Being a working Mum… “I can't do right for doing wrong”

After the lovely feedback I got from my previous article, I thought I would write another piece about being a working Mum and all the opinions you get both positive and negative.

When I had my first child I was fortunate enough to have a whole year off to fully focus on my new baby and my new found role as a Mother. However, if I’m totally honest I felt that I lost my identity during this time and longed for conversations that weren’t about “my babies first tooth” or “when I stopped breastfeeding?” etc. It was a huge transition for me as I was used to hustle and bustle of the City and now had playgroups in my local area to look forward to (which were lovely – but sometimes very tedious with the local Mum brigade who fought over whose baby did what first).

I remember people commenting on how I have had “such a long time off work” and “how will you ever get used to working again”, which was exactly what I didn’t need to hear as I was already dreading the worst and that I’d never be able to make a successful client/sales call again without mentioning something baby related .

But I went back to my old job and things were weirdly easier than before as I was able to take things in my stride with the motivation of working even harder/smarter for my Son. I would also make sure I switched off when it came to personal time as I was so excited to see my Son after a long day at work. Although what was noticeably different was my office chat, as now all I had to talk to my colleagues about what my Son and not what nightclub I was going to that weekend (sorry guys – you know who you are).

Now the process of returning to work after my second child has been completely different as I had 6 weeks off and was raring to get back. I also worked throughout my pregnancy (and part of my labour) and this was entirely my choice may I add ??. But the reason for this was because what I learnt from my previous maternity leave was that I needed to keep my identity and that meant returning to work as soon as I could, which is an entirely personal thing and I appreciate doesn’t work for everyone. But interestingly I found SO many people were negative about me doing so.

I actually had two medical professionals question why I was working with a new born baby expecting the reason to be money (which is partly) but I explained its more about my mindset/mental health. And both persisted to make negative remarks which if I weren’t comfortable in the decisions of how I lead my life, really could of affected me.

I also had one of my children’s teachers assume I was still on maternity leave 4 months on and when I said no proceeded to tell me that “this isn’t good is it”. I was unsure of how to respond so kept quiet but in hindsight really should of told her to mind her business.

Anyway the reason I’m even writing about this is, that people will always have an opinion on what you choose to do in life and weirdly when you become a Mother they’re even more forceful with their opinions. You can be accused of being lazy for not working or a hands-off/non-committed Mother if you do. But I’ve found the best way to be, is YOURSELF and don’t be affected by the words of those around you that don’t really know any deeper than the surface they think they can see.

Just be you and be happy whether you are a working mum or not ??