A Better Way To Live

If you’re anything like me, over a 16 hour period you charge from one important meeting to another. I’m up at 5.30am most days, training clients, calling into businesses, running my own business (although at times I think it’s running me) and doing my best to be a good husband and a fun but responsible (an emphasis on the word ‘responsible’) dad to my two lovely, little kids. There are not enough hours in the day, and I’ll be honest, for many years I’ve found it really hard to fit in all the elements of my life that are most important to me. 

It was only a few months ago that I found myself delivering a corporate fitness class in Hyde Park, before darting across West London to watch my son in his first school rugby match. In my attempt to win the ‘parent of the year’ award, the 1-hour journey to Richmond was fraught with a plethora of self-induced mental obstacles and a build-up of internal pressure. I was questioning my sanity, worrying about work and getting frustrated with the lack of structure to my life. I was victim to the high levels of stress I encourage my clients to avoid and upon arrival at the game (bang on the start whistle) I was close to a cardiac arrest. I’m not sure how ‘health professional’ I looked when I collapsed on the sideline. 

The game/tournament only lasted 15 minutes (45 minutes less than I anticipated), but my son’s year were victorious. Post-match celebrations were comparable to England winning the World Cup final against Australia in 2003, but it was great to see the boys embrace the true spirit of rugby and a joy seeing the little band of brothers enjoy the highs of winning and doing it together as a team.  

My journey back into London was much calmer than my outbound trip. I was rational again and reflective. To see my son’s little face light up when I arrived at his first game was all I needed to put things into perspective. I not only realised how important it was for him to have me there, but how much I needed to be there for myself. The whole experience left me thinking how easily I let myself get sucked into a world that pulls me away from my main priorities, such as my health and having fun and happy times with my friends and family. I consider myself incredibly fortunate because I love my work, however, I do need to remind myself every now and again that my existence is more than my career. There are other elements to my life that give it greater purpose. It’s very easy to be complacent and I’m sure, at one time of another, we have all experienced ways in which the world provides harsh and cruel ways of reminding us what we value most. Why is it we have to feel unwell before we appreciate our health? Or experience great, personal loss for us to truly value life itself and the people we love? I have neglected both at various times, but this is not about me sharing my guilt or insinuating that you should feel guilty for the way you think or behave. It’s about appealing to your intelligence and asking you to consider adjustments to your current way of living to make you feel more centred and calm. It’s about being mindful and reflective occasionally. Wellbeing isn’t about thrashing out a session at the gym or going on a two week fat loss plan. It’s about finding overall balance, mentally, physically and socially. I’m not dismissing the importance of financial stability, just merely trying to find perspective and with it share the notion that equilibrium is fundamental to our health, our happiness and our continued existence. 

In essence the rugby game was about 7 year olds throwing a ball around and rolling around in the mud. But it felt much more than that to me. It was about the connection between my son and I, and perhaps nature’s way of telling me that wellbeing is as much about relationships as it is my work, eating, drinking and sleeping well. Perhaps we should consider that there is a time and a place for everything in our lives. If something is important to you and beneficial to your wellbeing and the people around you, then surely your actions need no justification. 

There is one sure thing in life, we are all destined to die. I’ve met many people who use this fact to justify their ambivalence toward wellbeing and health information. It’s not that I pursue good health in the hope of immortality. I just believe wellness is about being able to fully enjoy the time we have on this planet. For me it’s about being able to stay strong and healthy for my family. It’s so I can fully enjoy this journey and have fun and adventure long after retirement. It’s an investment which runs alongside financial stability, and it’s about being as functional as possible throughout my entire life to try and avoid disabling, painful, and lengthy battles with illness and disease. There are better ways to die, and to live. 

Best wishes, 

Chris

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