Being Selfishly Generous

We sort of divide people into selfish and generous. And it implies a good vs bad type of judgement. We value generosity as a moral trait. Generous people, we seem to agree, are "superior" to individualistic persons because they think about others, too. Because they are givers, not takers.

The high price we put on #generosity might also come from its uplifting effect: a generous person operates from a mentality of abundance (as opposed to scarcity) and togetherness (rather than "me first").

But is generosity selfish or, at least, does it also imply some degree of self-care?

We tend to think generous people act out of #selflessness - concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with their own. Which we regard as noble, whether it is inborn or self taught.

I believe in the selfish generosity. Or the generous selfishness. And tend to see it as a conscientiously acquired mindset and skill. Let me explain.

Take a moment to look at worldwide #volunteering statistics:

• over 1 billion people volunteer worldwide
• the effect of their labour is equal to over 109 million full-time workers
• women are more likely than men to volunteer, both formally and informally
• in the #US and #Canada, 38% of people donate between $100 and $1,000 a year; 35% donate $1,000-5,000...and we could go on
• 70% of volunteer work on the planet is done informally - meaning work that happens outside of organised charities or businesses
• unemployed volunteers are more likely to find work than non-volunteers (27% more likely - some statistics suggest)

Now, we'll stop at that for a moment!

Nobody questions the generosity behind volunteering, donating and charitable work. But let's see the selfish side - or self-serving, self-caring, self-fulfilling!

That last bullet above suggests benefits. And the list of benefits is very substantial:

1. giving makes one feel good
2. generous deeds reinforce self-esteem and self worth and give one power and resilience
3. volunteering gives you access to a wider networking, meeting new people, socialising
4. generosity and volunteering are effective in fighting loneliness and isolation
5. involvement in volunteer projects along with others and within organisations develops new skills, expands knowledge
6. when we choose the social or political or religious cause we volunteer for we act to change the world and make it a better place (the world we live in!)
7. volunteering provides us with ample opportunities to express our values - a vital component of our happiness and peace of mind
8. charity work very often helps us reconcile within our conscience the unjust ratio between those who have and those who do not have
9. for many, constant/intense volunteer work gives value to our time (we are all mortals and often very aware that life is short) and perhaps also supplies some answer to the thorny ontological question "what will be my legacy"
10. I have seen many people living with scare resources who volunteer - maybe it helps them fight the financial and material limitations in their own lives
11. generosity - when not taking the form of volunteering - is about offering time, patience, listening, support, means, money or goods to others and this fuels back our abilities to offer all of those to ourselves, our capacity to get more for us

The list could go on and on and I invite you to think about your own "selfish" benefits from being generous.

My argument herewith is precisely this: generosity is a choice, a habit, a skill that develops over time (and, yes, it can be instilled early on) and strengthens with awareness of our own values, goals, ideals, plans and our own right to be happy.

To selfishly pursue a life of generous acts is very much in line with a 21st century in which we are all connected and at the same time more individualistic and alone.