Betrayal | The Kiss of Judas

By Dr. Stephen R. Phinney

Have you ever been kissed by a Judas? You know, that hug or kiss from a known member of your intimate circle that oozes evidence of their true feelings of despising. 

Among ministers of the Gospel, this act is as common as the act of Judas betraying Jesus. Worse yet is the pretentious expression of fake intimacy from a loved one. The Modern Hebrew word for betrayal is bagad, (?????????), to expose danger by treacherously giving information to an enemy – for the strict purpose of destroying a person out of anger. Therefore, this article is a well-placed study following our recent popularized study “You’ve Got Hate Mail.” 

Gossip and betrayal are wedded partners that reveal, disclose, divulge, tell, give away, leak, unmask, expose, bring out into the open, spill, tell a secret and sell a family member to the enemy. This act requires an individual who is disloyal to, be unfaithful to, double-cross, break faith with, inform on/against, give away, denounce, sell out, stab in the back, break one's promise to, and has hidden hatred toward another.

Betrayal is the action that follows gossip. It is one thing to gossip about an individual but quite another to take an act of vengeance to cement the gossip in its mainstay. Betrayal is the opposite of what the indwelling Life of Jesus prefers to do through the true believer. Here we find the mandate of preference:

 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY, says the Lord. BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  (Romans 12:17-21)

Imagine for a moment of how a person of betrayal would express the above verses.

Do unto others as they would do to you – even if it means to pay back evil for evil done to you. Only respect those who have earned it. Be at peace with those who express peace to you but as for those who lack peace, betray them through chosen forms of revenge. Express anger in your actions by letting them know that you are angry.  After all, vengeance is in the hands of the one who has been hurt. Withhold your loyalty, support, care-giving and any other form of kindness. Always remembering that doing nothing leaves the other with the impression that they are right in what they have done to you.

From the Pictorial Hebrew, we find the word Betrayal (ree-mah), which literally translates out as; what comes from the man of chaos. The danger being revealed here is a man who comes from chaos (mem) translates as; a man who lives in destruction. Stay with me on this. A man of destruction is a man of kleemah, dishonor – which means in pictorial Hebrew, what comes from all chaos. In Hebrew law and customs, we find that a man of kleemah is a man of disobedience (marah) – what comes out of bitterness. A man of marah is one who is suffering the continuance of distress (tsar) -  a hooked man. The hooked man is classified in the Hebrew as a donkey (chamor) – the angry man. It is out of this pictorial Hebrew deduction that the Modern Hebrew word bagad is derived.

With that said, while keeping the Hebrew definitions of a betrayer, we can now review the problematic symptoms of betrayal.

 ONE | Refuses to Care for Family

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1Timothy 5:8)

One of the first actions of betrayal, as seen with Judas toward Jesus, is a refusal to provide for the needs of their family – spiritual and natural. The consequence of such betrayal was a covert confession of denying the faith of their fathers. The Pictorial Hebrew word for father is av – strength or leader of the house. This was Judas’s great crime against Jesus – what he did unto Jesus, he did unto Jesus’s Father. The ramification of such destruction was the Father treating Judas as worse than an unbeliever. I hope you are catching the word worse. Most of us, unless you are following the new Millennial Jesus, know that an unbeliever suffers horrid consequences – that of eternal damnation, unless they become an indwelt believer. So, what exactly does it look like to be treated worse than an unbeliever? Hum-m, you might want to review the Judas story.

TWO | Filled with Quarrels and Conflict

What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. (James 4:1-2)

Looking through the Pictorial Hebrew once again, the word quarrel (madon) is – overwhelming judgment. The secondary word, quarrelsome, is finding contentment in strife. Since the Hebrew word for judge (dan) means the door to life, this violation leaves us with the conclusion that the person of betrayal is saying, I am the overwhelming door to life and I find contentment in strife. Undoubtedly confessing that they are rising above the Throne of God (Judge) to rail judgment upon their victim. We call that playing God.

A person of betrayal is not only content with fighting, they are passionate about it. They desire immediate justice, rise above God’s Throne to mandate payment and deliver the sentence to their judgement even if they must commit relational or physical murder to do it. People of betrayal are dangerous people. Typically, they will stop at nothing to deliver their wrath. 

THREE | Vengeance is Theirs

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY, says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

Vengeance is classically viewed as harsh acts that affect the human body, such as murder. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We learn in the Pictorial Hebrew that the word vengeance (nahkam) is the action that follows chaos. Hebrew customs reveal that vengeance is to reveal, disclose, divulge, tell, give away, leak, unmask, expose, bring out into the open, spill, kiss, tell a secret and sell a family member to the enemy.  Judas’s act of the “kiss of death” is believed by the Hebrew people to be the worse form of vengeance. The double-edged sword of revealing betrayal through the act of intimacy, the kiss, leaves them with the reality that one of their own has been sold to the enemy. Typically, death follows for the betrayer and the victim.  Speaking from an eternal perspective, betrayal commits a greater sin – that of stealing from God’s prerogative of leaving room for the wrath of God. This act has far greater consequences than the human violation of bringing destruction on an innocent (or guilty) victim. When Jesus said judge not brethren least you be judged in like fashion is a serious consequence most betrayers don’t give a second thought. Why? Anger blinds a man from his own actions and the consequences that come with their judgment and vengeance. It is humanly impossible to counsel, disciple or guide an angry man. Their stupidity is in their own judgements.

FOUR | They Demand Loyalty to Self Over Loyalty to Christ 

For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A MAN'S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. (Matthew 10:35-37)

The root issue behind those who betray is demanding loyalty from others regarding their issues and concerns – at the price of violating the loyalty mandates put upon believers by Jesus. They harshly expect you to side with them on their self-proclaimed hurt and pain. If the victim sides with Christ and His stated guidelines, the betrayer feels betrayed, resulting in judgment and selling the victim over to the enemy. This was the case with Judas, in his feelings of isolation, loneliness and despair. He decided to turn on his spiritual Father and sell Him to the enemy. I am certain that Judas didn’t count his cost. You know, that elephant sitting on his chest as he was trying to find rest for his guilty soul. Oppression follows deceit. Demonic harassment follows oppression. Death follows demonic harassment – in relationships and in more times than we want to admit, physical death. In Judas’s case, suicide. 

FIVE | They Save Their Anger for a Rainy Day   

BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

A betrayer is defiled by their own actions. The Pictorial Hebrew word for defiled (tamay) means surrounded by chaos strongly. The reality is, a defiled person feels unloved, uncared for, unheard and defiled by their victims. Truth is, their perception of truth is tamayed – spoken out of chaos. Their perspective is the other person is the villain (mera). The problem is, mera is bitter evil from evil. And what IS in evil cannot SEE evil. Their own bubble of self-rule deceives them from seeing Truth and honorable righteousness. Thus, anything that has to do with honor is masked by their chaotic excuses. They refuse to resolve their issues Biblically before the sun sets. Chaotic people don’t realize that if they violate Ephesians 4: 26-27, they are giving the father of chaos, the devil, opportunity to fulfill their hidden desire – destroy the victim. Then again, maybe they do.

SIX | Betrayer Cannot Hear the Holy Spirit

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. (John 14:26)

How is it that self-proclaimed “indwelt Christians” display actions and doctrines that are opposite of our Holy Scriptures and call them “the Lord said?” There are only two forms of doctrines in eternity – the doctrines of the Living God and doctrines of demons. To put it bluntly, any human (saved or unsaved) that self-asserts doctrines of demons as the will of the Living God, are not hearing the voice of God. Worse yet, they are committing a great blasphemy. Betrayers cannot hear God. When, not if, betrayal goes from a person to a culture, be assured the second coming of Christ is not far behind. He simply will not excuse a people who puts Satan’s works (demonic doctrines) in the mouth of the Everlasting God. This act of chaos will not go unseen by Jesus.

SEVEN | Betrayers Dishonor Authority

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. (Ephesians 6:1-8)

The method of madness that drives a healthy person into the chaos of betrayal is simple. It classically starts with the child’s attitude toward their parents. When dishonor is shown toward parents, dishonor is activated toward the child by the Lord. It sets off a world of chaos for the child that ultimately cannot be overpowered by the child’s hatred. It moves itself into civil dishonor and ends with a fate of being trapped by demonic doctrines, where the child must make up their own kind of Jesus to support their violation of dishonoring their parents, and ultimately other authorities. This firmly puts the child in a position of refuting guidance from the church, spiritual fathers and typically every form of authority present in their world. The result is, they become unteachable – unless of course they teach themselves through detached “listening” from those who cannot tell them what to do. Anything else is deemed spiritual abuse.

EIGHT | Betrayer’s Foundation | An Eye for an Eye

You have heard that it was said, AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH. But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42)

The above verses are impossible for a betrayer to follow – outright impossible. They tend to translate this passage in this way:

You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, this is good doctrine - resist an evil person; and whoever slaps you on your right cheek, refuse them the other – fight back. If anyone wants to sue you and take what belongs to you, do NOT let them. Whoever forces you to go one mile, detach yourselves from them, counter-sue them and go about your own way. Do not give to everyone who asks of you, and turn away from those who want to use you.

In the western world, this is one of the most violated mandates in the Word – literally coming from the mouth of Jesus. The western world is based on lawsuits and human rights. People claim rights that Christ never gave them, turning Jesus into a democrat and deceiving others into handing out doctrines that match this made up Jesus. All betrayers, not some, form their own type of government (rules of engagement) that support their hatred and defiance against the rules of engagement mandated by Christ – all based on “my Jesus said.” Who is this new Jesus that touts doctrines that are opposite of the Jesus in the Holy Scriptures?

I cannot put the full responsibility on the betrayers. I know that each person of chaos is drug into Satan’s world of doctrines and methodologies that match his illusion of self-rule. People teaching themselves from emptiness - the blind leading the blind. Students of betrayal are habitually addicted to forcing their illogical self-rules of homegrown religion onto their victims.

My Conclusion | Satan is the father of betrayers. If the person is a self-proclaimed indwelt Christian, I say get back under the real Jesus – soon!

Good News for the Victims 

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones. So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. (Genesis 50:20-21)

No matter what the devil does to you, or what betrayers he uses to assist him, God is in complete control of these people of chaos. I know that it is hard to believe that He preserves many people in and through the actions of the friends of Judas, but He does. Acts of betrayal promptly stimulates fear, fear that the betrayer can sell you to the enemy. (See Dr. Fowler & my article: "Fear - Enemy of the Indwelling") Know this! If you are indwelt by the Life of Christ, you have been bought by a price and Jesus will not sell you back. That means, the worst that a person of betrayal can do to you is help you work out your salvation. 

A Couple of Key Things to Do

If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. (Matthew 18:15-20)

Gossip and betrayal is a grievous sin. The first mandate in this passage is “if,” which means the confronter must have testimony and proof by a minimum of two witnesses that heard/saw the sin being committed.  Secondly, this confrontation must be done in private. 

Because of the term “brother” is being used, it would be important to note that the offender is a believer in Christ, and that the offense being committed is against his or her fellow indwelt Christian. The obvious grey area in this link is determining if they are a true indwelt believer. Therefore, if you have heard a confession, or testimony, of their indwelling, you are to assume this person is a brother or sister in Christ. If this is a known unbeliever, it is my position that there is no mandate requiring such a meeting. The Lord uses the unsaved, and their measurements of persecution, to work out the salvation of the indwelt believer. This passage is focused on the Body of Christ. 

The reason meeting with another Body member in Christ is so important is that we as brothers and sister are required to handle such matters with a Spirit of gentleness. This kind of a meeting is more of an appealing process with gentle reproofs. Sadly, these meetings are often confrontive and purposed to degrade and mistreat the brother who sinned – much like a witch’s trial. Our goal is to restore a brother through repentance.

The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. (2Timothy 2:24-26)

At this juncture, we must remember how tenderly our beloved Master (Jesus) speaks of, and to, His Bridal members!  In meetings like this, we must release the Spirit from within to do the reconciliation (Matthew 18:6). If there is any other motive or if “self” is diligently at work, this meeting will cause the offender and the confronter to stumble, giving the devil an opportunity to take full control of the meeting. Neither the offender or the confronter should be despised in this process (Matthew 18:10).  Keep in mind that each has an angel assigned from the Father, the Spirit of Jesus present and any offense in the meeting is a direct offense against Him. Any offense against Jesus is also an offense against the Father. The goal here is NOT to stop the gossiper/betrayer. The goal is to restore a brother unto the Father to save them from their own consequences and the church.

Assuming the obvious, when we have sinned against our brother, we must seek him out and be reconciled with him. But when our brother has sinned against us, we are to make three efforts before we give him over to the title of an unbeliever (Matthew 18:17). 

Note: It is impossible to be reconciled with an unbeliever – someone who does not have the indwelling Life of Jesus living within them. Impossible! Reconciliation is the process of becoming one in the perfect bond of unity provided by the Spirit for the Body of Christ. Unbelievers cannot be reconciled unless they are reconciled unto Christ by being translated into the Kingdom of Light (domain of reconciliation), salvation. 

For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? (Romans 11:15)

Unbelievers cannot find life from death. Life can only be found in life. To place the seal of reconciliation in human relationships, one must be BORN INTO the ministry of reconciliation.

Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. (2Corinthians 5:18-19)

All this to say, our goal is NOT to put an end to the horrid gossip and betrayal coming from the offender but rather to restore such a one back to the governing guidelines and Life of Christ. If this is the goal for the confronter, Jesus commits Himself to assign the Spirit (His presence) to the meeting – “for where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst” (Matthew 18:20).  The key here is in My name. The Greek meaning for “name” in this passage is, onoma, which means authority & living character. Jesus will NEVER assign His presence (Holy Spirit) to partake in any gathering that is governed under the self-proclaimed authority of man or Satan. He will only inhabit the presence of believers who are gently guided by the Holy Spirit from within. The oddity presented to us here is, it’s assumed that each member of this meeting houses the Holy Spirit from within – they’re all born-again. What’s the big deal regarding Jesus communicating the above statement? Simple. Having the Holy Spirit living inside a believer does not guarantee that the believer will release the Spirit during conflict – many don’t under these circumstances. Having a special assignment by Jesus to make known His external presence by way of the Spirit, adds the Biblical confirmation of the Spirit bearing witness with the Spirit, that is supposedly living within the Body members present in the meeting. This is how the discernment process is activated to determine if the offender is as a Gentile or tax-gatherer. (Matthew 18:17) 

This is the active process of how Jesus ushering His people back into unison in the supernatural world, so that their decisions, prayers and relationships are Divinely unified with the mind of Christ.

For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ. (1Corinthians 2:16)

It takes an experienced indwelt Christian, mostly grown up and matured in Christ, to be trusted in releasing the Life of Christ in a meeting like this. They need to be a people accustomed to eating the strong meat of the Gospel.  Such maturity grants them the privilege of unveiling the secret things of God, the mysteries of the Gospel. 

Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God's wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory… (1Corinthians 2:6-8)

Let’s face it. There are three types of people.  There is the Spiritual man, one who’s life is accustomed to releasing the Spirit from the dwelling-place of the Spirit of God. Secondly, the indwelt Christian who blocks the mysteries of God, the hidden wisdom of God from within, and functions on the energy of the flesh, self-life or mind of man. And finally, there is the natural man (unsaved), possessing merely the intellect and conscience of ordinary humanity. A Matthew 18 meeting requires the first. If there is doubt as to the assurance of such, do NOT conduct this meeting.

Intention and motivation is everything in this setting. If the motivation is pure and focused on the unification of restoring a believer back unto Christ – you are good to go. If the intention is to remove the gossip, gossiper or one of betrayal – stop now. Those who know Christ intimately should not be content with the mere intellectual rudiments of the Gospel, but focusing instead on releasing the Spirit to demonstrate the true and honorable mysteries of the deeper things of the Gospel. This is NOT accomplished in clever, well-prepared confrontations, but by focusing on revealing the great mysteries of reconciliation. 

Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.  (Matthew 18:18-20)

What I am about to reveal to you is one of those great mysteries. Keep in mind that we are still in the passage of confronting a brother. Also keep in mind that there are more than two in this meeting. We have the following present; the offender, the confronter, personally assigned angels (Acts 27:23) of each, the Spirit living within each and the presence of Christ Himself. That is a crowd of witnesses.  Here we see the importance of knowing those in attendance.   If the confronter binds (deo), puts another in the bonds of chains, that is what is bound in Heaven. If the confronter loosens (luo), cuts off the chains, the bonds will be loosed in Heaven. These words from Jesus are not suggestive in nature, they are present-tense active. Jesus goes on to tell us that an agreement between the offender and confronter is an eternal binding in Heaven that activates an action of the Father – that of, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in Heaven. This requires the contracting agent of Jesus being present in the meeting - for where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. The seriousness of this passage is overlooked by most believers. This is not an Old Testament legalistic mandate, it is a New Testament guide to unlock the chains binding offenders. Practically put, it is the God ordained process of breaking the chains that bind us. I call them the golden keys of deliverance for Body Life conflicts. 

If you read on, you will discover the curiosity of Peter.

Then Peter came and said to Him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus *said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

Here’s the clincher. Imagine the disciples listening to Jesus lay out the golden keys of deliverance for fellow Body members. Embracing what Jesus said would be impossible for the disciples to comprehend without the Spirit revealing such mysteries. And now, we find one of the disciples catching the foundation of the message – extending forgiveness. With this great realization, Peter asks the Lord with THE question - Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? I am certain that Peter thought he was giving Jesus a number that was beyond the “norm.” But must have been surprised with his Master’s response - "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Can you imagine the impact that statement made on the disciples? That would be 490 times. In the context of our passage, that would mean that before you go and confront such an offender, they would have to supersede the 490 offenses. As you can calculate, this type of meeting is NOT an impulsive act to relieve the offended of pain or embarrassment. It would put the meeting in the clear objective of the guidelines laid out by our Master.

This would be an impossible mandate unless you are well groomed into the art of loving your enemy.

You have heard that it was said, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…  (Matthew 5:43-44)

Love your betrayer and commit to praying for them daily. If you do this, you are promised to be sons and daughters of the Father who is in Heaven.

…so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:45)

God, being a just God, will cause His sun to rise on betrayers and the victims of such chaos. Life will continue, how you live it is up to your choices of listening to the indwelling Spirit. It’s that simple. Listening is NOT everything but Who you are listening to IS. Stay away from this new Millennial Jesus. Stay focused on the Jesus in the Holy Scriptures – who just might be living inside you.

For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? (Matthew 5:46)

We should not do things because of rewards but the reality is – they are nice to have. Jesus said that if we love those that love us back, there is no reward but love those who hate, persecute and attempt to destroy you, well, that’s sharing in the perfection and ways of Christ Himself.

If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:47-48)

I hope and trust that this article has been helpful on the topic of betrayal, the methods of their vengeance, as well as the solutions presented by Christ Himself.  

Feel free to dialog with me personally at: [email protected]