Best Advice: Don't Play in the Baby Pool

In this series, professionals share the words of wisdom that made all the difference in their lives. Follow the stories here and write your own (please include the hashtag #BestAdvice in the body of your post).

I have been blessed with great mentors in my career, each offering sage advice. Wisdom is rare and when you are lucky enough to receive it, you should strive to orient your life around its teaching.

Growing up black in America, I witnessed at times the insidiousness of racial animus. I am old enough to have seen the vestiges of Jim Crow and to also enjoy the emerging fruits of groundbreaking civil rights laws. My parents were among the early generation that had more serious prospects for success and opportunity, and they certainly made the most of it. Affirmative action, new civil rights protections and efforts at diversity and integration helped foster their achievements. While these protections were crucial to seeding genuine opportunity, it is too simple to suggest that these advances neutralized race, allowing success to blossom naturally according to merit. There was an element of personal perseverance, strength and character that made a powerful difference.

As I came of age I began to see more clearly that race games are not always overt and not always hateful. In competitive environments — the workplace, a football field, and a university campus, for example — it is the nature of competitors to seek advantage. And one approach to gaining advantage is to sow seeds of doubt in others. Have them carry the yoke of inferiority. It is a subtle dark art and its practitioners are masterful.

As the generation of African Americans late joining the ranks of the accomplished, we harbor at times a deep-seated fear that maybe we are not up to the task. We worry privately that we will be exposed as unqualified to play on the same field with those who have sat comfortably in halls of power, money and influence for generations. The wolves can smell that fear and frequently play to it with carefully laid hints and traps. I have seen many talented African American professionals eaten by this game, or seen them migrate to “safer” more comfortable jobs. It is a game designed to put you in a non-threatening role. It can be a high-class version of the plantation south, where folks get along well as long as they stay in their appropriate place in the established order.

I heard my father say it first: “Refuse to play in the baby pool.” With regard to his race he counsels, “I do not worry about my race. I make race the other guy’s problem. I have no interest in playing on the minor league field. I want to play on center court. If you are going to win, you are going to have to beat me there.“

This is more than bravado. It is a challenge to others to treat you fairly and let them know you are wise to the inferiority game. It is also a challenge to yourself to be excellent and not to allow others to move you to perform off Broadway, or accept comfortable consolation prizes. In life it is easiest to beat yourself. One cannot allow others to quietly escort you to the practice squad by playing on your insecurities and personal doubts. You may feel more cozy and safe there, but you will be denied your full potential and your chance at doing great things. Games are won and lost, but demand to test against the very best.