Being Underconfident

We come across several situations in the course of? life - home - study -work. Not all of them will be happy & that's given !

The one common element across is #Underconfidence . Most of the time we end up feeling insecure because of others, while they themselves aren't sure.

I still remember an instance from my graduation years, when a professor once asked our class, "who of you'll doesn't feel confident?". While there was pin drop silence, a student from the first bench stood up to say, "Ma'am, I don't feel safe to share my opinions here. I feel scared of being judged".

I can never forget how our class gave her a huge round of applause for that statement. The entire class actually could relate to what she said!

In my experience there are three major factors that contribute to #Underconfidence

1. The first 'D' of #Underconfidence is #Doubt. When you don't believe in yourself.

I have seen so many people with preconceived notions about themselves. "I am not good enough. She looks so much better. I don't talk as fluently as her".

I am sure, all of us can resonate.

#Self #Doubt results from lack of #Self #Validation.

Also need for #External #Validation & when it doesn't reach us right. That's because we see our actions from "OPP"- Other People Perspective.

We must remember that we can't make everyone happy all the time ! And it's completely okay.

Pro-tip : Everyone is not meant to know everything or be happy all the time.

2. The next 'D' of #Underconfidence is #Discourage.

We humans are our own biggest enemies. I know it doesn't sound proper but unfortunately it's the hard truth ! We are rarely kind to ourselves & tend to feel that we may never be able to do a thing we desire in future because we are unable to do it now.

Pro-tip: Each i'll need not have a pill. There isn't need to be discouraged !

You may not be apt at something today but can definitely learn with consistent efforts & some patience.

And now the 3rd 'D' of #Underconfidence which is a genuine disaster !!

I say this with confidence as someone who's been there & knows how it feels. It's called #Diminishing.

I find it funny today but a couple of years ago, we cousins decided to meet for a week -long trip. It was my first time travelling by air and I was super nervous. I kept telling people around, 'It's my first trip by air, oh first time'.

The anxiety was so high that I went and stood in the wrong queue. The floor attendant guided me to the correct cue. I told almost everyone about what was happening & kept repeating.

One of my cousins took me to the side and said,"Aditi, relax. Don't get so anxious. You've over told your story. Even the people who didn't know, now know that you stood in the wrong que.

Pro-tip: Don't #Diminish yourself. A first time will always be there and it can be weird.

People will see what you show. So make informed choices.

#GET #SET #GO!