BEING THERE FOR YOUR TEEN – THE SIMPLE ART OF “HOLDING SPACE” (PART 2)

Imagine you have a backpack. In this backpack, you carry lots of things – like feelings, thoughts, and moments from your day. Sometimes, the backpack gets full, and it feels heavy.

Now, let's say your friend wants to share something with you. It's like they have a little gift to put in your backpack. But here's the reality: if your backpack is already super full, there's no space for their gift. So, what do you do? You find a quiet spot, open your backpack, and take some things out. You empty it a bit, creating space for your friend's gift.

Now, think of your feelings and thoughts as those things in your backpack. When you empty some out, it's like making room for new things – for what your friend wants to share with you. That's what we mean when we say emptying yourself is a sign of readiness.

Being ready means having space for what others want to give you – whether it's a happy story, a worry, or just a moment to share. So, when you take a moment to empty your backpack, you're saying, "I'm ready for whatever you want to share with me!" And in this beautiful exchange of feelings and thoughts, you and your friend get to connect, share, and support each other.

Imagine you and your teenager each have a magical backpack. Every day, this backpack holds all sorts of things – the ups and downs, the laughter, and maybe a bit of stress too. Now, your teenager comes home from school/college, and their backpack looks heavy. It's filled with the happenings of their day – maybe a tough test, a funny story, or something that's been bothering them.

As a parent, you want to be there for your teen. You want to be a part of their day, help with the heavy stuff, and make space for the good things. But here's the reality: if your backpack is already brimming with your own day, there's not much room to take in what your teen wishes to share.

So, what can you do?

Emptying the backpacks is an art, it’s a skill. And developing this skill of emptying your emotional backpack is like adding a superpower to your parenting toolkit. Here are some practical steps for parents to cultivate this skill:

Developing the skill of regularly emptying one's emotional backpack can be challenging, influenced by various external and internal factors. Here are some common reasons that I have been tracking from my mentoring sessions why parents may struggle with this skill:

In my sessions with parents, a common story comes up repeatedly—the story of missed moments. No matter where they're from or what they're going through, this seems to be the root of many challenges in their relationship with their teen. Parents often share how the rush of daily life, work pressures, and just trying to keep up, end up drowning out the chances to really connect.

As they talk, you can feel the regret in their voices. They knew how important it was to be there for their teens, but in the hustle and bustle, they missed the beat. Understanding the importance of holding space didn't always translate into doing it. Each parent confides, sharing small moments they wish they could go back to—a glance they didn't catch, a conversation put off, or a shared moment lost in the chaos.

This isn't unique to one family—it's a common struggle with most parents, including myself. ?Parents agree that there's a gap between knowing they should connect and doing it. We talk about breaking this cycle of missed moments and making intentional efforts to connect every day. It's not just about understanding; it's about taking steps to transform regrets into positive actions.

KEY TAKEAWAY:

Parents need to be aware of the emotional backpack they carry and understand that it directly influences their interactions with their teens. Recognizing the weight of unresolved emotions is the first step towards fostering a healthier relationship.

Acknowledging that external and internal challenges may hinder the development of the skill of emptying the emotional backpack is crucial. External factors like a demanding work environment or internal factors such as fear of vulnerability can pose obstacles that need to be consciously addressed.

Despite challenges, parents should see the process of emptying their emotional backpacks as a journey of personal growth. Overcoming external and internal obstacles becomes an integral part of not only improving their own well-being but also creating a positive space for meaningful connections with their teens.

YOUR VOICE MATTERS:

“I invite you to share your reflections and insights. Feel free to respond to the reflective prompts given below. Your experiences may inspire and resonate with others. Let's learn and grow together!”

“Part 3 of this insightful topic is on its way, bringing more valuable insights and practical tips. If you resonate with the content and find it valuable, kindly consider sharing your views and experiences in the comment section, giving a like, sharing it forward and subscribing to my newsletter. Your encouragement fuels this space, and I appreciate each one of you. Thank you for being part of this community!"

REFLECT AND ELEVATE:

For External Factors:

1)????? ?Am I sacrificing my emotional well-being in the relentless race against time? What if reclaiming moments for self-care becomes my most powerful investment?

2)????? Who's witnessing my silent struggles? Am I navigating parenthood alone, or is it time to strengthen bonds and build a support system that understands my journey?

3)????? Is financial stress weighing down my emotional freedom? What if transforming my relationship with money becomes the key to unlocking financial stability and emotional well-being?

For Internal Factors:

1)????? Am I hiding behind a mask of strength, fearing the power of vulnerability? What if unveiling my true self becomes the catalyst for profound connections and personal growth?

2)????? Am I navigating life without the essential tools in my emotional toolbox? What if adopting positive habits becomes the key to managing stress and building resilience?

3)????? Are my expectations a heavy anchor, holding back my joy? How can redefining success liberate me, allowing my journey of parenthood to be filled with fulfilment and peace?

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