Believing in yourself

Believing in yourself

One must recognize his strengths since then he can be successful. R’ Yeruchem Levovitz[1] (1873- 1936) once remarked “woe to a man who is unaware of his faults as he is not attentive to what he needs to repair. But double woe is to he who doesn’t recognize his virtues since then he is unaware even of his tools.”[2] With this we can grasp a different meaning in ???? ??????? ????; the Tzadik lives through his faith, as the Tzadik has faith in himself,[3] meaning he recognizes the qualities Hashem bestowed upon him.[4] He is, therefore, able to withstand tests,[5] thereby becoming a Tzadik.[6]    

The Mishna[7] states in regard to battling Amalek that when we would look ???? ????; upward and subjugate ourselves to Hashem, we would prevail.[8] Another explanation given is that when we look ???? ????; at our ?????; good qualities, and are not seduced by the Yetzer Hara (represented by Amalek), then we will prevail.[9] We are instructed to greet everyone ???? ???? ????; a pleasant facial expression. These words literally translate to think (???) of the good qualities (????) inside (????) the person. This applies to ?? ????, as the Mishna says.[10] That is, even ourselves.[11]

               A man that was playing his violin at the subway had a violin case opened for 45 minutes while he was playing. During that time, 1,092 people passed by where only six people stopped and listened for a while. In total, he collected $32 in his case. Afterwards, it was revealed that this was Joshua Bell, one of the world’s greatest violinists and he was playing a violin that was worth $3.5 million. People just didn’t notice or take the time to listen. We must realize that everyone around us is like a Joshua Bell meaning everybody is important and special.[12]

A man named Avi who was in prison once complained to R’ Avraham Twerski upon his visit there how low he had sunk since he was in jail for many years for stealing even small amounts. R’ Twerski told him that before a diamond is made beautiful, it is covered in dirt. With some work removing the dirt, the hidden exquisite diamond within the mud is revealed. Likewise, we say ???? ???? ?? ????? ???; the soul you placed within me is pure. For many, this precious diamond is covered in the dirt of sin. This analogy invigorated Avi as he then went for therapy and later to a halfway house. When he was released, he joined the moving business. One day he was asked to move furniture to the halfway house since an elderly woman had left an inheritance for them. As he began to move the couch, an envelope containing 10,000 Shekel fell out. Although he was alone, he didn’t take the money.[13] R’ Twerski later told Avi upon hearing what happened ‘I know many respectable people that were never in prison, who would have pocketed the money in such a situation. Didn’t I tell you that we’d find a diamond?!’[14]

Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919) at one point had 43 millionaires working for him. When asked how he did that, he answered that they weren’t millionaires when he started. He then said that you develop people the same way you develop gold: you move a lot of dirt to find some gold. But you don’t go looking for the dirt. You go in looking for the gold.

When one believes in himself and the qualities Hashem endowed him with, he can become successful, ???"?. This applies in the spiritual realm as well as the physical realm.[15] Therefore, when one is instructed to start working,[16] he can use this quality[17] to become successful.[18] 

Even if one fails, he should use it as a springboard[19] to become greater.[20] Let failure only make you stronger and smarter.[21] This is in line with the adage “when one is given bricks, he should build bridges, not walls.”[22] Thomas Edison (who had many unsuccessful attempts before producing the lightbulb) once exclaimed I never failed, I just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.[23] “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”[24] “If you learn from your mistakes, failures become successes.”[25] Failure is part of the process of success.[26] People who avoid failure also avoid success. There is an expression, “The master has failed more times than the novice has even tried.” We need to bear in mind that we miss 100 percent of the shots we never take (so even if we are unsuccessful but at least we tried). Think about it. In 20 years from now, we will be more disappointed by the things we didn’t do[27] than by that which we did.[28] Hashem should direct us in all our endeavors!

Sara Blakely, who founded Spanx in her late 20s, made $4 million in sales in its first year and $10 million in its second year. In 2012, Forbes named her the youngest self-made woman-billionaire in the world. She talks about how, as a child, her father would sit her down at the dining room table and ask her the same question: "What did you fail at this week?" After telling him, his reaction was congratulations! Way to go! She said, “I didn't realize at the time how much this advice would define my future and my definition of failure. I have realized as an entrepreneur that so many people don't pursue their ideas because they were afraid of what could happen. My father taught me that failing simply just leads you to the next great thing.” (When something went unexpected, her father told her to write down the hidden gifts that you gained from this.) Her definition of failure became ‘not trying’ versus ‘the outcome.’ This is in contrast to others that don’t begin because they may fail.   

A person may see an old car and he sees that it’s all broken down and junky with a little touching up it will be worth so much more. So too with a person who looks down and out with a little touching up he can be a Gadol.

[1] He was a student of the Alter of Slobodka and R’ Simcha Zissel of Kelm. He became the Mashgiach in Radin by the Yeshiva of the Chofetz Chaim as well as in Mir. His students include R’ Wolbe, R’ Dovid Povarsky, R’ Aryeh Leib Malin, R’ Chaim Shmulevitz and R’ Shimon Shwab.

[2] Alai Shur 1, pg 169

[3] We need to internalize that whatever struggles we have, we are able to overcome them. When the Torah was offered to the non-Jews, they asked what it contains. However, when we were offered the Torah we just said ???? ????? without any questions. This is because if Hashem gave the Torah, we have the ability to do whatever it says. The same applies to the struggles we have as if we keep up our fight, we will eventually win.

[4] Rashi (Breishis 7:7) says that Noach was of those of little faith as he believed and didn’t believe that the flood would come. He didn’t enter the Teiva until the waters compelled him to. The Kedushas Levi (Noach, s.v. ??) is bothered how this could be if the Pasuk testifies he was a Tzadik, perfect in his generations? Also, why didn’t Noach daven to nullify the decree? He explains there are two types of Tzadikim. One is a Tzadik that serves Hashem and this is his only desire. He believes in the power he has to affect the upper worlds. This is just as it says Hashem decrees and a Tzadik can nullify it. Then there is a Tzadik that serves Hashem but is very low in his own eyes and he thinks who am I to daven to nullify a decree. He therefore doesn’t daven to nullify it. So although Noach was a big Tzadik, he was small in his own eyes and didn’t believe in himself to nullify a decree. He felt he was like everyone else in his generation. He thought if I will be saved and I am not more of a Tzadik than anyone else then they will also be saved. He therefore didn’t daven for them. Noach being of little faith means in himself that he can nullify a decree. In a similar vein, the Orach Lechaim (Noach, s.v. ????) writes that Noach didn’t believe in himself that he was a Tzadik and able to nullify the decree. Since he had this belief he therefore was actually unable to nullify it.

[5] Chavakuk 2:4. A very successful person who was extremely short was once asked how it feels to be a short man in a world of tall people? He sharply responded like a dime thrown in amongst nickels (American currency. The dime is worth double the nickel but the nickel is bigger and thicker.). Half the height but twice the value!

[6] Since we are a ??? ????-? ????; portion from Hashem, we have tremendous potential within us. Following the dictum ????? ?? ??? ?????; one’s agent is like himself (Kidushin 41b), we must realize that we have Godly powers within us with which we can accomplish an enormous amount.

[7] Rosh Hashana 29a. The saying goes “people aren’t afraid of how small they are, but how big they can become.”

[8] We must believe, as R’ Tzadok Hakohen (Tzidkas Hatzadik 154) writes, that we are from the source of life- Hashem- who takes pleasure and delight when we do His will.

[9] See ???? ??, Tetzave. R’ Zusha interprets (Tehillim 10:3) ?? ??? ??? ?? ???? ????; the wicked boasts of his heart’s desires… that when one has wrong humility saying I’m not so great- ??? ???- it is just to succumb to his desires- ?? ????? ????. We are told ????? ????; in the time prior to Moshiach, insolence will increase (Sota 49b). This can be utilized in our service of Hashem if used properly. That is, even if you just sinned, don’t listen to that voice telling you that you are a nobody and the like. Rather have Chutzpa and come close to Hashem (see Degel Machane Efraim, Eikev).

[10] Avos 1:15. In this light we can comprehend ??? ?? ?? ?? ???? ??? ????; judge everyone favorably (Avos 1:6). That is, even ourselves. In this way we can fulfill ...???? ?????; receive everyone cheerfully- including ourselves (Avos 3:16).

[11] We need to accept ourselves as we are now and see the good within us as in ??? ??? ???? ??? (Tehillim 37:10)- look a little deeper and you will see you are not so bad (see Likutai Moharan 281). A Chassid once told the Sefas Emes during Yomim Noraim that he doesn’t feel regret over his sins although he wished he did. The reply of the Sefas Emes: that is also a level.

[12] Someone once said, “The only person who doesn’t blow me away is the person I don’t know.”

[13] The children of the deceased decided to donate the money to the halfway house in memory of their mother. The story ends that when Avi went to the halfway house he put up a sign ‘the center for polishing diamonds.’

[14] To this we can apply “you don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

[15] It has been said, “The highest reward for man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.”

[16] An Avreich who was learning in Kollel for 10 years was instructed by his Rebbi to start working. His Rebbi told him that until now you had an excuse not to be learning two hours a day because you took your children to school, went to the grocery to shop and so forth. So now when you work, you should view it that you have an excuse to be away from the Beis Midrash for ten hours daily. However, at every free moment, you should be in the Beis Midrash.

[17] Is it any surprise that we see so much success by our people as even many unaffiliated Jews are successful. The following is a partial list: Ralph Lauren (Lifshitz), Calvin Klein, Howard Schultz (Starbucks), Michael Dell (Dell Computers), Benard Marcus (Co-founder of Home Depot), Isidor Strauss (Macy’s co-founder), Michael Bloomberg, Bill Rosenberg (Dunkin Donuts), Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison, Craig Newmark, Mark Cuban. This trait is in our genes. We are less than half of one percent of the world’s population but we have consistently made up more than twenty percent of the Forbes 400 list of the worlds richest people. It is not just making money that a disproportionate amount of Jews seem to excel at. Thirty percent of Nobel Prize winners in science are Jewish, and major Hollywood studios, like Paramount Pictures and Universal Studios, are also run or owned by Jews. In virtually every industry successful Jews are disproportionally represented. It has been said that the phenomenon of being disproportionally successful in every arena of endeavor is of little wonder since Jews have studied the greatest book of wisdom ever written- the Torah. Even those who do not actively study the Torah still benefit from its wisdom in the form of attitudes and teachings that Jewish parents and communities teach and pass down, albeit mostly without being aware that they originate from the Torah.

[18] Of course this is provided that this is what Hashem wants. We can only put forth our effort as Hashem runs the world according to nature (see Sefer Hachinuch, Mitzva 546).  

[19] The saying goes “there is no failure except in no longer trying.” “It’s not how low you fall, but how high you bounce back that counts.”

[20] “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

[21] Natural Pearls form when an irritant- usually a parasite- works its way into an oyster, mussel, or clam. As a defense mechanism, a fluid is used to coat the irritant. Layer upon layer of this coating, called 'nacre', is deposited until a lustrous pearl is formed. So, a pearl is formed from rough times! Indeed, ???????; pearls is a contraction of ?? ????; a revelation from the bitter since a pearl comes to being through irritation.

[22] A successful person once remarked that it is fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.

[23] This, of course, applies to spirituality as well as if we didn’t have a good Rebbe, if we failed in learning when we were younger or the topics of learning didn’t speak to us, we can just think these are the ways that didn’t work for me. We must keep searching until we find what is good for us.

[24] When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel. Many great inventors and successful entrepreneurs had many failures before they were considered a success. Here are some of them: Soichiro Honda was passed over for an engineering job at Toyota and left unemployed. But then he began making motorcycles, started a business and became a billionaire. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper (Kansas City Star) editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Several more of his businesses failed before the premiere of his movie snow white. R. H. Macy had seven failed businesses including a dud Macys in New York City. But he kept up the hard work and ended up with the biggest department store in the world. Albert Einstein didn’t speak until the age of 4 and didn’t read until 7. His teachers labeled him slow and mentally handicapped. He later won the Nobel peace prize in physics. The first book of Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, was rejected by 27 different publishers. His books have sold over 600 million copies. Henry Ford’s first auto company went out of business. He abandoned a second because of a fight and a third went downhill due to declining sales. He went on to become one of the greatest American entrepreneurs. While developing his vacuum, Sir James Dyson went through 5,126 failed prot0ypes and his savings of over 15 years. But the 5,127th worked and now the Dyson brand is the best-selling vacuum cleaner in the United States. He is now worth an estimated $4.9 billion. Colonel Harland David Sanders was fired from dozens of jobs before founding a fried chicken empire. He traveled across the United States looking for someone to sell his fried chicken. After finally getting a business deal in Utah, Kentucky Fried Chicken was born. KFC is now one of the most recognizable franchises in the world, with over 18,000 locations. J.K. Rowling was a single mother living off welfare when she began writing the first "Harry Potter" novel. Rowling is now internationally renowned for her seven-book Harry Potter series and, in US currency, became the first billionaire author in 2004. 

[25] Failure inspires winners and defeats losers.

[26] The more failures one has, the closer he is to success (if he learns from those failures).

[27] We can apply this to spiritual matters as well as we should jump on the opportunity to be in the proximity of extraordinary people, learn Torah with special people, daven with Tzadikim, share Torah thoughts with others (public speaking and the like) and so on.

[28] So, as someone once said, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.