The best way to deal with rejection

Rejection sucks.

In any form.?

Unfortunately, you’re going to experience a lot of it in your career, especially in your 20s & 30s.?

So if you want to keep advancing, it’s vital that you respond to it effectively.?

Here’s the best technique I’ve seen to deal with rejection.?

Before I dive into this technique, I want to explain what I mean by rejection.

I’m not just talking about routine rejection that comes with job applications or pitches or proposals.

I’m talking about all the ways you can feel let down.?

Whether you’re promised a promotion that never comes.?

Or a bonus that’s dangled but then taken away.

Or someone doesn’t have your back when you thought they would support you.?

It’s tricky. To keep advancing in your career, you must build trust and invest in relationships, while also being aware that these relationships can suddenly change.?

So to appreciate what makes this technique so powerful, it helps to understand these three things about rejection:

1. Information is revealed

Every relationship you have is based on assumptions. But there’s two problems with this.?

The first problem is that very few of these assumptions are actually disclosed, which means a lot of your assumptions are only formed by yourself.?

The second problem is that these assumptions can only be tested when a decision has to be made.

For example, it’s very easy for your manager to say they’ll fight for you to get a promotion when one becomes available.?

But it’s only when a promotion comes up that you’ll really know where your relationship stands.?

Rejections are tough, but they’re also the purest form of information you can receive.?

2. Circumstances will change

Another quirk of human nature is our willingness to form expectations based on current conditions.?

It’s very easy to make a commitment which doesn’t need to be delivered right now, and there may be every intention of following through on this commitment.?

But there’s very little that we control in life.?

So while we want to set genuine expectations, we’ll likely fall short in some way because the conditions underlying our expectations will change.?

We know this will keep happening.?

But we’ll keep doing it.?

3. Everything takes energy

It takes energy to be rejected.?

You feel it in your heart. It takes up your headspace. It affects you on a primal level.

This is the price you must pay for putting trust in others.?

So why pay more?

Think about the ways you’ve responded to being let down at work.?

It probably didn’t serve you to make a public outburst of your dissatisfaction.?

Or simmer with anger about being wronged.

Or lean into destructive tendencies.?

It takes enough of your energy to move past the pain of rejection.?

Don’t spend more of your valuable energy in unproductive ways.?

So what’s the technique?

The next time you get rejected, try this.

Say to yourself:

“Thank you for telling me”.?

This response embodies gratitude because you you've given a gift (even though it may not feel that way in the moment).

The gift is true insight.??

Before you were rejected, you were investing a lot of time and energy in a relationship and hoping for a certain outcome.

With rejection, you’re now crystal clear about what outcomes are actually possible.

Without this information, you may still be investing your time and energy towards something that’s never meant to be.?

Now you are free to invest your valuable time and energy into other pursuits that are more likely to get your desired outcome.?

Don’t get me wrong, rejection will still hurt.?

But this response will help you move on more effectively.?

Thanks for reading to the end of this article!

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1. Get clear on what you want
2. Get the job you want
3. Get paid what you’re worth
4. Set yourself up for future success

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