The Best Leadership is Service

We've rebranded as PricklyPear! In early 2023, we began sharing weekly content (see below) with a focus on neurodivergent leaders and we truly hope it has made a difference for you. Recently, we introduced you to a new company that I (Ken) and Petra Russell, PCC, CPC, ELI-MP have launched to specifically serve neurodivergent leaders.

As Executive Coaches and Leadership Trainers we've had the opportunity to work with hundreds of neurodivergent leaders and coach them through many leadership and workplace challenges. Each week we will continue to share resources and insights for neurodivergent leaders and the rest of us.

This week we discuss the core emotional needs we all share.

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The Best Leadership is Service

You’ve understood how to live your best life since the day you were born.

Only fear and pain has made you any different.

We all have core emotional needs that we have been managing our entire lives.

These are the needs:

• ????To grow
• ????To be seen
• ????To experience connection
• ????Feel certainty
• ????Experience variety
• ????To contribute to others

This is how all of us are wired. Check out the world and just look. What are people after? It’s easy to see that we are all being run by these needs.

So what runs you? Can you see yourself in any of these areas?

I can see myself in all of them and for the sake of educating and being a little vulnerable—I’ll share some examples of how it shows up. I wonder if you can see yourself in any of these stories.

• To grow: I can barely stand still I want to grow so much. When I was 12 years old, I sat in my driveway for hours trying to kick the hacky sack 100 straight times without it hitting the ground, then I would go to the library and read about quasars and dream about becoming an astronaut. As an adult, I am learning??new languages, doing my best to improve my skiing, and I’m constantly taking courses to improve my business skills.
• To be seen: yes—I want to be the center of attention and only years have dampened this need. I look back on my teens, 20s, and 30s and I cringe to think of how often I interrupted or otherwise bulldozed people in my life so I would get the attention I wanted. That attention seeker still runs the show sometimes but of course he looks more sophisticated.
• To experience connection: when I took the assessment about these needs—this is the one that showed up as my most important need. The desire to connect is so strong that it moves my decisions about what I want to do with my days and it obviously has played a role in the career I chose where I get to connect deeply to people all day long.
• Feel certainty: this is probably my lowest need as I tend to have a very high tolerance for risk. However, I also need to know where I’m going to lay my head at night, how I’m going to pay my bills, and more than anything in this area, I need to be certain about my big life choices.
• Experience variety: possibly my second biggest need. Most of my friends are surprised by how many different activities I can do in a week—or even a day. Just take a look at my passport and travel itineraries; I’ve been in over 35 countries and all but three states.
• To contribute to others: this is the secret ingredient that we all have in us for a great life. I get to serve people in my job but we all can serve people all the time. Acts of service fill a deep emotional need for ourselves and it’s the only one on this list that is always, always available. Anytime we want to, we can be of service.

So this is how you have a great life—take a look at your emotional needs and notice that you can dramatically increase your own happiness by focusing on making a difference for others—by serving others.

You may even meet some other emotional needs while you are at it… but even if you don’t…you will still be making a difference.

What can you do today to be of service?

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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodiversity leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

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