Best Advice for Single Men - Approach

Remember when getting a date meant asking/giving a phone number, starting up a conversation and following through? Everyone got asked to the prom, Saturday night dates were abundant and the weekend was a welcome distraction from the work week and women weren’t moaning about “where are all the men?”! In todays’ world with all the social media outlets and connectors of people, we are more alone and lonely then ever in history!

Too many options make people confused and picky. The 10,000 possible dates to chose from becomes like a second job, weeding and sifting through countless profiles, it’s tedious and frustration sets in. The square box/ hand held devices removes the human aspect between the sexes connecting with online dating.

There are a percentage of people who have success with online dating, but the numbers are very small. Match.com boast that they have had 549,000 marriages, but with membership at 30 million that only equates to 1.8%! Sure you can get a date after endless emails, show up, have a drink or my favourite- a coffee (grown ups need to have real dates) talk about each other’s past relationships – big no, no, and pretend that you’re having a great time while hitting the snooze button during the evening. That’s not how it’s supposed to be! 

I would love to see/hear more men take the initiative and approach, talk to, and even buy a woman a drink; remember that out of style concept? There are men who do, this is directed to the men that don't. Single Vancouverites complain about the lack of interaction from each other, instead, blaming each other for their lack luster love lives. 

Why not come from the perception that everyone is approachable, because they are. We all have a need and desire to be loved, noticed, heard and admired. Go into it with no expectations, no end result, just a friendly gesture of one human to another. You will affect someone in a positive way and uplift their spirit just from a smile, compliment or better yet, an invitation.

Flirting is healthy, but it needs to go beyond that. How do singles couple up if men don’t ask the questions; “Can we exchange numbers?” “ I’d like to see you again”, “Can I take you out for dinner?” Don’t be afraid of the answer boys, just ask! It’s part of being male to ask a woman out on a date, not the other way around, this concept hasn’t changed over time. Secure, well adjusted and healthy men do this, with great results. Take a chance on yourself and put self doubt, shyness and insecure tendencies out of your mind and come from a genuine, sincere place and you will be surprised at the changes in your dating life.

Focus on what you want to happen, not on what won’t happen. Change your belief system; that internal voice that guides your intentions to a result that is desired. Your reactions are just as important as your delivery.  Don’t be offended if a woman isn’t receptive, be respectful and thank her for her time; open, friendly and receptive women are the ones that matter.  It’s that simple, it’s not complicated. Go out this week and see what happens, the fun exists in the action taken which creates opportunities. What’s the worst that can happen, really? Just think of the possibilities that can – alter your thinking, take a breath, smile and simply approach a stranger that is appealing... that's it.