Believe

“My name is Son Pham and I would love to work for your company.”

I just finished and submitted another application to a full-time position in an agency. A personalized application. And if I’m honest, I’m exhausted, because I put so much effort in to that. I said in my application that I’ve written the cover letter with my heart and my soul, and I meant it. They say third time’s the charm but is this the thirteenth? Thirtieth? Not sure. But definitely not over a hundred. Can you imagine?

Who knows me knows that I have been trying to be optimistic, a half glass full person. I’m hopeful for the future. I used to live for others’ acceptance “Go play some football, any boy has to play football” then I ended up being a goalkeeper. Well I guess you have to fake it until you make it. Ghastly. I used to be that kid who makes my parents so much proud of me by achieving what they want “Get the highest score in that exam and earn that first prize” and I also used to be a victim of bullying “If you don’t change the way you walk, you’ll get beaten up tomorrow” (oh just because the way I walk was not considered masculine enough and you know boys that age can be cruel). But I didn’t live for myself, and what’s the point of that life? So, I understand the value of being happy and being positive.  I’ve been trying to enjoy my life through a more optimistic lens, doing what I love and being who I am, but saying that sometimes I’m not a bit deflated or disappointed recently is an absolute lie. One pandemic at a time, the other pandemic, after graduate, is gradually getting to me. 

I sent out a lot of CVs and Cover Letters to companies and agencies that I feel like my experience might be a good fit for them, or at least I think so. Deliberately apply for particular recruitment posts of some companies or just general applications to agencies I’m absolutely in love with their work and their core values, asking if they have any available role at the moment. I’ve been not successful. Of all my applications, there are two emails replying saying “Thanks for your email, you clearly put a lot of thought into it so we appreciate that!” Even it made my day. Even though I did a lot of research about the place I’m going to apply, took notes in my handbook, analysed what should be mentioned, spent hours tailoring the CV and Cover Letter, still no replies. I understand that my visa related matter might put them off, but before bothering them with my applications, I already checked on the Government website if the company does have that particular policy for international students.

Is there anything wrong with my CV or Cover Letter? Maybe. After time and time asking so many people about their opinions of my CV and Cover Letter (personalized for the agency I dream of working with), I came up with the pair which I think is good. I sent it to a Senior Account Manager at a fantastic agency, a Group Planning Director of a global agency, an Associate Director of an in house comms team (when I accidentally saw their posts on LinkedIn that they’re happy to look at CV and Cover Letter to help out recent graduates during the pandemic, and I literally made the most of those opportunities to set up a call or chat with them), they gave me some feedback then saying that “I’m impressed with your CV and Cover Letter, you clearly show that you are very proactive. I hope you can secure a job in the future”. 

I hope they do mean it. I really do. 

I sent them to this person who is quite well known in the industry. He told me to anglicize my name. I’ve never told this to anyone except one of my friends. I was obviously shocked, but I do know that he didn’t mean it in the bad way. He has supported me so much and I’m grateful for that. But still. “Sometimes they just don’t accept a strange name, especially in this industry. I know a girl who used to be like you but she can’t get a job when putting her original name on CV, but when she changed her name, everything became easier with her. 

Is it even true? Should I change my name for acceptance?

Now it seems like dreams become debacles just because of my name? I know that I have to learn so many things to be better and better every day, that I’m not good, that maybe I got the potential, but sometimes I do think, even just for tik tak, what if I changed my name as suggested? I’m glad I didn’t. Coming from Vietnam where you don’t see that problem of race and ethnicity, I still know of being under-presented, of being that only person in the room, and of being in the minority group, that’s why I always fight for what they say equality and inclusion. Even if I haven’t received any reply email, I’ll keep knocking on every door till one opens and welcomes me proudly.  I will always keep that spirit. 

Anyone see this post, I do hope you can offer to run through my CV and Cover Letter and my portfolio, so that I can improve myself. Not becoming Michelle Obama, but becoming better than I used to be yesterday. 

I understand that companies “commit to offering equal opportunities to all potential employees and have zero tolerance for discrimination, to being an equal opportunity employer and welcoming, applicants irrespective of age, sex, race, ethnicity, disability and other factors that have no bearing on an individual’s ability to perform their job”, I do hope that we all walk that walk of offering that equal opportunity, of appreciating the efforts that applicants put in, and I’m sure you won’t get beaten up like I used to be. 

Oh "Believe" is one of my most favorite songs of all times, and I do believe.