The Best Revenge? Ignore Them and Keep Going
Daniel Munro
I coach Nice Guys to develop self confidence, healthy relationships and social mastery
Daily Dose of Integrity
The best revenge is not to become like them—the people you don’t like, respect or just those who do harm to others—to hold the high ground of integrity, and to show that they can't take you off it.
You can't behave in a certain way without accumulating a debt, and I don’t mean some mystical karma that always comes around—it’s simply an equation: you can’t cause that much damage without a repercussion.
So, you don’t need to take revenge—let the universe handle that. Even if you did it yourself, it wouldn’t make you feel better. And now, you’ve lowered yourself to their level. They win.
That’s why I love this saying: the best revenge is simply not to be like them.
Don’t let other people move you, and that’s how you win.
Sometimes it takes a lot of thought, like, “What would I have actually done if this hadn’t happened?” You’ve got to fight against all the suggestions your fear makes to try and change your behaviour.
Ironically, if you're dealing with, say, a bully or someone who's nasty, vile, or malevolent toward you, backing down excites them.
Changing who you are is a win for them—even if it means you fight back against them.
That’s what I learned working with criminal psychopaths—they manipulated me just to manipulate me. There was no endgame.
They just wanted to move me.
They like to ruin people.
They love the taste of someone’s path being altered because of them.
They don’t care how it’s altered.
To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: