Better men. Better Lives.

I have a ski buddy in Salt Lake City who is a man of many accomplishments.  He's given me permission to share an address he gave recently.  Any group whose mission is making better men is a group I will celebrate.

Phi Eta Sigma Freshman Honors Society induction, University of Utah, April 13, 2016.  Address by guest speaker, Michael Wims.

President Olivia Kosterlitz, Colby Judd, officers of Phi Eta Sigma and Dr. Harper.  Thank you for inviting me to address Phi Eta Sigma Freshmen Honors Society.  Most important, thank you to our freshmen Honors students who have earned the right to sit in this audience.  Let’s give them a round of applause.

It is an honor for me to be here as it has been almost 54 years since I first set foot on this campus as a freshman.

I had just graduated from high school in Texas and found my way to SLC for the summer in order to get a job and make some money prior to starting college that September.  I really didn’t know much about going to college, other than I had plans to go to the University of North Texas.  Money was tight and in-state tuition rates were surprisingly inexpensive in Texas.  After arriving in Salt Lake, it dawned on me that I could get a head start by going to summer school.  I looked at the summer catalog at the U and found one course that looked interesting.  When I came to campus to register I was sent to a counselor.  He said that the course I wanted to take was a graduate level course.  I said, “That’s OK, I graduated from high school last week.”

 It was a three hour course. He let me take it, so I was the only person in the class who didn’t have a baccalaureate degree!  In fact, I didn’t have any college at all.   I think the Professor was generous as I was given a B in my first college course.  What’s the point of this reminiscence? 

[Item 1] Bite off more than you think you are capable of doing.  You will amaze yourself by accomplishing things you thought you could never do.

My path in life brought me to America, where I became a citizen, I served in our armed forces – in the Air Force - for 27 years total of which 22 were on active duty.   I then became an Assistant Attorney General here in Utah. For many years, I prosecuted violent criminals and corrupt public officials.  I consider both of those positions:  in the military and as a prosecutor, as being on the front lines of civilization and a lifetime spent trying to make our world a better and safer place to live.

You are here at this university because you want to better the world and succeed in life.   You will succeed in life if you do make this a better world. 

I want to share with you some observations I have made along the way and it matters not whether you ever serve a day in the military, nor does it matter what is your gender, your ethnicity, your religion or your social status.

You never know where your path will lead you.  You must prepare now for any eventuality.  When I was a student, I never thought I would be invited to have dinner at an ambassador’s private residence, or dine at the White House, or represent the United States at an international conference overseas.  Each of those events have happened to me. You never know where your path will lead. 

Here are some lessons I’ve learned starting with when I was in college:

On campus I was involved:  I was in the Air Force ROTC; I was on the University’s debate team; I joined a fraternity and participated in the fraternity’s programming, and I became a class senator in the student government.  We also had Young Republicans and Young Democrats on campus.  I joined one and became President of that club.  I won’t mention which one because I fear I will then alienate a portion of my audience, but I will mention that we won best club in the state and that same year we were honored with the award for best club in the nation. 

DO become involved in campus groups and in the community.  What you do here, during you time here at the U, will build your resume.  Your future employers want to know more than whether you are just a person who makes good grades.  They also will want to know what you have achieved.  You don’t need to be an officer or have a title in an organization in order to do something.  Get involved!  Future employers want more than a list of organizations and titles of offices you have held.  They want to know what have you achieved!

In each of the campus groups in which I participated, I did more than just join.  I organized what I wanted to accomplish and then structured a plan to accomplish that goal.  On the debate team, I realized that there were a lot of people out there who were smarter than me.  I couldn’t be eloquent and instantly create a memorable phrase to make a point.  I had to prepare.  Debates are a competition and I realized that if I wanted to win debates, I had to out-prepare and out-work my opponents.  I knew, that how much preparation I put into a subject is something over which I had control.  That particular trait, of being fully prepared, of thinking through each potential argument and having a sound-response to anything my opponent could throw at me, taught me a lesson that served me well when I became a trial lawyer.

[Item 2] Devote time to preparation, and you will likely succeed at what you are doing.

In the summer of my junior year, I was sent to Keesler AFB, MS, for field training in Air Force ROTC.  It isn’t nearly as intense as Army Ranger Training or Navy SEAL training, but it was physically and mentally rigorous.  Our rooms had to be meticulously clean.  The bed had to be made with a military tuck in each corner and the pillow carefully centered with the head-board.  Uniform shirts were hung 1” apart all facing in the same direction and socks rolled uniformly and aligned in your drawer so that the fold on top all smiled in the same direction. The Instructors purposefully found small mistakes and you were penalized for each perceived failure.  No matter how much you tried, some egregious error would be found. They were obviously finding out if we could handle criticism and work under pressure.  They were weeding out those who didn’t have the strength of character or the tenacity to finish the course.  It was a hot, humid and miserable August day in Mississippi when we were trucked for miles to a Mississippi swamp for a field exercise.  We were broken into groups of five, then given one compass for the group and a canteen of water for each person.  We were told that camp was five miles away at a reading of 121 degrees.  The instructors and the trucks then left.  The swamp was so thick that you couldn’t take a compass reading on a tree or a vine.  You had to send a member of the team out and take a reading on that person before he began to disappear in the steamy mist that was rising as the afternoon got hotter.  We waded our way through the swamp, occasionally seeing snakes and other creatures watching us.  We were probably progressing about one mile per hour, maybe a little less.  At one point, when we figured we were about two miles from camp, the largest and heaviest fellow in our group had the misfortune to bump into a hive of wild bees that none of us had seen. He was seriously stung multiple times and we had to carry him the rest of the way.  Each of us were much smaller than he was, but we all pitched in and we each carried a portion of the weight.  We successfully got our teammate back to camp, where he was rushed to the hospital. 

[Item 3] As you go through life, trying to succeed, you need to find someone to pitch in and help carry the load. 

In the early 1960s, racial tensions were at a high in America.  There were freedom marches.  There were also race riots and looting in Detroit, Los Angeles and other American cities.  Segregation was still alive in many places.  However, assuming that “they” are all alike was a concept that was waning.  Nevertheless, it was still prevalent to assume that all southerners were ignorant bigots and segregationists.  In those day many fraternities and sororities tended to be mostly white throughout the nation.  When I joined a fraternity, there in Texas, a southern state, I choose one that was founded in the 19th century based on the extraordinary concept that the fraternity should accept gentlemen of quality regardless of race or religion.  That view was very unpopular at the time, even in New York, but nevertheless, it survived.  I joined my fraternity as a junior and was President of the chapter as a senior.  I learned that shortly after I left, the university got a new Assistant Dean of Students, who was a young African-American.  The new dean immediately called the national HQ of every fraternity and sorority on campus to announce that during his tenure, he was going to address the problem of “lily-white fraternities.”  The national Executive Director of my fraternity called my successor, Cecil Harold, the Chapter President of our fraternity at North Texas and explained about the phone call.  Cecil said he’d go over and talk to the Assistant Dean to find out what we could do to get with the new program.  Cecil is African-American and was President of our fraternity at our chapter -- in the south -- in the 60s.  The Dean had just assumed that all fraternities were alike.  Cecil told me that he enjoyed pointing out to the Dean that bigotry occurs when one assumes we are all alike without knowing our individual traits and achievements. 

[Item 4] Measure people by their achievements and by their hearts, regardless of any preconceived notions.  Respect everyone and do not assume we or “they” are all alike.

One of the principles and requirements within the legal profession is civility, especially to one’s opposing counsel in court.  We are hired to present our client’s position, and in doing so there’s no reason to be rude to the opposing attorney. 

I’ve known lawyers who have a reputation as being tough on opposing counsel.  Some have tended to bully less-experienced counsel.   Early on, when I was an inexperienced trial lawyer, I had vowed not to respond to any perceived slight, but to be stoic, courteous and simply out-nice those that might be rude to me.  It takes self-control to not rise at any insults, but I learned to control my emotions.  Try smiling when you are being insulted; it gets interesting results.  I came to a realization that anger is an inappropriate emotion.  No good decision will be made when one is angry.  Life is too short to carry a grudge or even get angry to begin with.  Anger will consume the person who entertains it.

[Item 5] Approach problems with intellect and control of your emotions.  Vow to never get angry.

There will come a time when you fail and it might be some of the darkest days you face. There will be a time when you realize that all of your efforts are in vain.  Whatever it is you want to happen won’t come to pass no matter how hard you try.   You will fail more than once.  It may not even be your fault.  But do not dwell on failure.  Learn from it.  Another word for failure is “experience.”  Failure is a significant and emotional learning experience.  Success also creates experience, but we don’t learn as much from successes as we do from our failures. 

[Item 6] Failure is a learning experience.  Learn from it and get over it.  Bounce forward with renewed hope and drive.  Never give up.

In order to be successful you must know when you have achieved success.  So what is success and how do you measure success?

 Humans are social creatures.  We thrive on being around and with others.  In fact, solitary confinement, which deprives people of the ability to communicate with others, is one of the more severe forms of punishment.

What is the measure of success?  Is it whoever accumulates the most money wins?  That may be a measurable standard; but money, in and of itself, is only a means to an end.   In fact, studies of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs have shown that a lack of money results in dissatisfaction, but once one has a sufficient amount of money, beyond that, more money is not much of a motivator.  Prestige and accomplishments and recognition are far more powerful motivators than money.  So, it is true that money cannot buy happiness.  If “The person who has the most money” – if that were the measure of success, it fails to measure that person’s impact on the world.

Follow my reasoning here:  Since we are social creatures, success cannot and must not be measured in isolation from one’s impact on other human-beings.  Success is better measured by what we do to better ourselves, better our family, better our community and better others.  THOSE are the actions that make the world a better place.

It isn’t what you GET in life that is the measure of success; it is what you GIVE that is the objective.  One’s objective should be the opportunity for greater accomplishment and greater service.  That is what makes our world a better place.

[Item 7] The measure of your success isn’t what you get, but what you give.

In addition to these 7 principles, let me briefly run through a few other things I’ve learned along the way.  These are thing I wish somebody had told me when I was a freshman.

Think about each of these:

If you don’t have a goal, you will never get there.

There are two types of people:  long term thinkers and those who have no plan.

A leader leads by example whether the leader intends to or not.

Persuasion is not accomplished by raising your voice and speaker faster.  Most people who raise their voices and speak faster simply want to listen to themselves say things.

--and a corollary of that thought:

Some people are hard of listening.

Do not assume another person has evil motives or is stupid just because they disagree with you.

--and a corollary of that:

One can disagree without being disagreeable.

Listen carefully to this one:  Grades and postings on Facebook are indelible.  They last forever.

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.

Don’t burn your bridges before you cross them.  Don’t burn your bridges after you cross them, either.  You never know when someone might be in a position to benefit you in the future.

Rational self-interest is a virtue, not an evil.  It leads to self-improvement.

And finally:

We each have a finite number of days on our planet.  Make each one of yours count.

You are here to begin your journey to make the world a better place.  It will not be easy.

But if you:

[1] Take risks by biting off more than you think you are capable of doing. 

[2] Devote time to preparing for whatever you do.

[3] Find someone to help you through life. 

[4] Respect everyone and remain polite to those who are not.

[5] Abolish anger.

[6] Know that life is not fair and you will fail often but never give up.

And

[7] Count your successes by what you give, not what you get.

If you do these things, the world will be a better place because of you.

Welcome to Phi Eta Sigma and

GO UTES !