Bench Front Seats
What Was Wrong with Them?
There were no child seats that I remember when I was a kid. I believe because of that, there was less driving like a bat out of hell with a toddler in the car.
Then came bucket seats. Soon came the front seat compartment. I guess the manufacturers were making it less romantic. You had to move to the backseat to smooch. What if you were on a double date? Which I hated.
Today’s cars aren’t for romance. ??
?? Designed for a tighter fit front and back
?? Separate seats in the front
?? Nowhere to put kid’s child seat
?? Not enough room to change from front to back inside
?? Childproof lock in back can make you a prisoner
I was kissing a woman in the front seat. I wanted to get closer, but that stupid compartment had us divided. Don’t suggest moving to the back seat. “I’m not that kind of girl.” ??
“Girl? You’re 35.”
End of that date. ??
?
What Can You Do in Today’s Cars?
But you can sleep in the front seat by adjusting it to lean back. I’d rather pay for a motel than be exposed like that.
You can text, talk, or watch softcore porn on TikTok. Crashing into another car in front or next to you. ??
You can use video cams to record police interaction, your own wreck, or as an extra rear-view mirror. ??
You can have safety features that alert you before or during a crash. ??
Most important, you can have tinted windows that hide when you give another driver the bird. ??
领英推荐
?
Progress is a Set-Back
Remember when the trunk could fit almost anything? Now you have to own an SUV or King Size Pickup Truck.
I missed when you could pile all kinds of stuff right next to you. You didn’t need a compartment. My mother would have her makeup kit, junk mail, and Aqua Net (tear gas) in short reach.
There were seat belts in three places, just like the back seat. You just shoved them inside the crevice for comfort.
Technology is Impersonal.
A man could slowly inch his woman closer to him. Creating romantic tension and tactful intimacy. But the space created between you seems greater than Hadrian’s Wall.
No more Blue Berry Hill. No more checking out the sights on Look Out Mountain. No more necking at the Car Wash. It’s the End of the World.
?
The Only Modern Upgrade Plus
The Moon Roof was the perfect invention. Forget the ragtop, which vandals can damage. This one invention gives you back a moonlit night.
That piece of romance still can be attained. ??
There is something about a moonlit night with the car lights off that brings in an intimate mood.
The next great innovation will be the ejector seat. When you find yourself with a psycho, just push a button. ??????
?
Not The Make or Model
Want to impress your date, especially if she is shy? Increase the performance of your car. Let her know that its emissions are cleaner. You get better gas mileage. And save money.
You’ll both have something to talk about. Or she’ll knock you out and steal your car.
Find out how to break the ice: