Being Present

Being in the present moment and experiencing life and the people around you to the fullest is not just a happy thing to do. It is vital to growing as a person, as a professional and contributing to the world around us. As we engage more deeply and meaningfully with people, we understand ourselves - and the people, teams and ultimately the world around us - better.

There are some techniques that can be used to enhance our ability to live in the present.

1. Manage worry. Worries - about what may happen, what needs to be done, what is still pending - is, viewed one way, a sign of living in the the future or the past, and avoiding the present. Our brains are hardwired to remind us of what can go wrong, as a survival mechanism. The key therefore is not to go against what comes naturally, but use a technique that informs you that you will not forget and you will deal with it. For me, this means making a to-do list and adding to it regularly (and of course deleting as and when). Effectively, I tell myself: I will deal with this at the time I have set for it. So I don't worry about it any more and I am, at this moment, doing exactly what I set out to.
2. Take a deep and genuine interest in people. How often is it that you sense that the person you are talking to has lost interest? Their eyes are wandering, their responses are monosyllabic, their body language fidgety? The truth is that if you can see it in others .. they can probably see it in you as well. No one is so good at disguising their feelings that even their non-verbal communication doesn't give them away. So focus, keep your attention on what's happening right now. Ask questions. Make respectful comments. Draw out inferences, and make linkages. It all goes to enhance your reputation as a person who is genuinely interested.
3. Share credit freely for success, and don't share the blame for failure. You've probably heard this a million times so far, so what's new? What's new is this: you need to remind yourself of this and practice this every day. Human nature - that's you and me, by the way - is such that we seek positive outcomes and avoid negative outcomes by instinct. This can sometimes take the form of being economical with the truth (using a politically correct phrase!). Watch out for it. It destroys trust faster than anything else does.
4. Develop your inner anchor. Don't place too much emphasis on what others think of you. Sure, you must be respectful of feedback and (well-meant) advice, but don't be too mindful of others' judgments of you. Have a strong and well-developed self-concept and look to align your behaviours to your values. And no, don't hesitate to choose your friends and confidantes accordingly. You will be respected for it.
5. And how do you develop this anchor? Through voicing your thoughts, respecting yours' and others' feelings, being consistent. In other words, being present! So being present is a way to develop being present? Let me explain it this way: you need to practice it, and remind yourself to stay on course when you see yourself wandering off somewhere! :-)

Growing through presence improves your personal and professional relationships. Do share your techniques and thoughts!

#leadership #presence #mindfulness