To be a Betty Crocker or #GirlBoss?

When I graduated from architecture school LinkedIn existed, but it had definitely not taken off (neither had Facebook for that matter!). You found jobs from the AIA Job Boards and got career advice and inspiration from... honestly I had no idea. I had worked in Boston at an internship as part of my degree program but I'd moved back to San Francisco after graduation to look for a job with absolutely no professional network to speak of. I found a job within a few weeks but still had no real mentor. Now, while Linkedin was unknown to me, Barnes and Noble was. (Ironically, I'm not sure where any of those exist in San Francisco anymore, but I digress). There at the Barnes & Noble, I sought out career advice in the self-help or career goals section. I do not remember much about the book I purchased except it had some pithy title like "101 Tips for a Girl Boss" or "Wow Them in the Workplace". The format was in the form of one "hot tip" per page and the only one I remember is:

Don't Be the Betty Crocker of the Office.

The page long description talked about not expressing an interest in baking or bringing in cupcakes and cookies for your co-workers. A man would never do that and you'll be perceived as a matronly type rather than the girl boss you should be. In my early 20's naivete I took this advice to heart. I'd never been much of a baker so it wasn't much of a sacrifice anyways. I would never be the Betty Crocker of the office.

Fast forward a few years, I had moved into my own apartment and could barely make slice and bake cookies without burning them. (An oven thermometer to help tell the true temperature of my very old electric oven helped with that!) and I decided I would learn to bake. Baking is much easier than cooking, in my opinion, because it's very scientific, exact, and it has rules, however, you can add creative flair with flavors and decorations. It was much better suited to my architecture brain than lots of other hobbies. Through the tutelage of my parents (one an actual professional baker) and a patient baking co-worker who answered my random texts ("is fold different than beat?") I got pretty good at baking. At some point in this process, I also tossed out the #GirlBoss book of hot tips. Not only was I good at baking, I was excellent at my job and sharing some Brown Butter Pumpkin Spice Cookies wasn't going to change that. Neither would running half marathons, or being in a Scrabble Club, or being a 49ers fan, or taking Beyonce dance classes, or any number of hobbies I've enjoyed over the years. Yes, there is more pressure on women to be even more professional in a work setting, but we shouldn't have to worry that some "feminine" or "masculine" hobby or past time makes us less professional in the eyes of our co-workers. Neither should any number of qualities that we posses that may be considered too feminine or not feminine enough. How boring would the work place be if we knew nothing of our co-workers interests and non-career talents and if they never shared them with us.

Gooey Red Velvet Cookies - Your co-workers will love them!

I'll leave you with my own "hot tip" and a story.

Baked goods are a great way to make new friends at an office.

When I started at a large firm several years ago, I knew only a few of my 300+ co-workers. I would bake and invite my studio to come by my desk for cookies or muffins. One day, I saw a hand, seemingly unattached to a body, reach over the top of my cubicle to grab a cookie. A Gooey Red Velvet Cookie to be more precise. I peeked around the corner to see a young woman crouched down and sneaking away. "Excuse me, Hi, I'm Joey" and the guilty party turned around. "I'm Sue, Bill says he won't get me any more of your cookies so I had to come myself to steal one." "You don't need to steal them, just say hello." I made a good cookie-stealing friend that day. I may have never attended her wedding or be able to brunch with her and her little kids now even after we've both moved on to different jobs if not for those cookies. I'll gladly be the Betty Crocker of the office if it means making valuable friendships with my co-workers.