Better Than Any 360: Go Work With A Horse!!

All leaders need to spend some time with a horse. Forget 360 feedback, go spend sometime with a herd of horses and get some real feedback instantly!

That might sound crazy to you, but horses can teach a leader more in a day than most training programs do in months.

 Why?

 Let’s Talk About Horses

Horses are prey animals. To survive they need to be masters at picking up cues and reading the environment. They also live best in herds. They are regularly relating and communicating with each other, setting boundaries, dealing with various types of interactions, while paying remarkable attention to everything going on around them.

In a herd they are looking for a leader. When it's you and the horse in the round and you aren't congruent, the horse won't follow. They take the leadership role. They are masters of emotional intelligence. They have to be, because they need to know and respond when danger is coming. This makes them excellent judges of leadership.

When I put a leader in a Round Pen with a horse that horse becomes a instant mirror for how congruent that leader is at building a relationships and giving instructions. When I say congruent I mean the leader's inside state matches their external word and actions. Horses pick if there is alignment or mismatch immediately.

 Leading From The Inside Out

I learned this lesson first hand a few years back when I arrived at a workshop run by Koelle Simpson at a ranch in Phoenix. The workshop was called, Leading From the Inside Out and was focused on learning about leadership from horses.

Only problem: I was not a horse person. I loved watching them from afar, but I was not one to get too close.

However,  I found myself the first to volunteer to walk into the Round Pen with a horse and see what happened. The general instruction was simply to establish a relationship with the horse. Sounds easy enough, right?

To set the scene for you, we were sitting in bleachers like seats above this round pen. As I walked down the stairs to take the first turn, I began having second thoughts. Those doubts grew stronger as I got closer to the round pen door and heard the horse making quite a racket inside.

I panicked, but I wasn’t about to look scared or chicken out. It was time to muster up some courage and walk in that round pen.

So I did what any good leader would do under pressure: I put on a happy, confident face and walked right in.

Let me just say, that horse stayed as far away from me as possible. I tried looking calm and cool.  I tried moving towards the horse, following all of the recommended tips – eyes down, curved movements, non-aggressive posture, visualizing the horse letting me get closer.

I got nothing. The horse just stayed restless and very distant from me.

What’s Happening Inside?

Koelle started to coach me. She asked me, “What’s going on inside? What are you thinking and feeling? What is your intention in connecting with the horse?”

After some lame attempts to answer intelligently, I broke down, “Honestly, I am scared silly of this horse.” I was looking at Koelle, almost in tears, hating myself for jumping in to the Round Pen first.

“I have no idea what I am doing, and frankly, I am not even sure I’d be comfortable if that 2000lb horse got any closer.”

I noticed some muttering from others watching, but I was wrestling with my tears. Finally, I lost the battle and a few tears ran down my cheek. Suddenly, I felt the breath of the horse on the back of my neck.

I did not see that coming.

Unbeknownst to me, the horse had been moving closer the moment I started being honest, meaning congruent, about what was happening.

Over the next couple days, I learned just how amazing horses are as mirrors. The experience was so profound that I found myself signing up for Koelle’s Equus Coaching Program.

Now a few years later and building my own Equus coaching practice, I am sold on how horses so expertly demonstrate the importance of congruence as it relates to leadership. Just like horses, people know when we are being real and congruent. Great leadership comes when we are willing and able to lead from the inside out.

 What Does This Mean For Leaders?

 A leader needs to know what they are thinking, feeling and wanting. This can be challenging at times.

 In the Round Pen I knew I wanted to jump in and get the most out of the workshop. However, what I was not willing to acknowledge, or even let myself own, was that I was actually afraid of horses. I wanted to learn from the horse, but I didn’t want to look scared. Both were true. The horse figured that out in seconds, it took me a while longer!

 Often as a leader it is important to step up and take charge of a situation. That’s great. However, if at that same moment you are denying our own inner fear or doubts, you will not likely be as effective.

 It doesn’t mean you have to breakdown and cry. (Although there’s nothing wrong with showing a few tears). It does mean you need to acknowledge and deal with our underlying emotions or feelings.

 The Power of Acknowledging

 If I acknowledge, even to myself, that I’m a bit nervous around these powerful animals, take a breath, and allow that nervousness to simply be present, along with all of my excitement, I settle a bit, and clarity comes about what direction to go next. Plus, the horse doesn’t seem to mind at all.

 It’s the same way with people. When I acknowledge my feelings, be it fear, excitement, joy, sorrow, hurt, even too myself, leadership becomes easier.

 When a leader is acknowledging, and owning their thoughts, feelings and wants the fidelity of message becomes clearer because there is congruence between the external words being spoken and the internal emotional landscape. People feel that just like horses do, and people feel safer and are are loyal to congruent leaders.

Do you want to learn about and improve your own leadership? Come spend some time with me and a horse.

Susan Clarke is Coach and Consultant, she helps business leaders and their teams use the energy of conflict, rather than – avoid or defuse it – to get to creative, innovative, profitable business results. Check out her  TEDx Talk: Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It! On YouTube.  She would be happy to coach you and help you tap into your Leadership Mojo!