Best Advice: Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams

Fear, also known as phobia, can be a paralyzing and terrifying force in your life. There are 318.9 million people in the U.S. and 6.3 million of them have been medically diagnosed with a phobia. Fortunately, there are a lot of resources available to help you face and overcome fear, you are not alone. The truth is that every person experiences fear in this world - whether medically diagnosed or not - and every person reacts to fear differently.

You have two choices: 1) To control your fears or 2) To let your fears control you. There is no such thing as living fearlessly in order to be successful; this is a lie that you must stop believing because this lie may actually be holding you back from being successful and living your dreams.

Experiencing fear is nothing to be ashamed of, it is a human emotion. Sadly, people feel shame and this creates more fear in them. When not addressed properly and timely, fear can rob you of your joy. Also, fear can cause you to fall into a very debilitating mental, emotional and physical state, which can lead to stress, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and other scary healthy disorders that can threaten your wellbeing.

Watch out of for those ghosts (fears) in your life and be ready to confront them courageously. You are bigger than your fears, do not allow them to keep you small. Do not feed your fears, live your dreams!

Fear is not always a bad thing. Fear can be your friend in the right amount of doses. Too much fear can be deathly, that is when fear is not your ally. Fear can keep you secure and it can also be an encouraging source to help you do what you need to. Often times, we think that some things are scary and hard to handle to only discover that when we take a step of courage to confront them, we are happily surprised that they were not.

For instance, Joe had an abusive boss and his fear of confronting him only added more stress to his life. He knew something had to be done; he needed to talk with his boss. So Joe armed himself with courage and met with his boss. His hands were sweating and his legs were shaking, he was very nervous. However, Joe successfully managed to stay in control. Surprisingly, his meeting with his boss went well and the fear of having a conversation with him disappeared as soon as the meeting was over.

According to Statistic Brain, these are the top seven fears in the U.S.: Fear of public speaking (Glossophobia) 78%, fear of death (Necrophobia) 68%, fear of spiders (Arachnophobia) 30.5%, fear of darkness (Achluophobia) 11%, fear of heights (Acrophobia) 10%, fear of people or social situations (Sociophobia) 7.9% and fear of flying (Aerophobia) 6.5%.

The percent of things feared that will never take place is 60%, the percent of things feared that happened in the past and can’t be changed is 30%, the percent of things feared that are considered to be insignificant issues is 90%, the percent of things feared in relation to health that will not happen is 88%. There you have it. While these fears occupy the top of the list according to statistics, there are other fears that I have observed that consume people in the workplace and life.

The fear that I want to address now is the fear of rejection because it is one fear that keep us from growing and living a full life. While rejection exists and it happens at work and outside of work, we need to realize that we can't control people nor their actions; fortunately, we can control our emotions and our actions to not let them consume us. When rejection turns into fear, it can make us feel very unhappy. Let's learn more about this fear to confront it.

The Fear of Rejection

This is considered one of the deepest human fears, affecting people personally and professionally. A huge part of the fear of rejection can be attributed to feeling hurt, pain, anger, disappointment, and loss; and who wants to feel these things? No one. It is naturally human to long to be accepted and wanted.

To avoid feeling rejected, people tend to withdraw from others before giving them a chance to reject them and before of reaching out. This is an unhealthy behavior that far from being helpful it is very damaging.

People become anxious about the possibility of being cut off, misunderstood, criticized, or judged; they refrain from authentically expressing their feelings as a way to protect themselves. In general, the fear of rejection can become a very damaging emotion and behavior that can negatively impact and hurt personal and business relationships, and the full enjoyment of life.

Things that can help you overcome the fear of rejection

Identify it the source of it
Stop thinking too much
Be assertive and speak up
Quit seeking constant approval of others
Be comfortable with yourself
Find ways to boost your self-esteem
Be kind to yourself
Acknowledge your worth
Believe in yourself
Dare to be open and vulnerable (use wisdom)
Be courageous
Resolve to not be so critical of yourself
Be accepting of who you are
Avoid pleasing everyone all the time
Surround yourself with caring people
Talk with a trusted friend or family member
Seek professional help

When you are able to face your fears and accept that there are things to do to overcome them, it can tremendously help you heal more promptly. Do not allow your fears to control you. You may not have the power to control what others think or do, though you have the power to control your fears. 

Being rejected hurts, no doubt about it. Rejection is real and so is the fear of rejection; neither one is pleasant. Not everything in life works as you wish. To get through life, let your faith and hope sustain you, and believe that things will work out in one way or another. Remember that you are bigger than your fears, do not allow them to keep you small. Do not feed your fears, live your dreams!

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." Dale Carnegie

"Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” Judy Blume

How has the fear of rejection impacted your life?, What has helped you to overcome fear?. Please share in the comments section below.

Do not let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen. Credit Image shesnext.com

Other posts by Ivette K. Caballero

Best Advice: You Hold The Key To Success
Best Advice: Dream Big Dreams Because You Can
Best Advice: Never Forget Where You Came From
Best Advice: Happiness Is Not About Having All You Want
Best Advice: Be Kind To Others
Best Advice: Check Your Motives
Best Advice: Hope To Thrive