Better Technology is Not the Solution for Improving Virtual Connections. People Are.

Adrienne Shoch is a Holistic Innovationist and founder of 5 to 1 Consulting, LLC. She is a thought leader, leadership coach, trainer, and former Director of Thales University North America. She guides clients to navigate how the brain, body, and communication influence behavior, performance, and connection.

Adrienne is also a contributor to the new book, The Secret Sauce for Leading Transformational Change, for which I am lead author. Her essay, “Re-mastering the Art of Connection in a Virtual World: The Platform Is Not the Problem,” explores the void that leaders, facilitators, and their teams are experiencing in our increasingly virtual world, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic which forced individuals and organizations to rely on physically isolated virtual connections.

Adrienne contends that the solution to this virtual connection void is not to build increasingly sophisticated technology platforms, but rather for leaders and facilitators to focus on people and skills that foster connection, whether meetings are virtual or in-person.

Brain vs. Technology

According to Adrienne, when we do not intentionally end or begin meetings, we lose our ability to distinguish between them, they run together, and we get tired. So-called “Zoom fatigue” is made worse by our inability to intentionally reorient and transition from one event (or meeting) to another. Our brains, she writes, are “not designed to sustain uninterrupted focus without rest. Zoom fatigue is a primary disabler of connection.”

Adrienne writes that “when it comes to connection, you could say there is an ongoing battle between the brain and technology . . . Think of the brain as a continuous filter for safety and connection. Micro-images of headshots are not easily deciphered . . . more information is required for us to feel safe and connected.”

Without sufficient information, an information void exaggerated by technology, she says “the imagination leads to a powerful bias toward negativity, and a reality check is required.” Skills that allow us to pause, reorient, and transition are needed.

The following excerpts explore several of the strategies for connecting virtually taken from Adrienne’s full essay, which can be found in The Secret Sauce book.

Internal-Awareness

Awareness is fundamental to fostering connection and requires the ability to know yourself (internal awareness) and others (external awareness).

Internal awareness determines how effectively we connect with others. The same simple practices we utilize in face-to-face settings can enhance virtual meetings.

The first step in developing self-awareness involves cultivating your internal state and body awareness. Knowing your internal state requires self-inquiry and the answer to three questions:

1. Am I focused or scattered? Noticing the pace and chaos of thoughts gives insight into the quality of thinking.
2. What am I feeling (in one or two words)? Labeling feelings and emotions releases us from the experience and provides guidance as to what needs to shift and refocus.
3. What is my body doing? Body scanning provides access to physical awareness, energy level, and tension. Experiencing our body shape awakens us to what is happening with our internal state.

External Awareness

Similar to internal awareness, there are self-inquiry practices used to “tune-in” to our external environments. External awareness also requires self-inquiry and the answer to three questions:

1. What do I see around me? Observation provides the pause needed to shift attention from internal to external awareness.
2. What is happening around me? Perceiving what is happening is an interpretation. It requires assumptions and testing. With inadequate visual information, there is not enough information to know how people feel, what they are doing, etc.
3. How do I know what is happening with those around me? A reality check validates perceptions and provides insight as to the internal state of others as well as accessible engagement.

“Presencing” Check-In

A group self-inquiry practice (or “presencing check-in”) can accelerate the opportunity for connection with a three-step process at the beginning of virtual meetings:

1. Invite attendees to pause, breathe, and share a word or two in the chat to describe how they feel.
2. Remind them of the meeting’s purpose and thank them for their attention.
3. Invite them to let go of everything they brought with them that no longer serves them or a productive meeting.

Skillful Empathy

The battle between the brain and technology is neutralized with intentional listening and language. Listening through a lens of empathy cultivates external awareness. Adopting positive expressions, such as “good to see you” or “thanks for being here,” neutralizes the nervous system and enhances safety and listening, especially in difficult conversations.

Skillful empathy experienced in communication and awareness is foundational for connection. Intentional listening and language allow us to connect effectively.

• Listening intentionally AND being heard is synergy, serving connection at the deepest level.
• From the perspective of the brain, language can be a weapon and a threat. Our job is to ensure that the receiver of our words can hear them.
• Communicating with a weighted positivity bias creates high degrees of safety, mitigates unwarranted reactions, and can diminish negativity bias.
• Expressive connectors are essential to safety. Together with skillful empathy and self-awareness, we are led back to the path of connection. These tools restore agency and empowerment.

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The Secret Sauce for Leading Transformational Change, from lead author Ian Ziskin and with contributions from dozens of senior business leaders, HR leaders, experts, coaches, and consultants, shares insight, vivid stories, lessons learned, and best practices for what it takes to lead, survive, and thrive in periods of transformational change.

Learn more at https://www.transformationalchangebook.com.