Are the Best Leaders Reluctant to Lead?

I don’t know about you, but I neither trust nor like the self-proclaimed, spent their lives focused on getting there, power tripping, wrongly named—and in my view, dangerously positioned—so-called leaders.

You know the type?

They show up in politics using every form of demagoguery to get elected…then they never actually lead or do anything worthwhile as all their energy is spent on creating divisiveness, attacking others, and building their own brands. You know who I mean…and this isn’t limited to any one party.

At work? Funny this…these types of leaders are the ones responsible for what is called “Office Politics.” They have never met a colleague they wouldn’t take down for their own benefit. Years ago, I ran the global portion of a big brand (everything other than the US). A friend, or so I thought, ran the US domestic side. Turns out, he was knifing me daily…when I confronted him, he said—and you can’t make this up—“It’s only business.” The bottom line, he got fired. It was only business…they got tired of the distraction.

I have long felt that even in communal work, those that want to be Chairperson and fight for it should never be allowed to serve.?

The theme is coveting the title leader, and spending your energy, time, and money to achieve it does not make you a leader. Or even close.?

While this is not some new phenomenon or a problem that has recently cropped up, I have this sense that in our over-enabled, digital-shared world, we have exacerbated the issue. Companies, people, and organizations are suffering as a result.?

The remedy, in my opinion, will be the triumphant return of the “Reluctant Leader.”

The person who is respected, sought after, valued, and in demand. People respect their views, council, wisdom, experience, even-keeled approach, niceness—you get the picture. They play the long game with the team as a whole.?

These are the people who always take accountability (my readers know this word well). They’re the ones who can role shift, seamlessly and with no drama, as the situation demands…one day sitting at the head of the table, the next taking coffee orders for everyone.?

Reluctant Leadership is as old as the Bible, if not older. Moses (see Charlton Heston), arguably one of the greatest leaders of all time, was a model Reluctant Leader. Raised with princely privilege in the palace of the Pharoah, he neither sought nor was ready to accept the title, power, and all that comes with it. In the end, he died humbly, having appointed his successor and getting out of his way.?

Turns out, I’m not alone in this thinking. The Cass Business School in London published a study in 2014 that found “Reluctant Bosses” were better at keeping the lid on nasty office politics, keeping things running well, and promoting autonomy…supporting others to do their thing as it were. Why? Because they worked hard, building trust to get where they were. Being there wasn’t their goal…doing the best was. Seems their leadership was considered more legitimate.

What makes people Reluctant Leaders?

1. It’s never about the title or privilege.

Some people are simply most happy when contributing in a positive way to the collective. You know the type. It's not that they are altruistic, they want to get paid and get ahead like all. It's just that power, conflated as leadership, is irrelevant to them. They are trusted. They make things happen. They don’t need false validation to succeed.?

How many times have I heard, “I can’t do it if you don’t make me the leader?” You can guess how the team felt about that outcome…You can get the title “God” or “Emperor of the World” anytime…but who will believe it? Look at all the titles in your organization and you will know what I mean. How many CEOs can you have?

2. They just want to do their job and take accountability for it.

Frankly, because of the power-trippers, there is a fear of being blamed for anything and everything. OMG…how many times have I seen this? Scapegoating to get ahead. The first move, weaseling to get ahead and save their own ass. Deflection of the highest order. Sad commentary on our environment when this rears its head.?

3. People, the team, is more important to them than title.

The fear of losing friends has kept many potential leaders from fulfilling their and our best destinies. Your buddy wants what you were offered. Clearly, to most, you are the best choice…but you don’t want to antagonize. I’d ask, how good a friend is that anyway? Not to mention teammate.?

Has this happened to me? More than once. I got a job and had to deal with the fallout. I sat one person down and said, “Look, I didn’t ask for it…I get that you did. But help me and let’s build together.” Spoiler alert: The person didn’t. I was fending off pot shots for way too long.

In any social dynamic with outcomes as an end-game, there are only three possibilities. Thomas Paine put it best:

“Lead, follow, or get out of the way…”

I will only add, lead reluctantly, follow willingly, or actively and with alacrity get the hell out of the way.

Moses had his issues…but we still talk about his reluctant example.?

What’s your view?