"The best way to bond with someone isn't doing a favor, it's asking for one"

We're often told that the key to building relationships is to provide value, to do favors, to be the go-to problem solver. But what if I told you that this conventional wisdom is not just incomplete, but potentially counterproductive?

This quote from “Billions” (mentioned in the title) made me realize – this is how I approach networking, team building, and even investor relations: with the power of asking for favors.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Ask for favors? Won't that make me look weak or needy?" That's exactly what I thought when I first encountered this idea. But let me tell you a story that changed my perspective entirely.

Early in my entrepreneurial journey, I was struggling to get traction for my tech startup. We had a solid product, but couldn't seem to break into the right networks. One day, out of sheer desperation, I reached out to a successful CEO I admired, asking for advice on scaling our sales strategy.

To my surprise, not only did he agree to meet, but that 30-minute coffee chat turned into a two-hour strategy session. He introduced me to key players in the industry and even became an informal advisor to our company. Why? Because by asking for his help, I gave him the opportunity to feel valued, to showcase his expertise, and to make a meaningful impact.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson: people love to feel needed and appreciated for their unique skills or knowledge.

When you ask someone for a favor, you're not just seeking help, you're offering them a chance to feel good about themselves.

Here's why this approach works.

Firstly, It triggers reciprocity. When someone does you a favor, they subconsciously justify it by deciding that they must like you. This psychological phenomenon, known as the Ben Franklin Effect, can be a powerful tool in building genuine connections.

Secondly, it shows vulnerability. It makes you more relatable and human.

And, what’s most important, It creates investment. When someone invests time or effort in you or your project, they become more emotionally invested in your success.

Although, this isn't about manipulating people or constantly asking for handouts. It's about creating genuine connections through mutual value exchange. Here's how I would do it:

1. Be specific and thoughtful in your requests. Ask for things that align with the person's expertise or interests.
2. Show genuine appreciation. Follow up and let them know how their help made a difference.
3. Look for opportunities to reciprocate or pay it forward. Build a reputation as someone who both gives and receives graciously.
4. Don't overdo it. This tactic loses its power if you're constantly asking for favors without providing value in return.

I've seen this principle work wonders in various business contexts. When onboarding new team members, instead of just showing them the ropes, I ask for their fresh perspective on our processes. This immediately makes them feel valued and part of the team.

With investors, instead of just pitching, I often ask for their insights on specific challenges we're facing. This not only provides valuable advice but also gets them more invested in our success.

Even in client relationships, asking for feedback or involving them in product development decisions can transform a transactional relationship into a collaborative partnership.

In business, as in life, people are fundamentally self-interested.

By asking for favors, you're not being selfish – you're aligning your needs with their desire to feel important and impactful.

Remember, the goal isn't to collect favors or to create obligations. It's to build genuine, mutually beneficial relationships. In a world where everyone is trying to prove their worth by giving, sometimes the boldest move is to be the one who asks.