Belonging, Step 3: Talk Story

The challenge of belonging is that it can never be a solo endeavor. It takes others accepting us, and in return us accepting them. Building belonging is a mutual effort rooted in safety for all involved. Yes, creating safety begins with eliminating bullying, harassment, and discrimination. But for belonging to truly matter, it has to engender respect and honor for each other just as we are—a dedicated effort where I listen to you and you listen to me. For us to all belong, we need to take the time it takes to share, connect, and understand by talking story with one another.

I first learned about the practice of “talk story” while filming a series on the cultural practices of Hawaiian schools. Talk story is a time-honored practice where elders pass along wisdom by sharing their own histories, experiences, heritage, and beliefs. This tradition has carried cultural and practical knowledge through the generations, fostering a deep sense of belonging and community with the youth and adults alike. Through talking story, elders reinforce the understanding that life, learning, and love are interdependent. Individual success is grounded in a mutual commitment to the well-being of the greater whole. In Hawaiian culture, there is a collective recognition: life is challenging enough without having to face it alone.

My friend and colleague Jamie Almanzán introduced me to the power of story in learning. A recognized expert in how schools can build equal opportunity for all students, Jamie often emphasizes that the highest point of engagement in any learning environment happens when a story is being told. Facts, figures, processes, and rules can lull students of any age to sleep, but a good story personally told wakes up the room. Jamie knows this firsthand as he comes from a long tradition of story tellers whose roots trace back to what we now consider the US Southern border—as his grandma would often say, “I didn’t cross the border, the border crossed me!” By sharing his own story, Jamie creates space where others feel safe in sharing theirs. Mutually, they build trust and a sense of belonging because everyone’s story matters.

To talk story is a natural progression in the steps of belonging. It begins with Step 1, an invitation to join in by believing in each other’s triumphs and tribulations. From there, Step 2 builds a foundation of belonging by recognizing the inherent worth of every person, no matter how different they may seem from ourselves or the group. We then take Step 3: Talk Story, where we truly listen to one another—not just for our own self-interest, but with respect and honor for who we are, where we are from, and what we believe.

Curtis Linton, Founder - We All Belong Campaign

Up Next: Belonging, Step 4: Celebrate

The 10 Steps of Belonging:

Belonging, Step 1: "Believe Me"

Belonging, Step 2: "Inherent Worth of Every Person"

Belonging, Step 3: "Talk Story"

Belonging, Step 4: "Celebrate"

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