The best gift to a woman- is to allow her to THINK !

"Off with her head ! She is thinking !"

 For some reason a woman who can think seems to ruffle many feathers. Being just pretty or exceedingly domestic gains world appreciation however. Which also explains why Miss World, Miss Universe and other Beauty pageants have been and still are such a rave. Nobody celebrates a woman's brains the way they willingly honour her beauty. Its been a Marilyn Monroe over Madam Curie world. Like her flying dress contributed more to the men on earth than radioactivity ever could ! This bias is so hard wired it is almost rigid to the degree of being cast in stone.

There was a time when the place for women in society, was somewhere behind the stove and stood a little after most animals in the homestead. That place she accepted unwittingly because the doctrine demanded so. Stirring the ladle and bending over utensils had relegated her to being a side kick in society’s placement. Decisions even for what concerned her, was the business of anyone on two legs provided they grew facial hair in abundance. Often a woman who expressed the desire to partake the thinking process was kicked out because decision making groups dint comprise any of her own kind. Solidarity of women has to be demonstrated in numbers for them to be recognised as entity. When will we as a community realise that ? The more women we see, who make their presence felt in the community , departments, organisations and leadership layers - the more there is the chance to get that recognition which permits the licence to THINK.

 Unfortunately for very long in the history of women lives, the kitchen, children and pressures in managing home and hearth kept her so engaged she had no time to pause. It dint occur to her - her hands had gotten to be more important than her mind and the mind was getting rusty. The chores list, in a non- mechanical world would have been so consuming it is not hard to see why she dint find the time to attend the tee- a- tee, "men of power" often held. Her absence was pronounced in every society no matter how separated by oceans and seas. The tilting number of men that ruled these discussion eventually became who wrote the rule books. Decisions that came out of these books, half hinged on religion and the other half on convenience for men. Over time the rules, decided her place is best behind her man. Some obnoxious ones like Manusmrithi written in 2nd century BCE – 3rd century CE India, even had the audacity of stating just how many steps behind the man a woman is allowed to walk ! The Koran too says a wife needs to walk 3 steps behind her man. Shadow was sold as a good place to exist in. Darkness is not absence of light – it was actually a colour - very becoming one for a woman. How did women all over the world from the EAST to the WEST end up leaving the reins of community existence and power to men is not amazing when you study this tad deeper.

In many communities around the world from ancient Greek, to Hindu to Egyptian civilisations – women had a substantial place and holding too. The oldest scriptures show women as gods and women as symbols of power. The place of an ancient queen in many old civilisations was as powerful as that of the King. But something happened rather happily and smoothly too by the power of malevolent few. Uncanny how malevolence is a common occurrence wherever there is power. The dependency of Kings on soothsayers and priests was common, world-over in history. This new man in the picture saw the queen as the opponent, one who had excruciating power over the King and his mind. Many such priests and soothsayers worked hard to sever the faith of the Kings from their better half claiming confidentiality and need to keep things classified. Funny and not so funny how all over the world the priests who were said to be closest to god devised the first holy books. Books which bumped off women and allowed man to be centre stage with other men. This marked the beginning of XX falling off the charts.

Before religion gained momentum and grabbed mankind by the throat there is good evidence that indicated women earned equal education, property and status too.  These drafted religions came in to bring law and order, with some semblance of legislative order from a governance angle. But interestingly every religion around the world ensured it was male dominated and male governed. As religion crafted its Holy books and its deployment became stringent one imbibed by royals and peasants too – the rules became the gospel truth. History has records of Greek councils which hosted men in robes and wreaths pacing the floor in sandals, making that big tough call on whether to hold ground or attack the neighbouring territory – not a woman in sight. Indian kings sought the favourite priest, the ministers and the court councils, all pure testosterone. Women were shoved out of the periphery of anything that had any form of power. All that was inked by men without an iotas contribution by women, ensured the woman’s standing and disposition began to reduce to zilch. Then on, what began was a period of acceptance, adjustment and adaptation.

 A new shape and form for woman was in the making. Medieval times made this dimension come alive. Obedience, duty, subservience, faithfulness, coyness and femininity demonstrated through weakness became desirable. Among all qualities attached to a woman the universal one that was right on top of that list was CONFORMITY - her highest virtue. One that allowed the men to dictate her steps and her thoughts. If ever there was bigotry of any kind that could inspire an artist to bring it on to canvas - this period would have been the best. It is important to remember that the pen and the paint, also were held by hands with only prominent veins and therefore her suffocation would never be told in that time. Insufferable conditions, confinement, crushing of aspirations had to be traded for support and financial security. This was the pattern everywhere world over. To exalt the woman however they penned and painted her luscious full body with flowing fair and a heavy bosom - all of which made her appear as tame as the next domestic cow. When conditioned not to see the awkward and question the odd – the human mind sees as it is programmed to.

 The new definitions and adjectives for women stuck on like leeches for centuries. The more the holy books took control over human society, the more women were relegated to the back burner. In my view wars and greed both were god sent. Not so much for the men who died at war or who sought new land - but for the women who were forced to enter the scene when the men died or went away for long or when society could not handle the mess and everybody’s potential was sought…. anybody’s and that is when she was found again. She finally got a chance to grow a spine and the opportunity to speak her mind. Let’s look at the East for a bit for this example. Had the British had not wished to conquer the world - the world of people who were colonised by them would not have picked up education to combat this new enemy. Because local men could not move and stir their masses, they brought out the humble women attached to pots, looms and needlework and introduced her to the alphabet. A hunger within her, that had not been fed for centuries consumed every flying word within 5km radius and slowly grew the first ever women social reformists of the East.

Women who for the first time were allowed to use their mental faculty, voice and also have the luxury to demand change. Voices so strong and inspiring they moved people and turned the force of the citizens to be one. A feat not possible by only men. Her strength was seen as needed to lift the spirit of the common man. The only way to evict the invader was through solidarity – a powerful message that needs a profound heart to deliver. The invader had no such plans to breathe life into women who were breathing in spurts until then– but like FREAKONOMICS- what happened was a much needed door that finally opened by accidental influence. An irreversible one.

 In the tradition of playing second fiddle many women had got so used to be seated in inertia, thinking was seen as a male characteristic and a thinking woman was also unsexy. Half the time, reformists women were criticised and pulled down by their own kind. The CONFORMISTS who take the longest to see, understand and move, is the high seated priestess although spineless and against her own gender. The hands that point at the voicing women has always been as many male as women. But such thinking women were not exclusive to the East alone. Few strong women of the early 19th century from Europe changed literature, politics and also urged their men to see Human rights the way it was meant to be seen .They were declared social wantons and dangerous liberalist. The ones in the East, were ostracised and declared unclean. A woman in America who could hold her farm land by the grit of a gun in one hand and hold on to her brood and her home by the other, always had men to remind her of its impossibility and the danger of being vulnerable. Every time a woman has tried to rise, ten hands compressed upon her head. When she  asked poignant questions on rights, laws and her place she was termed a witch, a rule breaker or a psycho. 

Even today Courage is not associated with a woman and when a courageous women stands it is common to see her pelted by stones. Nothing has changed although the clock has moved its hands many zillion times over. We may have independence for all citizens in most countries but a woman’s place is still defined by a society owned by men. Western societies have made progress by leaps and bounds. While a vast majority of women in the West can claim right to live and right to choose and the right to earn – the right to Think and the right to Ask is not a privilege still. Far worse the case in countries like India. Conformism is unfortunately a very important expectation here. If a woman asks a questions others were blind to, many look at her menacingly saying “Damn it ! Why does she ask so many questions. Who does she think she is . Bloody nosy. Why does she even have an opinion ! “ Trust this - somewhere in the recess of their mind what they are most annoyed about is “Why dint it occur to us ! Hate her guts “. 

The seat of power is any - just about any place that allows you to THINK. The chance to speak and to be heard follows only when you are given the right to Think. This is what has been totally denied in time, so to expect the first generation of working women or new to this liberated thinking phase, to be suddenly live wires sparking nuclear thinking ability is tad ludicrous - especially for as long as the bias sits in phantom garb. It is common to see women thinkers face criticism at the workplace for thinking aloud. As a woman leader i have been given feedback several times by different male leaders - that i ask too many ground shaking questions, have strong opinions, that i should not think so much and even if i think - not speak out at all. I was told to write what i think and share with my boss so he wont look stupid ( and probably run off with the credit of having thought all that himself but really the fact that my thinking was causing insecurity was sickening ). I have often wondered if men get this feedback. Are they asked to cork a perfectly working mind ? Are they told off when they find a blip or a gross miss in a strategy ? Do they have to face evaluation when they bring to the table solutions unheard of ? Why is that, If she asks several meaningful and hard questions then she is a hard nut and a derelict, but he is not ? He is a star, a stalwart, a born leader !!! Conformity is a glass sheet and any asking woman can break it, within seconds. 

She who has an opinion, she who asks and she who THINKS = NOT most dangerous thing. She is only evolving & if you let her be.... with her, the world too will change. She may look like Audrey Hepburn but think like Socrates and Spielberg, put together. Now were those guys so bad ?