Being Yourself or Belonging: Two Paths to Growth

I recently came across a speech by Japanese actress Kasumi Arimura (有村架純) for a surprise appearance at a high school graduation. In her speech, she shared the following advice to the students:

「ありがとう」の数だけ、人は優しくなる。 「ごめんね」の数だけ、人は賢くなる。 「さようなら」の数だけ、人は愛を知る。

This can be roughly translated as:

For every “thank you”we say, we become kinder. For every “I'm sorry” we say, we become wiser. For every “goodbye” we say, we learn more about love.

Kasumi Arimura’s Relational View

Kasumi Arimura's words reflect a worldview where personal growth and wisdom are cultivated through interactions with others. Gratitude, humility, and love are developed not in isolation, but through relationships. This reflects the deeply embedded values of many Asian cultures, where personal identity is seen as closely tied to one’s role within a family, community, or society. In these cultures, success is often measured by how one contributes to the collective good, and happiness is found through fulfilling one’s obligations to others.

Arimura’s quote highlights the importance of human connections, emphasizing that life’s most profound lessons are learned through relationships. This interdependence aligns with the values of many Asian cultures, where the group is prioritized over the individual, and personal fulfillment comes through contributing to the well-being of others.

Taylor Swift’s Embrace of Individualism

In contrast, Taylor Swift , one of the most talented American singer-songwriter, often champions the essence of Western individualism. In one of her well-known quotes, she advises, "Just be yourself, there is no one better." This quote reflects the emphasis placed on self-acceptance and authenticity in Western cultures. Swift encourages her fans to embrace their individuality and reject external expectations, promoting personal empowerment and self-expression.

In the Western context, Swift’s message underscores the belief that personal fulfillment comes from within and that individuals are responsible for creating their own path in life. This approach places value on independence, self-reliance, and the freedom to pursue one’s own desires, even if it means standing apart from others. In business and everyday life, confidence and self-expression are seen as crucial for success.

In the business world, there has even been a growing trend to move away from apologizing excessively and instead use more empowering phrases, such as “Thank you for your patience” or “I appreciate your flexibility.” This shift highlights the emphasis on projecting confidence and maintaining control in professional and personal interactions, in contrast to the humility often valued in Asian cultures.

Finding Balance and Embrace Both

The contrast between Swift’s and Arimura’s perspectives encapsulates a broader cultural difference. These differences have practical implications. In the Western world, decisions about careers or life paths are often made based on personal interests and ambitions. In many Asian cultures, however, such decisions are frequently influenced by family expectations and societal responsibilities.

While these worldviews may seem at odds, they offer complementary insights. Taylor Swift’s focus on individuality reminds us of the importance of self-care and self-empowerment, even within a collective society. Meanwhile, Kasumi Arimura’s words highlight the value of relationships and the wisdom that comes from understanding one’s role within a community.

As an individual, we all have to find our own value and who we are in this increasingly globalized world where cultures mix and influence one another. There is an opportunity to embrace both perspectives. We can learn to balance the freedom of self-expression with the responsibility we owe to our communities, recognizing that personal happiness and collective well-being are interconnected and can be pursued simultaneously. Leadership is about knowing that we are all different and the world is better place by embracing the differences. Leadership is also about knowing when to be humble and when to assert our power and value, for ourselves and the people we lead.

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