The Best Method When You Need to Push Back and Protect Your Time
Dawn Goldberg, CPA
?? Author of "The Smarter Accountant" ?? I teach smart accountants how to be smarter ? Professional Certified Coach for Accountants ? 30+ years as a CPA and with the Big 4 ?? Take the Smarter Accountant Quiz in bio
As an accountant, you know how important it is to be reliable. When people trust you to get things done, it can lead to promotions and new opportunities. But always saying yes can create problems.?
If you agree to everything, you might end up feeling stressed and exhausted.?
Have you thought about what saying yes all the time is doing to you? It’s time to consider how overcommitting can affect both your work and personal life.
The Consequences of Always Saying Yes
While saying yes might seem like the right thing to do, it comes with a price. Taking on too much can cause stress and even burnout. You may become the go-to person for all the last-minute tasks, leaving you feeling undervalued.?
This constant pressure doesn’t just affect your work—it can also take a toll on your personal life. You might miss important family time or feel too tired to enjoy time at home.?
If you’re feeling stretched too thin, it’s important to recognize the signs and set healthier boundaries.
Your Brain's Role in Pushing Back
Why is it so hard to say no? It’s all in your brain. When you think about saying no, your brain reacts as if there’s a threat.?
The truth is, the word "no" has a strong effect on the brain. If we scanned your brain and flashed the word "no," even for less than a second, it would trigger a release of stress hormones.
This reaction messes with how your brain normally works, making it harder to think clearly, reason, and communicate. Surprising, right? It shows just how powerful the word "no" can be.
Stress hormones kick in, making it hard to think clearly or respond calmly. That’s why you may feel guilty or uncomfortable when you try to push back.?
The bottom line is that understanding how your brain works in these moments can help you find better ways to manage stress and push back when you need to.
The Best Method for Pushing Back
Now that we understand why saying no is tough, let’s talk about a simple method to make it easier.?
Let me introduce you to the "Yes...AND..." method.? It’s a simple but powerful way to set boundaries without causing conflict.
The "Yes...AND..." method helps you agree to a request while also making sure your needs are met. Instead of just saying no, which can create stress, you say yes and then add your own conditions with an “AND”.
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By adding an “AND”, you don’t reject the request, but you also don’t overcommit yourself. This creates a conversation where both sides can talk and find a solution that works for everyone. It helps avoid the stress and conflict that can come with saying no.
Here’s how the "Yes...AND..." method can make things better:
Practical Examples Using the Method
Here’s how you can use the "Yes...AND..." method in real life, and why it works better than just saying no:
At home: If your child asks for candy before dinner, say, “Yes, AND after we finish dinner, you can have some.”? This works better than saying no because if you just say no, your child might feel upset or throw a tantrum. By saying yes and adding a condition, your child feels heard and you keep control of the situation, while still sticking to your rule about dinner first. It avoids conflict and keeps the peace.
At work: If a client wants a meeting outside your work hours, respond with, “Yes, AND I’m available tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning.”? This works better than saying no because saying no to a client’s request might make them feel rejected or unimportant. The "Yes...AND..." method shows that you are willing to help, but on your terms, which protects your time. It keeps the relationship positive while also setting a clear boundary.
With a colleague: If a coworker needs a last-minute favor, say, “Yes, AND I can help, but I’ll need until Thursday to finish it.”? This works better than saying no because if you say no, your colleague might feel frustrated or unsupported. By saying yes and giving a reasonable deadline, you’re offering help but also managing expectations. It shows you’re a team player without overloading yourself with too many tasks at once.
Using the "Yes...AND..." method in these situations helps maintain good relationships and keeps conversations open, while also protecting your time and well-being.
The bottom line is that learning to push back with the "Yes...AND..." method allows you to set boundaries without feeling guilty or causing conflict. By using this approach, you can maintain your reputation as a reliable professional while protecting your time and avoiding burnout.?
It’s about finding balance—helping others when you can, but also taking care of yourself.?
So, the next time you’re faced with a request, remember that saying yes doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your well-being. With the right approach, you can achieve both.
If you’re interested in becoming a Smarter Accountant, you can take The Smarter Accountant Quiz at www.thesmarteraccountant.com.??
If you want to learn more about the best method when you need to push back and protect your time, check out this episode of The Smarter Accountant Podcast ?? https://thesmarteraccountant.com/the-best-method-when-you-need-to-push-back-and-protect-your-time/
You can also download The Smarter Accountant Podcast Guide at https://thesmarteraccountant.com/podcast-guide/