The B.E.S.T. Framework For Organic Conversations

When meeting someone new, especially during networking, you may be wondering how do you keep the conversation organic and less transactional? In other words, how can you keep the conversation in a constant flow-state?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about keeping conversations interesting . In that article, there are several key points that can help with a conversational flow-state, such as having pre-planned stories to foster intrigue and to always remember that a conversation is a two-way street - i.e. sometimes the problem isn't you.

Today, I want to introduce you to the B.E.S.T. Framework. I've been teaching this framework to Masters students at Graduate Schools for over 10 years. This framework will help you create natural, organic conversations rather than forced and transactional ones. So let's dive in:

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What Does B.E.S.T. Stand For?

B - Beginning

E - Explore

S - Showcase Knowledge

T - Take Care

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1. B: Beginning

The beginning is exactly that. It's the moment you meet someone. It's the introduction. It's the exchanging of names. And it's the first impression. There are a couple key elements that yield big takeaways in the introduction.

First, as mentioned above and in my past article , it's important to have a few pre-planned story-starters. One of those stories should be reserved to use in the immediate intro. This will break the ice, and most likely result in the recipient asking to hear more about the story, thereby allowing for a flow-state dialogue.

Second, after exchanging names, a common next step is asking a "first question" to each other, such as "what do you do?" or "how do you know Susan?" or "Do you live close by?", etc. The answers to these small-talk questions can provide so much data that you can use to keep the conversation engaging because they will help you connect them to some of your pre-planned stories.

Third, be sure to bring a lot of energy during the "Beginning" part of the conversation. Energy is the unspoken currency that can make or break a conversation. If you exude positivity, interest and passion, it will put the recipient at ease. It's also about that positive first impression.

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2. E: Explore

Asking questions is how we learn more about others. I can't tell you the amount of times I've been in a conversation, and the other person doesn't ask a single question. Remember, conversations are two-way streets, and if I find myself on a one-way street, I look for the next exit and find someone else to talk to.

The "Explore" is not just about asking questions, but asking insightful ones. The more you practice the art of asking questions, the better you will get at it. Your questions should make the recipient want to answer in detail versus providing one-word answers.?

For example, let's say during the "Beginning", you learned the recipient lives close by. Most people will reply with, "Yea, I know where that is". That's a conversation killer because now you have to jump into another question, which takes away the organic nature. Instead, a reply such as "I've thought about living in that neighborhood. Do you like it? Good neighbors?". The recipient will have more to share, and it inevitably opens up an opportunity for you to talk about whether you like having neighbors, or a story of bad neighbors you once had and thus allows for a healthy back and forth.

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3. S: Showcase Knowledge

You don't want to only live in the "Explore" world. In fact, you want to consistently jump between Explore and Showcase Knowledge. The "Showcase Knowledge" point is about bringing in your experiences and stories to the conversation. During professional networking, you would showcase your experiences in your current or past jobs that highlight your strengths and skills.

Showcasing your knowledge only works if you have done the necessary preparation. This means, sitting down and writing at least twenty to thirty stories and past experiences that you can use during different social settings. It takes work, but if you want to get better at communication, it's a road you will have to travel.

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4. T: Take Care

The "Take Care" is essentially the goodbye. In a professional setting, a good "thank you" is an effective way of saying goodbye that can leave a lasting impression. In a personal, social setting, your goodbye is probably exchanging numbers to hangout sometime in the future.

The best goodbyes are ones that are memorable. Telling someone how nice it was speaking with them, calling back to a specific story shared during your conversation and even highlighting something about yourself are impactful ways to leave a lasting impression as you part ways.

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Parting Words

There isn't a surefire way to have engaging, entertaining conversations. It takes effort, and unfortunately, you are only half of the puzzle to make it work. That being said, frameworks like the B.E.S.T. framework can help you with an organized and structured approach to conversations. The key is to be prepared with stories, practice asking questions and show up with a lot of energy. Finally, just remember that to get good at this, it takes practice. Keep trying, and have fun during the process.

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If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me ?or learn more about?communication?coaching here .