Being of Service: 5 Benefits to Becoming a Mentor

In 2005, I graduated as an Art Teacher. Four years studying Fine Art Sculpture and one intensive year learning how to teach it, I was prepped and ready to enter the workforce. I applied to 33 secondary schools and received one, just one, "thanks, but no thanks" letter. The job market and availability of such positions was, to put it frankly, bleak.

Shifting course...

Undeterred and with a desire to keep a roof over my head, I set my sights on a position working in a FE (further education) establishment. It was here I fell in love with the possibility of supporting students beyond the classroom and my role oversaw the running of their part time, evening courses. From Marketing to Law, Interior Design to HR, for three years, I watched and greeted hundreds of students, dreary from a day of work and family responsibilities arrive in droves to undertake their studies.

I admired each and every one of them. I admired their tenacity, commitment to upskilling and the financial sacrifices they so very often made. I shared in their joy when they passed exams, celebrated out loud when they gained promotions and acted like a proud parent when they graduated. For the student orientated folks amongst us, it sounds like a dream role, right?

Toxic Workplaces...

Make no mistake, I loved that post. However, the environment was without question, toxic. Strategically, the focus was "bums on seats". Classrooms were overcrowded, at times students were required to share equipment and once, a wall was built overnight in order spilt a classroom in two and squeeze in another cohort. There was zero consideration for the student experience.

Personally, there were occurrences when my appearance was subject to regular public comment. I was scanned from head to toe and told by senior management, "You know you could look better, if you lost some weight". Times when I was informed "high heels, not flat shoes" were a requirement and another when I was informed I could look better if I "didn't wear all black". The passive remarks about my appearance and extroverted personality were a constant and at 23, I had little experience or knowledge of how to battle them. I left that post, in 2008, broken.

A new dawn...

Although sad to leave the students and lecturers I had become acquainted with, I was excited by the possibilities which lay before me in my new student accommodation post at the University of Limerick. That job offer, quite literally, saved me.

When leaving the toxic position, my overarching and departing memory was "I will never let anyone feel the way I felt in that role". Despite it being a difficult three years, it provided me with a deep understanding of poor leadership and the debilitating and long lasting affect it can have on young, nervous professionals trying to carve their place in the world.

Fast forward 14 years later, I continue to practice being of service to new professionals wherever and whenever I can. It manifests itself in private twitter messages, grabbing quick cups of coffee, assisting with job applications, saying yes to "Can I pick your brain?" or more recently, signing up for the 英国利兹大学 mentoring programme. Over those years I've gained more insight and knowledge from giving my time than any role I've undertaken and today, I share with you 5 benefits in the hope you might be that person to someone....someday.

You learn more by giving...

Practically speaking, assisting others helps you gain insight into their world, their role and their perspective. As we progress in our own careers, it can be easy to become absorbed in your own projects, responsibilities and that of your boss. Mentoring grounds you. It provides a reality check by reminding you of how far you've come. It helps you acknowledge what privileges have assisted you to succeed and widens your depth of knowledge as you become exposed to thoughts and opinions that perhaps challenge your own. This is no bad thing.

Mentoring encourages you to self reflect, challenge personal assumptions and to consistently evaluate your knowledge base and skillset. Taking the time to ask questions of a mentee will often cause you to dig a little deeper and reconsider your own learning path.

Insights gained...

Sadly, of all the individuals I've given time to, women by far have more severe and lower levels of confidence than their male counterparts. They have encountered too many incidents of misogyny and experience long and regular bouts of Imposter Syndrome. For many, this won't come as a surprise but it's telling that many young women are consistently sharing stories of not feeling good enough. Adam Grant recently shared the following words...

Imposter syndrome isn't a disease. It's a normal response to internalizing impossibly high standards. Doubting yourself doesn't mean you're going to fail. It usually means you're facing a new challenge and you're going to learn. Feeling uncertainty is a precursor to growth.

Working in the (often male dominated) world of student accommodation, I'm not immune to those self deprecating feelings and words. They still creep in. However I have done considerable work on understanding the 'why?' behind those moments and gained knowledge and experience of how to overcome them. When shared with mentees, it can assist them in gaining clarity on a train of thought causing tension or provide a clearer path towards resolving a tricky situation. I suspect many of you reading, will no doubt, have the same valuable insights to share.

A Cheerleading Advocate...

Gimme a "C!!"...Gimme an "H!!"....Gimme an "E!!"

To me, being of service to someone feels like being a positive, ray of happy sunshine. While you can and should also be the person who provides constructive and realistic feedback, essentially you are their personal cheerleader and biggest supporter. A person to confide in when needed but a critical friend if required. Cheerleaders coach, cheerleaders pump each other up and cheerleaders help others win and overcome their obstacles be they physical or emotional. While pom poms and a colourful uniform are not a necessity, offered the opportunity to wear them, I might just say yes.

Improving your skillset...

Being a mentor provides several opportunities for you to improve your own, and often softer, skillset. You are forced to become a better listener, develop greater levels of patience, become more generous with your time and overall, develop your emotional intelligence. Your ability to be 'present' during each mentoring session is an important asset so if you struggle with this, mentoring can improve it. In addition, mentoring someone younger provides you with a unique opportunity to gain a one to one, in person, generational snapshot. Be they millennial or gen Z, gaining an understanding of how they view the world will certainly contribute to improving your own leadership style.

Finally, a sense of pride...

Nothing beats the feeling of seeing someone succeed. Ever.

For six months, I coached someone through specific conversations they wanted to have with their manager. Simply put, they were keen to secure funding to attend a course of study which would benefit their current responsibilities and their long term career. When you're fresh out of university, harnessing the grit to do this can feel like attempting to climb Everest. Although nervous, they attempted that arduous mental climb.

The day I learned their funding was approved, I fist pumped the air. I was beaming. When I next met them, a load was lifted from their shoulders. They stood ten feet tall. Gaining the confidence to ask for what they wanted provided a much needed self esteem boost and as for me, well...I got to feel like a proud parent again.

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Do you mentor or have you being on the receiving end of great mentorship? I'd love to hear your stories and feedback in the comments below.

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Rebecca O'Hare is Assistant Director (Residence Life & Accommodation Office) at the University of Leeds. You can follow her on Twitter via @Rebecca_ResLife