Being the real me without apology – Maameyaa Boafo (TEDxAccra)

ese are the words of Maameyaa, and what I recalled as I listened to her speak. It brought up some of my past, like sores that were freshly opened.

This is a mind dump, and I feel a little bit guilty of sharing all that is in my mind with you, with no filters right now.

Yes, this was her dream!

To be the best was my dream, until being the best got harder

That was me at some point in life, and particularly, I remember my days in Further maths class.

I knew I had it in me, but I never saw it coming through and I had a hard time really grasping what was being talked of in class.

I really wanted to be the best in Further maths, but it didn’t work out as I had planned.

Feel free to say that I was a failure at some point in my life.

That was my dream that didn’t come to life.

I never got any of the parts I desired.

Thinking about this, seemed like an Irony in my life, because, looking back at everything right now, I realize that I got all things good by the grace of God,

No, it wasn’t as a reward for all my hard work, but his mercies upon me.

Yes, I believe in the existence of God, and I recognize all that he has done in my life. It hasn’t been easy I must say, but he sure knows what I need and has always found a way to open more doors for me, even as more keep closing.

One thing has always led to another, and all things have just been fine all this while. Not so smooth, but the bigger picture is beginning to add up.

Love yourself, Nurture yourself!

I felt like I had loved myself better after my secondary school stage when I really had low self-esteem of myself.

I don’t know how to place it, but when the need for me to be in the center of activities, I would surely deliver on all that is needed of me, but I never felt comfortable doing so.

I felt I wasn’t yet good enough.

Not good enough to be the leader of the church societies that I had led

Not good enough for the university leadership positions that came my way.

But when they all came, I loved up myself and had to take a step.

I was able to do better, and I’m happy right now with all that I learned.

Nurture your relationships.

Family is the best backbone that I have, and I have had to put more effort into nurturing that relationship. It hasn’t been easy.

Friends have been the next set of the best support that I’ve had, and when I think about the progress, I’ve made all this while, I can’t help but mention the roles my friends have played in getting me here.

Colleagues may not readily be your friends, but as you’ve encountered them, you would definitely have a certain kind of relationship with them, and you have the task to build on that, to ensure that these colleagues don’t turn into just competitions to you.

Be compassionate and know when to do things based on emotions. As an African, I believe that there is a great role that building relationships emotionally, would play in our progress in life.

And I gave more weight to what people thought about me. Don’t do that.

I would have learned to get better at dancing, but I was listening to what people had to say about how bad I was at dancing. I remember being flogged to dance, one time.

I dance some more right now, but my best moves are always seen by the most adorable mirrors in my room.

And I felt I was really doing bad at some tasks, simply because of what people had to say, but taking a step back, I realized that those who said these things have not even conceived such ideas, let alone trying to measure up to that.

Just like the tricycle drivers, who would always gather at the corner of the street to read newspapers and argue about what they would have done better as president Buhari, or how they would have played better than Messi and Ronaldo put together.

Just ask!

She said I’ve learned to be a little bit carefree in life. Just do it and damn the consequences. And I saw myself being talked about when it comes to asking.

I had missed some major points and clues by not asking in the past, and now I’m a little bit carefree with asking. What’s the worst that could happen I often ask.

If you don’t find me listening, you would find me asking, or sharing my own point of view where it mattered.

I’m now a little bit carefree when it comes to being heard because I believe that this helps communication eliminate assumptions.

The better you ask, the better and more defined/refined response you get, and the better the decisions you make.

Be that person, be completely unapologetic.

Live your life because it's your dream. Even if you don’t get things, as you want, still find a way to love yourself and nurture yourself, because this would be the only way you can nurture your relationships with others. Care about what people say or would say about you? Then just ask, and be a little bit carefree with their responses so you don’t ever get to put too much weight on what people have to say about you.

It's your life, and you need to be unapologetically yourself. That’s the best gift you can give yourself in Life.

It’s a tiring moment, but nevertheless, I’m here to send my greeting to you. What aspect of your life are you unapologetic about?