Being a Stand-Up Leader

Happy New Year! We have 2 weeks to keep saying it. We're good!

Why is Standing Up Hard?

When we think of strong leaders we admire, often we think, "wow, that person is a stand-up human" because they step up and stand up for what they believe.

They're vocal. They have guts (and other parts I'll mention later!). Courage. Chutzpah.

When I led teams in tech - and I was in tech for almost 16 years - I found myself having to stand-up for things a lot. Like all the time. I mean woman tech exec; so yeah, I had a lot to say and deal with. And let me say after 16 years, I earned EVERY penny I didn't make!

Standing up for truth is what comedians do on comedy stages, too. That's a form of leadership. I performed at a club in San Francisco a few weeks back in December and a woman in the audience - Covid, be damned! - approached me immediately after I performed and asked, slightly buzzed, if she could give me a hug. She thanked me and then said, "I wish I had your balls to do what you do!"

What EXACTLY did she think that I do? Ha!

What she means of course is she wishes she had the courage to say the truth - boldly and unabashedly. Because we admire people who, from our vantage point, tell the truth: comics, business leaders, anyone. And comedy? Well, THAT is the truth on steroids. We need those truth-tellers because they are our social conscience in tough times.

Humor comes from telling the truth. And we need it in our companies, in our leaders and in our lives - yes, both more humor AND truth-telling. Humor isn't just being funny. Humor is an attitude, a process, a skill - it's about our own joy as much as it is for connecting with others.

Humor starts as a re-connection with ourselves

That's just it: we can be the truth-tellers in our own lives and we must. The woman in the club, you, me, our executives in our companies - all of us. Because the biggest untruths are the ones we tell ourselves. Yes, we need all our leaders to step up and stand-up for truth; it starts with us as individuals. As leaders in companies AND as leaders in our own lives.

Transformation takes truth

And that brings me to transformation. Every year we want change and that takes big TRUTH. This year, let's look at it all a bit differently: instead of 19-point plans, apps, accountability partners, blueprints, strategies, and guilting and beating ourselves up, what if we LAUGHED at our own truth first?

No, I am not saying those other things won't help. What I AM saying is: change starts with telling ourselves the truth and, I believe, choosing to lead change with humor and laughter. The last 2 years sucked hard, so cut yourself some slack if you didn't hit those goals. Who did? And, if you don't cut yourself slack, how are you going to cut others around you slack?

Change Your Mindset First: Own and Laugh at Your Big Truth Gap

So let's do this instead:

1. Look at where you are today honestly on a specific issue. Get clear and specific.
2. Look at where you want to be (maybe you want to lose weight, get a new job, meet new people, write a book, whatever) honestly. Be truthful to yourself - no one else needs to know right now until you are ready to share it.
3. See that GAP? Yup, there's some funny stuff in there. Watching Netflix every night might be fun; it's not helping you MEET new people: cut to ME scrolling Twitter INSTEAD of writing and working on my book proposal....2 hours later.....and 2 hours more! And then....3 pieces of cake later..... Damn right there's funny stuff there because we're all fully human. You can identify your own gap/s and if you're honest, you'll be laughing because you see and feel that human gap between what you say you want and where you are.
4. Owning that gap with humor fuels your capacity for optimism and trust in yourself.

Being the Stand-Up Leader of Your Life

Change is hard. It's scary. So what if this year, YOU stopped judging yourself for where you aren't, and laughed with self-compassion at the humanity in where you are? You are not alone. When we use humor to view that gap, we feel optimism and some level of control and, because of that, we're more likely to take action. And sharing some level of truth with others builds more trust - trust we all need.

We have a deficit of trust BECAUSE we have a deficit of truth. We can't wait for company leaders to make the changes - and yes, we need it. We can start with ourselves.

Now imagine how more empathy and humor towards yourself could translate into more empathy towards others and their truths? Would people be more willing to tell the truth if they felt more empathy towards them? And how could those around us be more inclined to share those truths if they trusted that we could hold space for them?

Imagine THAT level of truth, humor and empathy at scale. I do. And it's a hell of a lot better than Twitter scrolling.

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About Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA

An ex-tech marketing / communications exec who led teams for 16 years and an improviser and comedian for over 20, today I combine my comedy and business backgrounds to help people and companies be braver, bolder and way more human. Using improvisation and stand-up comedy techniques, I transform leaders into communicators who show up, speak up, and story tell playfully and powerfully. I am a keynote speaker and trainer, Founder of Keeping it Human and Author of "Stop Boring Me!" I still perform and teach stand-up comedy and improv.