Betrayal: The Silent Wound

In Arduis Fidelis - Faithful through adversity

It's been over two decades since I hung up my uniform, medically discharged from the British Army where I served as an advanced field trauma medic. Yet the lessons learned in service continue to shape my life, especially in times of adversity.

Recently, I experienced a betrayal within my business that brought me right back to those days in uniform. The shock, the pain, the disbelief - it all felt eerily familiar. While the battlefield has changed from dusty warzones to sleek boardrooms, the impact of betrayal remains just as devastating.

The bonds formed in military service are uniquely intense, forged through shared experiences of extreme stress and mutual dependence. While strong relationships certainly exist in civilian life, the military environment often accelerates and deepens these connections in ways that can be hard to fully grasp from the outside.

In the armed forces, your colleagues aren't just co-workers - they become an extended family. You rely on each other not just for job performance, but for survival itself. This creates a level of trust and interdependence that goes beyond what most people experience in their daily lives.

However, the core elements of trust, loyalty, and the pain of betrayal are universal human experiences. Whether in a military unit, a close-knit business team, or a group of lifelong friends, a breach of that trust can be devastating. The lessons learned from military camaraderie - the importance of reliability, mutual support, and standing together through adversity - are valuable in all walks of life.

Our old Corps motto, "In Arduis Fidelis" - faithful through adversity - echoes in my mind now more than ever. Those words aren't just a military maxim; they're a code I've lived by throughout my adult life, both military and civilian, in my business dealings, in my friendships. And when you've upheld that code, stood by someone through thick and thin in the business world, betrayal cuts even deeper.

It's like being on a long-term business project. You've worked late nights, weathered financial storms, shared the stress of deadlines, and celebrated small victories together. You've been there when the company was at its lowest, helped turn things around, and kept moving forward as a team. You've remained faithful through every adversity the market has thrown your way.

Then, in an instant, they turn on a sixpence.

Someone you've not just worked with, but someone you've opened up to, let your guard down to, trusted suddenly becomes an adversary. It's not just unexpected; it's unfathomable. The metaphorical knife in your back feels as real and as painful as any wound I treated in the field. And in some ways, it's worse. Because with a physical injury, you can see it, treat it, understand it. But this? This defies logic. It goes against everything you've built together, every principle of trust and loyalty you've established in your company culture.

The pain is excruciating. It's like taking a hit to your company's foundation - it might not crumble immediately, but the impact shakes everything you've built. You're left gasping, trying to make sense of what just happened. How could someone you trusted so implicitly, someone you've supported through every business challenge, turn on you so suddenly?

The betrayal doesn't just wound you; it shakes your faith in the very principles you've built your business on. You start to question everything.

Was your trust misplaced?

Were you naive to believe in the strength of your professional relationships?

It's like realizing the market you've been operating in isn't as stable as you thought.

But here's the thing...

But here's the thing about being faithful through adversity - it's not just about being faithful to others. It's about being faithful to yourself, to your values, to what you know is right in business and in life.

In the army, we learned that even when everything goes sideways, we stick to our training. We fall back on what we know. So now, in the face of a betrayal, I find myself doing the same. Acknowledge the pain, treat the wound - invisible though it may be - and keep moving forward.

Because that's what we do. We endure. We adapt. We overcome.

This betrayal, as deep and as painful as it is, doesn't negate the strength and integrity shown throughout all your business dealings. If anything, it highlights it even more.

"In Arduis Fidelis" isn't just about being faithful when it's easy. It's about maintaining that faith when it's hard, when every instinct is screaming at you to give up, to become as cynical and mistrustful as the business world can sometimes be.

So yes, the wound is deep. It hurts like hell. But I've been through adversity before, both in the military and in business, and I'll get through this too. Because that's who I am. That's what I do. Faithful through adversity - not just to others, but to myself, to my principles, to the entrepreneur and leader I am and shall remain.

Conclusion

As the Managing Director of My TrueNORTH Limited, I've found that the lessons learned from overcoming betrayal have profound applications in the business world. In mentoring and consulting with conscientious business leaders, I often draw upon these experiences to help them navigate the choppy waters of trust and betrayal in their own ventures. The resilience and faithfulness forged in military service become powerful tools in helping leaders scale their businesses sustainably.

The principles of "In Arduis Fidelis" translate remarkably well to the business world. When faced with challenges such as market downturns, difficult clients, or internal conflicts, the same steadfast commitment to values and integrity that saw us through military adversity can guide business leaders. By remaining faithful to your principles and vision, even in the face of setbacks or betrayals, you create a foundation of trust and resilience that can help your business weather any storm.

And, by sharing these experiences of betrayal and recovery, we create a community of support for those facing similar challenges. Whether in the military, business, or personal life, the pain of betrayal is universal. But so too is the potential for growth and renewal. By opening up about our own journeys, we not only heal ourselves but also provide a beacon of hope for others navigating their own paths through adversity. This shared experience becomes a powerful tool in our #ADDAZERO methodology, helping leaders understand that they're not alone in facing these challenges and that there is a way forward.