Best Practice Communication Skills for Persuading Undecided Voters in the Final Election Stretch (...or anytime really)

As the election draws to a close, leaders on both sides warn that democracy is at stake, and that it's the final chance to engage people we know who may not have decided whether to or how to vote. To be effective, we need to relearn the art of powerful, personal conversation and break free from the unproductive communications habits reinforced by social media. The good news is that these skills are not only useful now, but will help us become more persuasive at any time.

Skill 1: Shift from Facts to Personal Experiences

Social media trains us to throw out facts that often only reinforce divisions. In real conversations, opposing facts don’t resolve differences—they strain relationships. Instead, we should focus on personal stories. Research shows that storytelling is more persuasive than facts, especially when discussing complex political issues.

Most people aren’t policy analysts, and facts are often sourced from biased media feeds. If someone throws facts at you, gently redirect the conversation with phrases like, “I’d love to hear a personal experience that’s shaped your view.” This opens the door to meaningful dialogue rather than a debate over talking points.

When faced with potentially inflammatory statements, like “The right wing just wants to control women’s bodies” or “The left wants immigrants to vote so they can win,” resist the urge to respond in kind. Instead, sidestep the insult and bring the conversation back to personal stories. Your goal is the shift what is considered relevant evidence in the conversation – a conversation based on storytelling is going to be more persuasive than one based on bringing disputable facts to bear.

Skill 2: Share Your Own Personal Experiences

Social media tells us that facts are the key to persuasion. In reality, personal stories resonate more deeply. Think in advance about the issues that matter to you and about 1-2 specific personal experiences that shaped those beliefs. For instance, if you’re passionate about gun rights, you might share a time when a civilian having a gun made you feel safer. Conversely, if you advocate for more gun control, get ready to share an experience when a gun in the hands of a non-police officer made you feel unsafe.

The power of personal storytelling lies in its difficulty to challenge. People can debate facts, but it’s much harder to argue against someone’s lived experience.

Skill 3: Use the ABC Rule – Agreement Before Challenge

We’re conditioned by social media to challenge opposing viewpoints as soon as possible, lest we are deemed to be complicit in their views be judged as platforming them. However, in person to person conversations, immediate disagreements activate tribal defenses – our evolutionarily evolved brains are prone to seeing those who disagree with us as part of opposing factions that might hurt us. So after the other person tells you a story that helps you understand their views, don’t immediately jump from that to a story that explains your views – you will get to that. Instead, focus first on trying to create a sense of agreement and some level of common ground. As 16th-century theologian John Knox said, “You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.” Tending to the sense of agreement in a conversation will ultimately lead you to have a higher chance of influence on them.

Thus, if you want someone to be open to your viewpoint, start by finding something you both agree on. For example, gun control and gun rights advocates both value safety. Telling Focusing on this shared value before emphasizing differences puts you on the same page, and makes it easier to discuss differences in a way that feels respectful and that maximizes your possibility of influencing the other person.

Beyond the Election: Healing After the Results

No matter who wins the election, millions will be disappointed, and the country will remain divided, probably even moreso. After the results, we’ll need to focus on healing these divisions. One crucial step will be avoiding “victory laps” in conversations, especially with those on the other side. Instead, we should honor each other’s feelings and grief about the outcome.

Fortunately, moving toward reconciliation as a nation and within our relationships requires the same communication skills we use during the election: asking questions, telling personal stories, listening empathetically, and seeking common ground. Regardless of the election’s outcome, these skills will help us heal and build a more united future.

Dr. David Campt (@thedialogueguy) is the founder and president of The Dialogue Company (www.thedialoguecompany.com) and specializes in creating collaborative conversations.?