The Belonging Mindset: 5 Strategies to Feel at Home Anywhere
Daryl Gardner
The Mindset Architect | Speaker | Success Coach | Author | DEI Expert | Technologist | Entrepreneur
Belonging is a powerful driver of connection, success and well-being. It’s more than just fitting in—it’s about showing up authentically and feeling secure in who you are. Growing up, my mother instilled in me the belief that I belong everywhere I go and that has profoundly shaped how I navigate both my personal and professional life.
Recently, I was inspired by a conversation a few days ago that highlighted just how challenging it can be to feel a sense of belonging in spaces where diversity is lacking. Those discussions reminded me that, even when we’re the "different" ones in the room, there are ways to cultivate an internal sense of belonging that gives us the confidence to thrive.
In this newsletter, I’ll share 5 strategies you can use to develop a mindset of belonging, whether you’re entering a new work environment, navigating a social space or even embarking on a new chapter in life. These strategies will help you create a lasting sense of belonging, starting from within and extending outward into the spaces you occupy.
5 Strategic Steps to Strengthen Your Sense of Belonging
1. Carry Your Safe Space Within You
Belonging starts from inside by creating a mental and emotional home base. This is a place you can return to in times of stress, loneliness or disconnection. Carrying a "safe space" within you means nurturing self-compassion, acceptance and a deep understanding of who you are, regardless of external circumstances. It is especially powerful in environments where external validation is unlikely or where you might face hostility, discrimination or isolation. This concept of carrying your safe space is not just theoretical—it’s a survival mechanism for many.
My own mother, for example, grew up in the segregated South in Mississippi, where she had to develop an unshakable mindset of belonging just to survive. Despite being surrounded by hostile symbols like Confederate flags and "whites-only" signs that served as constant reminders of exclusion, she cultivated an internal sense of self-worth that transcended the physical space around her. She had to claim her humanity and her right to belong in a world that denied it to her every day. This inner belonging became her anchor.
As her child, born in Chicago, I was raised with that same foundation. My mother ensured I also developed a sense of belonging, not only through conversations but by immersing me in environments that tested it. So like clockwork, I spent every summer with my grandparents in Corinth, Mississippi, surrounded by remnants of those same symbols of exclusion. She was teaching me to walk with my head held high, grounded in the knowledge that my worth was not determined by the external circumstances around me. The “safe space” I carry within was a gift from her, a legacy of resilience and self-assurance that I’ve carried into every new situation.
This safe space becomes a source of stability, especially when you encounter situations where you might feel out of place. It is important to recognize that external validation or acceptance can be fleeting, but your inner sense of self will guide you through uncomfortable environments. Think of times you walked into a room full of strangers and felt isolated. Imagine being so grounded in your own identity that the external situation doesn’t shake your inner calm. That is the power of carrying your own safe space within you.
By continuously building this internal refuge, you allow yourself to face challenges with a sense of belonging that isn’t dependent on others. Your mind becomes a sanctuary and you carry this emotional refuge into any space you enter, bringing your authentic self with you.
Action Steps:
2. Engage Authentically with Others
Belonging isn’t just about being present in a group; it's about showing up as your true self. Authentic engagement means revealing the parts of yourself that are most vulnerable while also being open and curious about others. When we hide aspects of ourselves to fit in, we may achieve a superficial sense of belonging, but we lose the deep connection that comes from being genuine. Authenticity allows others to connect with you on a real level. Imagine sharing a personal story in a meeting that resonates with your colleagues or revealing a quirk about yourself to a new friend that strengthens your bond. These moments of openness create deeper connections because they are based on mutual trust and understanding. However, being authentic also requires courage. It’s risky to show your true self because you can’t control how others will respond. But this vulnerability is what fosters real belonging—when people accept and embrace you for who you really are, not who you think they want you to be.
Action Steps:
3. Create Your Circle of Belonging
We all need a circle of trusted people where we feel understood and supported. Building this circle starts with identifying individuals who align with your values and with whom you feel safe. These people lift you up, encourage your growth and offer unconditional support, especially during challenging times. Think about the most important relationships in your life. Do these people make you feel seen and heard or do you find yourself constantly seeking their approval? True belonging comes from relationships that are reciprocal, where there’s mutual respect and emotional investment. Whether it's friends, family or colleagues, belonging flourishes in relationships where there’s no need to wear a mask or pretend to be someone you're not. A strong inner circle also acts as a protective buffer against the isolating feelings that can arise from navigating larger, less familiar environments. When you know you have a core group of people to turn to, you’re more willing to take risks and step outside of your comfort zone.
Action Steps:
4. Seek Out Environments that Reflect Your Values
Feeling like you belong isn’t always about changing yourself to fit into a space—it’s often about finding spaces that align with your values, passions and goals. When you are in environments that resonate with your core beliefs, you feel a sense of harmony because the external environment mirrors your internal state. Imagine walking into a community group where everyone is working toward the same goals you care about or joining a professional network where your ideas and contributions are valued. This kind of alignment allows you to thrive because you don’t have to constantly adjust yourself to fit in. Instead, you can focus on being your best self because you are in a space that celebrates who you are. It’s important to actively seek out these environments rather than waiting for them to find you. This could mean joining a social group, switching jobs or even creating a community of your own. The more you surround yourself with spaces that reflect your true self, the more belonging you will feel.
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Action Steps:
5. Practice Empathy and Understanding
Belonging is a two-way street. While you seek to belong, others around you are seeking the same thing. Practicing empathy and offering understanding to others is a powerful way to create a sense of belonging, not just for yourself but for everyone you encounter. When you actively listen to someone’s experiences, share in their challenges or offer a kind word, you build bridges of connection. Empathy allows us to transcend differences and creates a safe space for others to feel seen and heard. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone, but by showing that you care about their perspective, you foster an environment of mutual respect and belonging. Think about a time when someone made you feel truly understood—it’s likely they were empathetic, listened without judgment and made you feel valued. Now, imagine being that person for others. Practicing empathy is a key tool for expanding your circle of belonging and reinforcing those bonds over time.
Action Steps:
Benefits of Cultivating Belonging
Let’s Put It to the Test: Your Weekly Challenge
Think about a space where you sometimes feel like you don’t belong. This could be a work environment, a social circle or even a new hobby group. Apply one of the strategies from above to this situation. How does it change your mindset? How does it affect your experience of belonging? Take a moment to reflect on the outcome.
?? Remember, developing a sense of belonging isn’t about changing yourself to fit into spaces; it’s about carrying your sense of worth and value with you wherever you go. It’s about knowing that you belong because you are enough as you are. By applying these strategies, you can cultivate a mindset of belonging that allows you to navigate any space with confidence, resilience and authenticity.
Join the Conversation! How have you cultivated a sense of belonging in your life?
?? Share this newsletter with someone who could use these strategies.
?? Connect with me on LinkedIn and let’s talk about how belonging has shaped your experiences.
?? Missed a past edition? Catch up on previous newsletters for more mindset-building strategies.
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Exciting News Coming Soon! I'm excited to share that I’m in the final stages of completing my book, 13 Power Principles of a Successful Mindset! Along with this, I'll soon be launching a series of online courses for those eager to dive deeper into the topics I explore with my coaching clients.
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Stay tuned for updates on both the book release and these transformative courses!