Between

The space we call 'between'

Recently I’ve thinking about the state of being ‘between’. It’s not surprising given that we are in a state of being between lockdown and emerging out of them to return to our more social lives. It’s hard to remember exactly what life was like before we had to think about masks and distancing. I live in a small village and we have missed the routines of the everyday. The good mornings to the people who would always meet on a morning dog walks, chatting outside the local shop where you would enquire on the welfare of families, and catch up ?"Did your daughter get that job?"; "How is your mum ?" – small pleasantries that turn out to be the building blocks of our lives. That show us that other people care and are interested in us. It’s amazing what a difference this makes.

I feel like I have missed important events in the lives of my neighbours and my local community which has been harder than I thought. ?The realisation as to just how much people have been through during this period and how much we have taken for granted has been tough. As I've talked to people its been clear that we all have this sense of 'between'. As a result I've been thinking about what this means, and how this affects us. ?I referred to my building blocks of resilience to tackle this

• Meaning making
• Connectedness
• A sense of mastery and control

.Making sense of 'between'

It has always struck me that between means both distance/ a space which separates but also togetherness.

"at, into, or across the space separating (two objects or regions).

indicating a connection or relationship involving two or more parties. "

Meaning making – What is it about 'between' that is associated with such negative feelings. Meeting people again as we pick up our routines has been a revelation. Everyone has a story or more than one of loss or change. We share these casually as we walk, or keep them to ourselves depending on the day. A neighbour had a daily walk and would often pick wild flowers for his wife. She died during lockdown and he now walks from his home to the cemetery to deliver the same wild flowers. ?Other routines are changed by absences, the people you no longer meet. ?The weight of these stories, shared and untold, can feel heavy and so 'between' can feel like a stuck space where nothing happens.

Connectedness - Between is also the present, our life now. If we focus too much on this sense of being between we can miss the now, being present with others, and being in the present. Being present is to be aware of ourselves and our feelings. Our connections and relationships to nature, to the physical spaces where we live and the place we have in our families, and communities. Between is therefore the story of our relationships – the connection between you and I. Something to be valued and built on, or rebuilt anew. ?

Mastery and Control - Between can also be a space for potential, just before a new stage of being comes to life. Between therefore requires a degree of faith. Faith in ourselves or others, our ability to get through, our ability to act and have impact. We might not know exactly where we are going, or what will happen, what our purpose in life is, but that is exactly what 'between' is for- a space to reflect, acknowledge and restore. ?This is especially important where changes have been unwanted or unthinkable for example, loss of a family member or our jobs or income. ??

World Mental Health Day

This World Mental Health Day it is important to acknowledge and reflect on the changes we have endured, and the lessons we have learned about what is important in our lives. The people and things that give us meaning and hope. I have talked before about the power of images and photos?in my journey and so I’ve included a favourite of mine to visualise 'between'. This makes me think of the absurdity of life and makes me laugh despite everything. Between might not be such a bad place after all. ?