Being Unboxable

We humans love our boxes. Perhaps because we need to see the world in absolutes in order to make sense of it and cope with it. We label, categorize, and file everything so that we can decide if we'll engage, how to engage or dismiss completely. This, of course, includes other humans. The problem is that humans are fundamentally “unboxable.”

We’re in a rush. We gather our information, regardless of how incomplete it may be, at top speed. We live in a swipe left or right era of snap judgments about everything, especially people. The quicker we can weigh and measure a concept, idea or a person, the quicker we can move on to the next thing that needs to be weighed and measured. And so on and so on, but what are we actually rushing to? The completion of a “to do” list? The next person at the meeting? Thursday night television?

In our rush to move quicker, to execute faster, to categorize and dismiss, we are missing big things. Things like color. Texture. Profundity. People are rarely, if ever, a “this or that” proposition. We’re too much. We are emotional and situational and irrational and ridiculously, breathtakingly amazing. We have good and bad days and total shit days. Sometimes we're shiny and sparkling and there are other times when the simplest thoughts fail us. How dare we attempt to put the all of any human’s existence in a box and label it.

Here’s my theory of people: humans are giant disco balls. Yes, you read that correctly. You are a disco ball. Disco balls are covered with hundreds of little mirrored pieces of glass that reflect the light, wherever the light lands. You can’t see the entirety of the ball at one time - you constantly have to shift perspective to see different facets. That’s humanity. We are never just one thing at any time. Disco balls aren’t static. To function and do it’s job, it’s constantly turning, changing, absorbing and reflecting. The same thing goes for humans. You must be willing to spend time, to shift perspective to get the full picture. Photos of disco balls don’t do it justice because they’re two dimensional. Humans, like disco balls, are multi-dimensional. We require light and time and space to unveil ourselves.

I was recently asked to speak at a conference about how to lead as an introvert. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that “introvert” is part of a larger filing system. It’s just a word used to box and categorize people. We don’t have to live in the box. We can live outside, above and below any box we choose. It only takes a little bit more time and a slight bit of effort to recognize how uncatagoracle, how unboxable, we each are.

LB Adams is the Founder of Practical Dramatics headquartered in Charleston, SC. Her company uses theatre strategies to help humans grow more profitable conversations with other humans.