The Benefits of a 1055km Ultra-Ironman

Earlier this year, I had the privilege (if you can call it that) of participating in the biggest triathlon in the British Isles - the Monster Triathlon. For a long time I had wanted to get to know Great Britain better since I was a citizen of the country. Therefore, I decided to know it as intimately as I could, with a 5km swim across Loch Ness, a 1000km cycle over five and a half days to Windsor Castle, concluded by a 50km Ultra-marathon to the centre of London. Less than forty people including myself would do the race, and I doubt that our condition by the end of it would encourage any future participants. While we mercifully had our hotels booked out as part of signing up for the adventure plus mechanical support in case our bikes gave out before our bodies did, those were about the only things that dulled the dread of what myself and my fellow Monsters, as we called ourselves, had undertaken.

Before the abomination of a week ahead of us began, I decided to have fun with it. Arriving in Inverness by plane and travelling by taxi to Loch Ness, I went to a store nearby and bought my companion for the week. I uninventably called him Nessie and promised that Nessie was coming to the finish line, even if he had to drag me there.

My companion in tow, (alongside the many people on this trip who legitimately are the only reason I finished), we went to Loch Ness where they did as much as they could to immediately make you regret your signing up for the event. I had foolishly failed to properly test my swimming gloves and they flew away like wayward birds in the water. I now had to swim in Loch Ness, I repeat, Loch Ness, with exposed hands. I was ultimately among the very few people in the two hour swim who completed the entire process (this was an event, not a race and thus non-completion was not disqualification) because swimming was my strongest suit of the three triathlon disciplines and if I couldn't get the first right then I knew I was in serious trouble. By the time I finished, my tongue could not move properly and so I couldn't effectively speak. However, I did see some bubbles coming up from beneath me during the swim, so maybe the real Nessie powered me on with her support.

Following that began the five and a half day extravaganza of going from Loch Ness, Scotland to Windsor, England with nothing but the power of my legs - and the GPS of the people I was riding with. The days were grinding, wet, and always hilly, but when the sun came out and you had time to stop and reflect, you came to appreciate the deep magic hidden deep in the hills and forests of old Britannia.

It certainly had its downsides too. In my foolishness, I didn't even realise my bike gears were not switching properly, leading to my tendons in my knees burning so bad that even to walk was torture. It led to my first ice bath, taken by asking the hotel bar for whatever ice they had so I could fling it in my bath while the cold water was running. I went to bed not feeling the lower half of my body, which was a great improvement over the pain I had previously been feeling. The rejuvenation I felt the next day and that I ultimately finished the cycle is probably the best possible advertisement for the benefits of ice baths I could imagine.

For five and a half days, we pushed down the roads, more than once fearing for our lives due to the madness of certain drivers. More than once the group had to stop due to one of our members suffering from reaching their mental limit. More than once a wrong turn was taken. More than once I thought that there was a solid chance I would not complete the course. I assured myself that I only had to finish the course for today and see how I felt that evening. I learned the power of asking yourself, in trying times, whether you can simply last that one more day. Because all the suffering we have in our lives is compounded by the thought it will be like this forever. But if we take that away, we realise that the pain we have right now if often more bearable than we take it for. With this thought in mind, we slowly but surely, slowly but surely crawled our way down England, before finally reaching Windsor Castle.

And with that, even though I still had more than a marathon to go, even though my body had never shivered and shuddered from the simplest movements like that before, even though I was among the last people to check in for the day, I was elated. I was elated because I knew I had survived what I thought impossible. While I had been good at swimming and running earlier in my life, cycling was always alien to me. That I could pull off what even great cyclists would never imagine doing rewrote my concept of what I could accomplish in my life. Then, the next day, as I almost pulled myself over the finish line with shattered feet, after doing the longest run (well, run-walk) in my life, I looked at the medal I was presented as if it was a licence to do anything I wanted on Earth. Also, Nessie got one too.

And so with that, when even walking itself seemed painful, I got help from a brave fellow warrior to be deposited at an AirBnB for the night to go to the airport the next morning. I relaxed on the plane, knowing I would soon be where I wanted to go ... Tanzania.

Yes, it may surprise you, but I didn't go home after doing the Ultra-Ironman, and I certainly didn't rest. Instead, I decided, due to convenience, to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa immediately after doing the longest triathlon in the British Isles. Not many people either in the Monster Triathlon or on Kilimanjaro believed what I was doing, but given how preciously I take my days off, I decided to combine as much as I could when I could. Just over two days after completing the course, I was hiking up Mount Kilimanjaro, my legs seemingly healing just enough to enable me to go without gritting my teeth. Of course, I brought Nessie along, determined to create the first Loch Ness Monster sighting on the Roof of Africa.

Believe it or not, it was actually pretty okay. We walked at a slow pace, I took Diamox because I wasn't going to be any sillier than I already was in doing this, and great camaraderie was struck between my fellow climbers. Kilimanjaro requires no technical knowledge and is essentially a hike. Admittedly, the final hike is something. We took the Whisky route (one of many routes) and began our fifth and final day of the climb at 11:30pm on Day Four. Through midnight, we walked up the final, snowy stretch of highest Africa, the rocks and terrain shifting below you along with the altitude and vanishing atmosphere. Wrapped under significant layers of clothes, we trudged upwards as I sang along with my guides - they appreciated my knowing and singing the non-Shakira version of 'Zangalewa'. Finally, after six hours of trudging upwards, we had made it in what looked like an alien landscape - the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. It was there the first known Loch Ness Monster on Uhuru Peak was recorded.

A trudge down the mountain ensued, followed by an eye-wateringly long list of flights back to Belfast. But I had done it - I had not only done the longest triathlon in the British Isles, but I had supplemented it with a climb of Mount Kilimanjaro. To bring this back to the original title of the article, there were a few things that I either learned or appreciated in greater depth following this adventure.

1. Throw yourself into it, even if you don't understand everything yet. I never found one task on this adventure where I was completely prepared, or as prepared as I would want to be. Many things I never even considered popped up. This is the normal and natural state of things. You may tell yourself that eventually you'll learn, but this is the open door to procrastination. Sign up, throw yourself in, and get the information you need by sheer necessity.
2. Never forget what you want. I didn't come into the Monster Triathlon wanting to knock out the land-speed record. Instead, I simply kept pace at the back, riding with the slowest people around because my goal was to eventually do Kilimanjaro as well, not get bragger's rights at the group dinner each night. My understanding what my goal was stopped me from doing any silly distractions.
3. Before you decide what you want - think bigger. No one had ever come out of the Monster Triathlon wanting to do anything but rest, but I decided it would linger more firmly in my memory if I decided to challenge myself that one step further. And so I did something that no one among my Monster Peers dreamed of doing, and I gave each event a collective meaning more than the sum of their parts.

It doesn't have to be triathlon, or sports where you embark on these adventures. It could be travel to a far flung part of the world, starting a family or starting a business. You have a blank page in front of you with a pencil waiting to go, and maybe there's even a stuffed dinosaur with a medal urging you onward as well.