Being tested

For some time now, it has felt as if I was in a movie version of the Book of Job. Quite interesting, a true pleasure to have my limits tested in so many ways.

Let's recap a little: last winter I spent in my car along with my terminal dog, Cooper Frost. Now, I am in Sweden, where I still work on music, on healing and I do a little preaching and social justicing on the side.

I am hounded by creditors. If you are a corporation, you can survive negative budgets. But, since my resistance to asking for money for healing is very strong, I can't increase my income. And, living on $550 a month, especially when you have a dog that does require twice the calories I do - and food of higher quality - is a challenge.

Given the world situation, opportunities for independent artists are scarce. And to get music out there, you either need a label that invests in you, or you need money to promote. You don't become a star without being a star.

So, basically, I am ... F...

These past few days have been particularly rough. Ranging from wannabe gurus making snide remarks on LinkedIn - sure, you can say whatever you want about me, but talking crap about my dog?

I have blocked him. Not something I often do, but bad energy should be avoided if you are a sensitive. Even on SoMe. And a hint ... if you come across someone here who has a love for X-es, shouts a lot and is very proud of his accomplishments ... run. Don't walk.

Yesterday, my Trollheads Nessi was in a collision with a car. She is SuperWoman on four legs, so she took the crash and the following flight without injury. A bit shook up, but not stirred.

She lies on the floor, looking at me with her mild, brown eyes.

"When will you take me out to run? You are so BORING!

To be honest, dear reader: I don't want to be here anymore. I know, as a healer, a priest, a coach and everything, I should be all carefree and happy-go-lucky. A shining example of the amazing quality of my art.

But I despise this world we have created. We often speak of "paying it forward". Yet, and this goes for me as well, when we pay forward our egotism, our greed, our callousness, our self.indulgence ... it has an impact.

I have worked with disadvantaged people for many years. And my gift to them has been to make them feel better. Yet, the more clearly I see myself - and others - the more dismayed I become. And this happens even though I am ecstatic when I meet good people ... which happens more often than not ... but who are winning?

But - let me get back to the header image. Some of you may have recognised the Bell Curve?

Having recently had one of my songs on SoundCloud taken down because I agreed with having an "influencer" use my music in collaborations - and him not crediting me as composer on Spotify, I am a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due.

And the test used on Mensa Norway is a prime example of doing the opposite.

I was the project leader for the first test. Coordinating the work was quite a chore.

Since then, my name has disappeared from the test. No credit to my friend, M (he is a rather private individual) who coded it all. Except for my contributions.

And though I enjoyed taking the test - some of the new questions are very creative - it was sad to see how such a society doesn't give credit to the original creators of a test which has been exported to Spain and other countries.

Oh well. Time to walk Nessi. Have a beautiful week!