Better than yesterday....

This time in our lives is scary and challenging for everyone.  Since mid-March, life has taken a drastic turn. It’s something I can't believe some mornings when I wake up. I have compassion for all the people that have dealt with this virus first-hand. As well, I want to give a shout out to all the front-line & essential workers; you are all amazing!  Thank you for everything you’ve been doing for all of us!

As for me, I stay home like I should. I leave the house for runs, dog walks, time outside with my kids and the once a week grocery run while maintaining social distance. 

At first, I was thinking wow, I'm going to have cleanest most organized house ever... I am going to get so much accomplished; just watch me!  In reality that hasn't been happening, but I think something bigger did. I feel like I made some positive changes to my own mindset. As my mind started wandering, I decided to dig deeper.  I can honestly say I’ve never really put much thought into what I want out of my day-to-day… meaning the BIG life picture. Prior to this time, I felt like most days I ran around like a crazy person, working, taking care of my girls, going to bed and doing it all over again.  There isn't anything wrong with that, however I never really stopped to think about much beyond that until my life was put on pause and I felt like it was the only choice I had. I started diving into books, the ones I’ve had for a long time, the motivational type that I’ve had good intentions to read for what seems like years.  

And now I get to the point to all of my rambling; by finally taking that pause, picking up these books and simply taking the time to stop and think made so many thoughts and ideas run through my head. I know I want more. I must admit for about the past five years, I have been just going though the motions and I haven't taken the time to step back and figure out what I want out of life; what goals do I want to accomplish and what makes me truly happy. Somewhere along the way, I feel like I lost sight of that and I decided to dig deep and start living a life I am proud of. 

I asked myself what drives me and what do I need to do to reach the next level of happiness?  I haven't asked myself questions like this before or at least not for a very long time. I feel like I have been given time right now and I want to come out of this as an improved version of me.  Is that possible?  Can I do it?  Yes, of course I can. You can do anything you set your mind to. After a couple weeks of thinking and planning I have picked 3 things I am going to focus on and incorporate into my life moving forward… and hopefully this is just the beginning.

Goal #1

I want to take a course. Something non-work related for the first time in oh... 12 years. I want to learn about on a topic that speaks to me. After attending countless zoom learning sessions & listening to podcasts, I’ve decided to take the course to be certified in Healthy Eating and Weight Loss.  Over the past five years, being active has been part of my everyday life.  It is non-negotiable that I get some kind of workout in everyday. I got thinking: what if I took that that up a notch?  It will be interesting to learn about how to fuel my body in the best possible way as well as my mind. As a single mom of two amazing girls, I want to be as healthy as I can.  I don’t want to miss a thing. I want to be strong so I can keep up with them, give myself the best chance to live a long life and be there for them when they grow up and have families of their own. I want to learn, be an example and an inspiration for the two people that matter most to me in this world.

Goal #2

I want to do volunteer work.  This has been on my mind for quite sometime.  I have time and I want to give back somehow. At Intact each year we have a team volunteer day, which is awesome!  As well we participate in various fund-raising events throughout the year. I decided I want to participate in something outside of work that speaks to me. Women in Insurance Cancer Crusade has been on my mind for several years now. I receive their newsletters, but I have never taken action. The WICC mission is to mobilize the insurance industry to focus on research, support and education. 100% of funds donated through WICC go directly towards cancer research. This is something I want to be part of, so I have already sent my interest to volunteer. Once events get underway again, I hope to lend a helping hand and be a part of this great organization. For the time being, I am participating in the Relay at Home to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society. Here is a link to donate to this worthwhile cause if you’re interested: https://support.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_odd_?px=6878582&pg=personal&fr_id=26560&s_locale=en_CA

Goal #3

I want to focus on self-care. Not the massages or physical self care (I take time for this already) but self care of my mind. I am thankful during these times that I have a job that allows me to work from home, although sometimes this has been tough for me. Prior to the pandemic, I was already working from home 50% of the time. Truth be told, it wasn’t my first choice.  I would rather be in the office but working from home certainly helped improve my work life balance. By simply taking the daily commute time away, I wasn’t rushing around after work to feed my kids and get them to sports (which is just one way working from home made life a bit less bumpy). 

However, the thought of being home more than three days in a row initially brought tears to my eyes (just ask my boss). I always thought I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to do it; something about being home alone all day made me think too much and bummed me out. This should have been a sign long ago that I needed to work on me. Now, like so many working from home 100% of the time had to be done. I am the first to admit I have good days and I struggle on others. The first few weeks at home were a bit bumpy. I tried to think of ways I could make this easier for me and reduce the number of “not so good days”. 

One little thing that has made a big impact was setting a schedule for things that matter to me. I now set aside time for reading, journaling, workouts, school time with my kids and time for me to do something that makes me happy. You can’t fill from an empty cup right? Part of my schedule is setting aside time every morning at 7 am to listen to a podcast or something I find inspiring. This is helping me be a better version of me – instead of just hitting snooze and staying in bed! So far I know I am a work in progress but who isn’t?  As long as I am better than the person I was yesterday, I have no choice but to be proud of myself.  

All this being said, I have made a commitment to myself that I won’t stop taking care of me when life goes back to the way it once was. I am going to give myself challenges because if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. I want to find some inner peace and happiness. I want to find true happiness and I just don't want to go through the motions anymore. I want to build a life I am proud of and that is something I will work on from the inside out.

By setting goals and putting them out there like this, I feel like I am on the right path. For the first time in a long time I am stepping out of the box and going completely out of my comfort zone. We all have something we want to do but for people like me, excuses were getting in the way. I feel like I should give thanks during this challenging time for putting my life into a different perspective.  Although some days are a struggle, I believe I will come out of this a better person.

It has been said that, “if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done”.  This is where a new chapter starts for me.