to others.?

As much as I want to figure out what to be when I grow up, I still need to help provide for my family. So that means doing work I can do today. For now, I'm doing independent consultant and advisory work, where I can focus on short-term HR projects. While this may not be the place for me long-term, I've found that I can still live out my values and contribute in meaningful ways, and I'm thankful for that most days.

I have learned that I provide for my family in more essential ways than finances. Like taking time to sit and talk with my kids about their day and to create with them, whether we're painting, building legos, or using our imaginations. I've learned to be more present with my husband when he shares about his day or when we talk about our faith, family, and future. These things sometimes felt secondary to me in the past, but this season has helped me see more clearly.

This waiting time is well-spent, even though it's not always fun. But I am excited to be able to look back and see how all things worked together for good. I can't see that now, so I keep striving to walk each day with trust and faith.

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