Belonging – 3 practical ideas to help you build belonging at work (and a big bonus tip to help you at home)

Belonging is the lifeblood of every relationship.

There’s no getting around it.

If we don’t feel like we belong, we won’t feel safe. If we don’t feel safe, it’s impossible to build a connection.

This is why shoring up a foundation of psychological safety in your relationships (at work and at home) is vital. It's the key to connection to creating an environment where you can be true to yourself.

With this in mind, here are three practical ideas to help build belonging at work and one big one to help you at home.

1 – A new take on performance management

Interestingly, the performance management process is one place where you can build a real sense of belonging in your team.

This might seem a little counter-intuitive at first glance. After all, few people think of belonging when they hear the words “performance management”…

However, the performance management process really is the ideal vehicle for embedding a belonging culture. When done well, the performance management process balances the employee's needs with those of the organisation through structured, one-to-one conversations. Consequently, you establish two-way accountability that creates a sense of mutual “buy-in”.

Balance is crucial here – all too often, performance management is about what the employee can do for the organisation, what the employee needs to do to improve, and so on. To create that safe space that inevitably results in belonging, you need to be abundantly clear that the process is just as much about what the organisation can do for them.

Be sure to include questions like...

"What more can we do to help you succeed?"

and,

“How can I help you?”

...in every performance management conversation. Then, when you get your answers, include them in the action plan alongside the goals and objectives you set for the employee.

2 – Onboarding that goes the extra mile

First day nerves.

We all have them.

And by "we", I mean the new starter, their manager, and the team.

It’s easy to focus all of your attention on the new starter – no bad thing. But, in doing so, you miss an excellent opportunity to re-engage and re-invigorate the rest of your team.

Whilst they may not be as nervous as the new starter, they might be feeling a little out-of-sorts. A new starter means, at the very least, a slight change to the social dynamics. However, if this new starter is stepping in at a critical moment or taking a more senior or leading role in the team, a sense of wariness in your colleagues is only natural.

So, the question is, how do you mitigate this and reassure everyone that they’re safe and that they belong?

Simple.

Get everyone involved.

If you’re managing a team, you needn’t do all of the onboarding activities.

Of course, there will be tasks that only you can do. But beyond that…

…delegate!

Get their new colleagues to show them around, give one of your more trusted team members responsibility for answering little queries.

Nothing says safety and belonging more than a collaborative, whole-team effort to welcome someone new.

3 – Remember the little things

Everyone likes to feel appreciated for their hard work.

Obviously, we can’t have a huge celebration every time someone goes the extra mile, but we can (and should) recognise it.

The importance of this is twofold:

First, without fair recognition and appreciation, there's no incentive to do those little extras. As much as we'd like for our colleagues to go above and beyond even if there's no reward for doing so, most people simply aren't that altruistic. And even if they are, it doesn’t take long for the “goodwill well” to run dry.

Second, public acts of thanksgiving like a mention at the team meeting or a monthly prize roster are, in effect, rituals. Rituals move us. And, even simple acts can profoundly affect the way we view the people around us. They make our "tribe" real and re-affirm mutual goals. A sense of safety and belonging is the natural by-product. From this place of security, your people will feel empowered to strike out and do their very best for the team and their colleagues.

Bonus – Your heartbeat at home

The relationship with your partner is, arguably, the most important in your life. And yet, it seems the majority – married or not – end before one (or both) parties want it to.

The reasons for this are legion, complicated, and well beyond the scope of this article.

However, they’re almost always rooted in one thing…

…belonging.

As I wrote above, belonging is the lifeblood of all relationships.

To take that metaphor one step further, think of your relationship with your partner as a body. When blood circulates, the organs can function, repair damage, and grow stronger. Without that blood, they soon start to struggle. If the organs are starved of blood for long enough, they die.

But how do you nurture a sense of belonging in your relationship, especially when you’re busy, stressed and otherwise distracted?

A little time, and a lot of focus.

It’s all about quality, not quantity.

If life means you can only have one evening a week together, so be it. However, you must make that evening all about your partner. Give them your total focus and energy – leave your phone in another room, switch off the television, and get involved in a shared activity.

These occasions are the beating heart of your relationship. This means they should be regular and unfailing, just like a heartbeat.

If you start to stutter in your commitment to them, their effectiveness will diminish. However, when they’re fixed and firm, belonging flows freely through your relationship, bringing resilience and connection with it.

Boost belonging to nourish your relationships

Creating a sense of belonging isn’t complicated, but it can be tough to do the things you need to do consistently.

However, that consistency is vital if you want to nurture a sense of safety and belonging.

At work, competing demands and other distractions make this a challenge, but it’s a challenge that can be overcome.

How?

With a robust performance management process that puts as much emphasis on your people as it does the needs of your organisation.

Planned, one-to-one check-ins that approach learning needs with compassion and celebrate achievements.

Learn how I can help you craft a process like this here.

Angela

Angela is the founder of Juicing the Lemon, a consultancy that helps businesses have the difficult conversations that are the key to a healthy, transparent workplace culture. Juicing the Lemon’s workshops and packages of learning are built on a firm foundation of research, delivered in a way that’s accessible to people at all levels of an organisation. Clients include Allied Bakeries, Silver Spoon, Twinings, Medicine San Frontier, and the NHS.