The other day, my son Tom asked me a thought-provoking question: “Knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently during your midlife crisis?”
My answer was simple: I would have prepared better.
Preparation, in this context, means building buffers in different areas of your life to cushion you against the unexpected. Here’s what I mean:
- Work Buffer: One of the key lessons I learned is the importance of not overloading myself with too many projects at once. There were so many times in my life when my schedule was packed to the brim, leaving me praying that nothing else would come up because I simply didn’t have the capacity to handle additional work. Building a work buffer means managing your workload so that you always have some breathing room for the unexpected.
- Health Buffer: Maintaining a health buffer means ensuring that your physical and mental batteries never run too low. It’s about taking care of your body and mind before you hit the point of burnout. Regular exercise, meditation, and addressing issues as they arise are crucial to keeping your energy levels high and your mind clear, so you can make informed decisions and stay motivated.
- Financial Buffer: Having a financial buffer in place is about more than just saving money. It’s about creating a safety net that allows you to live without income for six months—or ideally, 12 months—so that if life throws you a curveball, you have the financial stability to weather the storm without added stress.
- Relationship Buffer: Regular, open conversations with your life partner and close friends are essential. These relationships provide emotional support and perspective during tough times. Building a relationship buffer means investing time in these connections, so they remain strong and supportive when you need them most.
- Shadow Work: Most importantly, it’s crucial to work on your shadow—the parts of yourself that you hide, are ashamed of, or that hold you back. This includes unresolved traumas, fears, childhood triggers, and unhelpful communication patterns. These hidden shadows have a way of emerging at the worst possible times, which is why it’s vital to address them head-on before they can derail your life. By working on these issues proactively, you stay ahead of the game and prevent them from becoming bigger problems down the line.
In reflecting about all of this, I’ve come to believe that preparation could actually be the best prevention strategy for a midlife crisis. By building these buffers and doing the necessary inner work, you can navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and stability.
Here’s my offer: If you’re interested in learning more about how to prepare for life’s unexpected challenges and build these essential buffers, let’s have a conversation. Your future self will thank you.
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Marcel, your insights on preparing for a midlife crisis are incredibly practical. Building buffers in various areas of life—work, health, finances, and relationships—is such a valuable approach to not just surviving but thriving through life's inevitable challenges. We prepare financially and mentally for things such as weddings, the purchas of one's first home, a baby, and various unexpected stresses, but not many think of doing the same for the transition that comes a couple of decades into our adult life. Your emphasis on shadow work is especially powerful, as it reminds us that the real work begins within, long before a crisis hits. Nurturing our relationships and creating a financial buffer is equally essential. Your reflection on the importance of preparation resonates deeply. It’s a reminder that by proactively creating space and stability in our lives, we can navigate even the toughest times with resilience and grace. Thank you for sharing these strategies—they're not only preventative but empowering for anyone looking to strengthen their foundation before life’s curveballs come their way. Thank you for continuing to guide us towards a more intentional and prepared life!