BETRAYAL
When they demolish you in a relationship, hacking away ––– that you may have no moral worth, it becomes abuse. It will knock you in pieces at a very complex level which can undermine your entire worldview. But if you or they retool the behaviors into micro structures –– and one is willing to receive corrective feedback, then one can continually adjust at small levels to create a hierarchy more advanced than they previously were. This will avoid suffering the demolition of destroying huge chunks of one’s personality and an overall relationship –– as they coincide.
Now… getting into betrayal. It’s like someone gets flipped upside down because of it. Most believe they didn’t see all the little signs. Like, for instance, your partner starts flirting when you go out and maybe not a lot – just a little bit more than you ever noticed, but your timid and don’t want to be overbearing – so it’s buried and nothing is ever said. But it’s interesting when it happens because it grabs your attention. And then the next thing that is done is at a more accelerated rate and there begins this progression towards the beginning of betrayal in greater form. Not necessary through a physical affair but an emotional disconnect. This is because every time you get a little hint --- when the world tells you that something is going on you put it aside and you fail to take it into account. You are forgoing your opportunity to adjust the relationship at micro stages because you avoiding addressing it the first time it happened.
WHEN YOU GET HOME SAY, “What the hell is going on?” (not just like that – but you get the drift) And yes, there is going to be a debate or fight – get ready for it. But it’s not “LET'S END THE RELATIONSHIP FIGHT – JUST A FIGHT.
?
It’s a micro fight instead of the relationship is over fight –– and in order to keep the relationship healthy it needs to be retooled at micro levels. When you encounter something that's unexpected especially if it's small enough to handle –– you need to extract the information from it. You need to rebuild the world and rebuild yourself. If you continue doing that every time you get evidence of an anomaly –– every time the world manifest some meaning to you, then you won't have to fall apart. The structure that constitutes you will remain viable and healthy from the bottom up and if you don't do it then you will accumulate too much and it can manifest itself into an unavoidable breakup.
Retool. Minimize the rise of total collapse. The morality becomes the act of paying sufficient attention and reacting sufficiently. You need to investigate the things that you don't want to have happen and you investigate the things that you didn't expect.
When you ?change your perceptions a bit and you change your actions a bit –– what that will culminate is a whole structural change going from point A to point B. You can now start shifting so that you're going from point A to B and then point C (REAL PROGRESS) because you're gathering information as a consequence of the inadequacies of the way you're looking at the world.
Improve your ability to perceive and act –– but also gather information that helps shift your perspective to a better point because your long term plan is correct even though there's no reason to assume that you can’t do this weird and unexpected situation.?