The best way to ask for Introductions and Referrals

Professionals usually ask for Introductions and Referrals poorly but don’t realise it.?

Here’s what you must do to make valuable connections happen in your 20s & 30s.

To advance your career, you need people to help you, and Social Capital is the currency that determines what’s possible.?

The more Social Capital you have, the greater your means for growing connections, and every request should grow the Social Capital of each person involved - especially the connector!

Introductions and Referrals are exercises in building and using Social Capital.?

An Introduction is when you ask someone to connect your professional networks, while a Referral is when someone vouches for your product or service.?

Introductions usually carry lower stakes than Referrals for the connector, but you should always approach both requests with the same level of significance.?

To understand what makes an amazing Introduction or Referral, let’s first explore why they’re usually done poorly.?

Consider for a moment when a friend or colleague has asked you to make a connection, and you immediately felt unsure about doing it.?

Why do you think you felt this way?

The ask was too casual: “Hey, I see a job has opened up in your department, could you connect me with your manager?”.

The ask was too vague: “Hey, I was just wondering if you could connect me with this person at your old firm?”

The ask didn’t serve you: “Hey, I’m going to be in Melbourne next week and I was wondering who you think I should meet?”

The reason people hesitate to make a connection is because they fear it will adversely impact their Social Capital.?

When this happens, it creates a suboptimal outcome for everyone, because:?

• The connector doesn’t feel comfortable with the ask and awkwardly declines, or
• The connector will “see what they can do” but not make a genuine effort, or
• The connector tries to make the connection but fails to unlock the value that could actually be there.?

So the best ask for an Introduction or Referral does two things:

1. Highlights the upside to BOTH the connector and the intended connection
2. Addresses and negates any perceived downside that BOTH the connector and intended connection may have.?

The key mistake that most people make when asking for Introductions and Referrals is assuming the connector is fully primed to convey the value proposition.?

So if you want to make amazing connections, here’s what you should do.?

1) Reflect on why you want the connection to be made. Ask yourself questions like:

Why do I want to be connected with this person? What am I actually asking them for? Why does this person need to know about me? Have I identified the right person to make the Introduction or Referral? What position am I putting them in with this request? How will this request benefit them??

2) When you approach the connector, help them understand the request fully.?

Explain why you’ve approached them, why you want to connect with the person they know, and how you think the other person will benefit from an Introduction or Referral.?

3) Invite the connector to provide their assessment of the situation.?

Ask the connector about the validity of the assumptions you’ve made and invite their feedback so you can both fully understand the potential opportunity.?

4) Work with the connector to craft their approach.?

The best Introductions and Referrals are when the connector explains to their contact the value of the connection they are making. The connector should make their contact receptive to an introduction and prime them to make the most of future discussions.?

The connector should not assume that the value is evident to their contact. If they do, you risk the desired connection feeling obligated to meet with you and that they’re doing a favour to the connector.?

5) Only when the desired connection is primed by the connector, should the connector then understand their contact’s ideal means of connecting with you, and then facilitate it.?

You can certainly provide options for how you can connect, but you should always allow for your desired connection to set terms that work for them.?

And 6) Always thank the connector for their efforts, regardless of the outcome.

Thanks for reading this article!

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