Beliefs – journeying through the mind’s maze

I’ve been working with a beautiful client on beliefs and was just preparing for a session with her for next week. It got me thinking about how I can explain beliefs in a simple way; there’s so much overwhelming leadership material and I find there can be confusion around topics like this when it’s not your day job.

I started thinking about one of my beliefs which is a simple one. When I listen to Irish music (currently have Snow Patrol, the Coronas and the Cranberries playing - 90’s chick lol) – and when this music comes on, something in me changes. I start to dance and become animated, and I desperately want to express myself as I feel so much energy and love course through my body. What’s that about? Well, it’s in my DNA, the land of my birth, the land of ‘saints and scholars’ and I believe the field is connected and I’m tuning into that. It’s such a wonderful feeling of liberation; it’s egoless, it’s fluid and it’s peaceful and happy. So, I have a belief that when I listen to Irish music, my physiology changes.

Now interestingly, as I write this, I feel amazing and then as I think about posting this on LinkedIn, I notice my self-judgement come in and my fear of what will people think? All my life I’ve been called and not limited to: ‘the feelings chick’, ‘Sue brings the woo woo’ etc. etc. and I held deep shame about that for so long. Like, was I not good enough? Are feelings not worthy and important? No more. The world needs us to feel, DESPERATELY. ?

From the recent wars I’ve been tuning into; the small contribution I’ve made through listening to people displaced; the fear that’s palpable in their bones. The killing of innocent people in Bondi Junction – the one that broke me was Ash Good who handed her baby over saying ‘save her’ as she was dying herself. ?The love of a mother. The priest who was stabbed the following night and prayed over the perpetrator immediately after – unconditional love in action. What role models and what a tragedy that we have to experience events like this to get in touch with our souls.

For the past few years though I’ve been so buoyed and metaphorically held by three people in my life; Marguerite Wetton who is a wise, beautiful psychotherapist, but more than that she is alchemy walking. Amy Elizabeth Fox, the CEO of Mobius, whose writings and teachings are inspirational. She is a woman of integrity, passion and what feels like fearlessness to me. I am so grateful for her recent writings especially and so proud to play a small part in the wonderful Mobius community and Thomas Hubl, who I had the pleasure to be supervised by who really taught me a lot about the true power of love, attunement and the present moment.

Our beliefs matter. If we believe for example, an eye for an eye, do we understand the implications that the whole world would eventually be blind? We are all currently blinded by our beliefs, brainwashed by the systems that wanted us controlled. It is time my dear friends to free our minds.

What are beliefs?? Beliefs are our convictions ; they are our brain’s way of making sense of the world. How are beliefs developed? Well, there are many layers here. Let me just name a few. Our geography, our families, our peers, our early experiences.

?I’ll share a story to illustrate one way beliefs can be formed. My Dad came from a very wealthy family; governess, nanny, tennis lessons; four out of five children went to university. This was Catholic Ireland in the 1930’s and 1940’s – this would have been highly unusual at the time. My Dad was the one in the family who didn’t go to university. His Mother wanted to set him up in business and my Dad couldn’t do it. You see, he had developed a belief that he ‘wasn’t good enough’ or worthy enough to do this. He was bullied as a child, and I believe that hindered his love of himself. His Dad died when he was five, so he didn’t have a strong male role model and his mother was in inconsolable grief, losing her husband who was 39 and being left with 5 small children to care for. Then, long story short her financial advisor stole her money. So, then my Dad developed a belief that the world wasn’t safe, and people could not be trusted. He used to worry about his children and would tell us stories to this affect. On the flip side of that, my Dad developed a beautiful, kind heart and he learnt to protect the women in his life; and he played the same role with my sister and I. That meant I grew up with a very strong male role model; I’ve always been very lucky with the men in my life; whether they’re romantic partners, friends, or clients and I believe that’s because I chose to take my Dad’s protection and kindness but I rejected his belief that people couldn’t be trusted. That didn’t fit for my experiences.

Our beliefs become us and we can find it hard to change them. I couldn’t say it better than the late great Daniel Kahneman says “For some of our most important beliefs, we have no evidence at all, except that people we love and trust hold these beliefs. Considering how little we know, the?confidence?we have in our beliefs is preposterous—and it is also essential.”

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Things to reflect on:

What were your earliest childhood experiences and what beliefs did you form as a result?

Who were the key influences in your life; what were their beliefs and what did you inherit?

How do you discern what’s true and not true for you?

How do you stay open to others’ beliefs and to changing yours?

What’s important for you to stay true to?