Failure & Being Rescued By It

"I think one can just write one's biography in terms of being rescued by one's failures." William Kentbridge

Fabulous documentary about the working process of artist William Kentbridge (South Africa).

He talks about failure, uncertainty, unlearning advice, unfolding and cross fertilisation between mediums and genres.

He says about his work, "The films don't have a meaning which then gets drawn the films come out of a need to make an image an impulse to make a film and the meaning emerges over the month of the making of the film."

The surprise of the documentary for us, was to learn that Kentbridge alongside arts school also trained at Le Coq's school of mime in Paris so his pathway to where he is now was really incredibly open and inclusive. 

A career in the arts can be one of the steepest of learning curves on all levels.

There are so many ups and downs, obstacles, failures and disappointments yet they force one to learn new skills.

The key is to being to embrace the failure as natural and as a place to find new dreams, new ideas, new connections, new determination, better conditions, more love, more detail and more concrete reality.

In the failure there is frustration and overwhelm that needs to become determination - a mission. a passion forms. a need. a drive. a commitment. 

I have many times got stuck on projects very close to my heart. The disappointment and frustration took my breath away and led to a lot of self-doubt and self-questioning.

In that space everything was up for grabs and re-definition.

There was a guilt that arose out of the failure. It made me look with dis-satisfaction at my life and work space. "How could I be having high powered conversations if secretly I knew that in the next room my washing up was un-done and my desire to save the world one piece of paper at a time had led to a cluttered re-cycling corner?"

Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’t know what will happen and that in the spaciousness of uncertainty is room to act. When you recognise uncertainty, you recognise that you may be able to influence the outcomes – you alone or you in concert with a few dozen or several million others. Hope is an embrace of the unknown and the unknowable, an alternative to the certainty of both optimists and pessimists. Hope in the Dark, Rebecca Solnit

I had to learn to forgive my failures. I had to learn to see failure as a step along the path to finding my purpose and to being even more determined.

The key for me was to find doable baby steps one of which was to do a daily gratitude practice. Or making sure I took moments to stop - even if just to go to the bathroom and wash my faces if symbolically I could wash away the stagnation.

I had to realise my “it will be alright on the night attitude” works great when working small but does not stack up when other people are involved as the cost of uncertainty can be stress for others, so I needed to up my communications game. 

Thankfully with the help of many books, talks, teachers and coaches I have learnt to keep my ego out of failure so that it can be embraced as quickly and as painlessly as possible - more than anything so that "responsibility" can become "response ability."

When I am not frozen by the shock of failure I find something even better was awaiting me in the shape and form of new colleagues and fellow adventurers.

The gratitude that comes with these new companions on the road restores the balance and brings yet more richness, so this interview with William Kentbridge inspiringly said many things I had to learn the hard way.

? Deborah Claire Procter 2019

Deborah Claire Procter (MFA, FRSA, Creative Wales Award) Clear Insight Productions  |  Cynyrchiadau Gweledigaeth Glir - Multimedia Artist, Mentor, Producer

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? Sigmund Freud — "Everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me."

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About: Procter from Wales in the UK, has been a successful practicing Multimedia Artist for more than thirty years. She is a mentor working with businesses on their messaging, and as the Founder of Clear Insight Productions she produces cutting edge theatre, opera, film, music and dance events that present the opportunity to find wider perspectives and new ways of seeing. In a career that has taken her around the world, she has developed into a powerful mentor who helps a variety of clients create bridges in their businesses by using many tools from contemporary culture to act as catalysts for success. She weaves together her arts training with NLP and is always keen to cultivate diversity, sustainability, and a united future. She was a winner of the Creative Wales Award and recently was nominated as a fellow of the prestigious Royal Society of the Arts. She splits her time between Buenos Aires and Cardiff.

Her study of self-development is extensive as is her training in the arts, and includes leading thought leaders such as Stephen Gilligan, John Grinder, Robert Dilts, Tamara Andreas, Samantha Bennett, Molly Gordon, Mark Silvers, and Kevin Knebl. She continues to work as multi-media artist. Her latest mentoring project is "Make Monday Mine Mastermind" for professionals wanting to align their work and their creative intuition more profoundly; who want to make subtle but important changes in their lives; who want to work on their mega projects that have been left on the shelf; and who are looking for something VIP - Visibility, Intuition, and Presence.