The Bermuda Triangle of HR - Employee Relations, Part 1

"The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil's Triangle, is a loosely defined region between Florida, Bermuda, and Puerto Rico in the southwestern North Atlantic Ocean where a number of aircraft and ships have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. The idea of the area as uniquely prone to disappearances arose in the mid-20th century, but most reputable sources dismiss the idea that there is any mystery."

My hyperfixation on Employee Relations began within my first year of working in HR. At barely 19 years old I had been promoted from "Special Projects Assistant" to "HR Administrative Assistant" (and moved from 1099 to W2) in six months.

I spent those first six months creating document retention SOPs, an organizational system for the Head of HR's files, and scribing all of her executive meetings. I shared an office with three other HR professionals much more senior than me, and I listened like my life depended on it to every word that came out of their mouths.

As I listened, I heard the inner-workings of an HR department and ate every crumb that fell my way so I could be educated by these people. They were who I wanted to become, and I revered their knowledge in a way that made them feel safe mentoring me.

It's incredible to reflect back on baby Kayla who knew even then that HR's life does depend on our ability to listen to every word people say. The approach I took then is the exact same approach I take today, which is why I have found such purpose and success in Human Resources.

What I have heard from thousands of business and HR professionals throughout my short career is that Employee Relations is the pit of hell you don't want to find yourself in. Even as I began to specialize in ER, taking my career in the path of Director and VP of Employee Relations for several companies, the sentiment from leaders about Employee Relations was the same.

There is always a wary tone, a near mystification of what happens when you are forced to travel through an ER situation. It's almost this unspoken understanding that you could wade into the waters of Employee Relations and never come out again.

It is clear to me that the majority of leaders see Employee Relations as the Bermuda Triangle of HR; it's this loosely defined region where a number of people have disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

I'm here to say it doesn't have to be this way anymore, friends.

Clearing Up the Conspiracy Theories

Now I love a good conspiracy as much as the next Millennial, however conspiracy theories have no place within organizational leadership practices. Being an employer must be viewed as a sacred privilege instead of a profit-making system, which means we can't waste time on conspiracy theories when we're honoring this privilege.

Much like the Bermuda Triangle, Employee Relations has been explained away by conspiracy theories that end up creating a narrative that is harmful, fear-inducing, and frankly inaccurate.

When HR professionals avoid Employee Relations out of this mystified fear, an entire organization of people begin to view Employee Relations in the same light. This always results in more lawsuits, lower employee satisfaction, and higher turnover.

This edition of Let There Be Growth is an olive branch from ER to you; it is an effort to sail you into the heart of the Bermuda Triangle just so you can learn you have nothing to fear.

What is Employee Relations?

The "definition" of ER (or lack thereof) is a contributing factor to the function's overall lore. Awful organizations like SHRM have half-heartedly attempted to define this function which is why so many leaders do not actually know what Employee Relations is.

The definition I've come up with over the last decade+ is always evolving, however my definition of Employee Relations today is:

“The function that creates and/or maintains the legal, behavioral, and emotional agreement between employers and employees. ER functions are responsible for managing how organizations transparently nurture their culture and maintain healthy, lawful relationships that align with the company’s values and its workforce by providing proactive and reactive support.”

At its core, Employee Relations is navigating the complex relationships employees have with us as their employer. Note: these relationships include HR professionals as employees in their own right even though they are the stewards of employer relationships simultaneously.

Those relationships are regulated by local and federal laws, company policy, and organizational culture. Where most organizations fail is when they create company policy and organizational culture without the lens of proactive employee relations.

We must start from the beginning of what ER is in order to provide this as a lens leaders can use to grow their organizations. That means we've got to remove the secrecy behind this function and unveil what ER actually is, and more importantly, what it is not.

Confidential Does Not Equal Secretive

A few years ago I was in a confidential meeting with many cross-functional leaders discussing the potential of an IPO. We were in person and in a conference room on the third floor of the campus. About 15 minutes into the meeting a Global VP of Sales opened the door and said, "I need Kayla for an urgent matter."

All eyes turned to me, and everyone was quiet. It was like I was the captain of the boat in that moment and we were just told we were headed right for the Bermuda Triangle.

I remember smiling at the GVP and saying, "Well that sounds ominous. I know whatever you have going on is confidential and urgent, so before I pack up and leave this meeting, would you mind giving an overview of the issue without saying the names of anyone involved?"

Like a movie, the entire room shifted their eyes to the GVP of Sales. He said, "I don't think that's appropriate" in a cautionary tone, and I knew everyone but me was absolutely mystified by a completely unknown issue.

My response came out confident, firm, and kind. I said, "Tim, there is a difference between confidential and secretive. I'm asking you to give a brief, confidential overview so everyone in this room can breathe easier and concentrate on this meeting. If we leave without giving them a generalized picture of what is so important that I need to leave right now, their imaginations will be forced to come up with a scenario that I know is worse than what's waiting for us."

With a shrug the CEO chimed in by saying, "She's right Tim, no need to fight it." That shrug was the same one I gave the CEO each time he trusted the HR process and it worked out despite his concerns ??

Tim said in an exasperated tone, "One of my sales reps told another sales rep that she's sleeping with her director. Both of them are married, but not to each other."

I remember smiling when I saw everyone's eyebrows raise but shoulders relax.

"Thank you, Tim. I love a good workplace affair accusation, it's one of the oldest in the book! The worst thing that can happen is that we have to fire people for this, which is an unfortunate but finite function of leadership. The best thing that can happen is I find the source of a rumor. Either way, I got you."

The entire room came back to life as I started to pack up. People joked, got comfortable in their seats again, and got back to work. Tim held the door open for me and said "thank you" in a genuine way. The world kept spinning because someone was able to draw the line between confidential and secretive.

Secrets are kryptonite to workplace trust, and without trust we are unable to maintain healthy relationships with employees throughout their lifecycle with us.

Secrets breed conspiracy theories like the Bermuda Triangle, which is why HR and business leaders must learn the difference between confidential and secretive.

The First Step - Consistency

The first step in creating an effective and proactive Employee Relations practice is committing employees at every level of the organization to a significantly consistent ER experience.

That consistency does not just include disciplinary practices, however. Consistency applies to shared language, communication strategies, and all employment processes. In this week's edition, we'll be chatting through Shared Language.

Shared Language

What is the difference between an investigation and an inquiry? What ER complaints require an investigation and which ones do not? What's an executive summary and is it different based on recipient? What is a complainant? What does substantiated mean?

There are a million HR terms being thrown around during a highly emotional situation, and it isn't logical to expect everyone to be on the same page without knowing what's being said.

Every company I work for receives a PDF list of "ER Terminology and Definitions" within my fist 30 days. Employees receive this list during new hire onboarding, and anyone involved in an ER situation gets a copy of these terms again. This doc is also distributed to all people managers as well as everyone on the HR team, and the results of this one simple doc are always powerful.

People are on the same page more often, legal terms aren't being misused in written communication, and no one is left guessing what is actually happening. I repeat myself less often, managers feel informed, and employees know what to expect when they hear these terms. Everyone has the right language to express what is happening which gets us to the heart of the matter faster and with more accuracy.

The first step in your ER growth journey must be creating your own shared language and distributing it throughout the organization. Collaborate with your HR colleagues, legal, and other trusted advisors. Review it annually, update it as needed, and commit to an extremely consistent use of these terms. I promise you this step alone is more than half the battle.

Next Time

Let There Be Growth's next edition will take a look at the remaining areas of consistency - communication strategies and employment processes.

Until then, I created several Employee Relations Toolkits to help you grow. Whether you use this resource or others, I can't recommend ER specific resources enough on this journey.

You aren't alone, I promise you won't get swallowed up in the Bermuda Triangle of HR, and it's time to lean into this crucial part of being an employer. Comment below a terminology and its definition once you've finalized your own ER Terminology doc!