Being Present - And How It Works

In your daily life, do you find your mind wandering? Are you often so caught up in checking your phone that you’re not engaging with your partner? It can be difficult to be in the moment when you have a full schedule or other things on your mind. However, there are many benefits to being present. Practicing mindfulness can boost your memory, increase your focus, reduce stress, improve your emotional fitness and more.

And, most of all, learning how to be present will help you live with passion and purpose.

If you’re not experiencing each moment of your day, are you truly spending your time wisely? As Tony Robbins says, “If you’re in your head, you’re dead.” That is, if you’re not enjoying what’s happening around you, and are instead wrapped up in your to-do lists and worries, then you’re not really living at all.

It’s time to start practicing how to be more present and make positive changes in your life – right now.

FIND YOUR INSPIRATION

If you know you want to create a breakthrough in your life, what are you waiting for? The first step in being present is to identify what you want to work on. This is your inspiration as you work on being more mindful.

Do you have a limited amount of time to spend with loved ones, but find yourself checking emails during this time? Being present in your life isn’t just important for you – it’s important for your relationships. Your family will feel heard, and you’ll spark emotional connection with your partner when you turn off your phone and other distractions and focus on living in the moment.

Are you missing deadlines at work because you can’t focus during meetings? Being present at work means paying attention, participating, and taking notes. You’ll be prepared for questions, impress your boss, and get that raise or promotion you’ve been working for.

UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS

Being present allows you to focus all of your energy on the task at hand, because, as Tony says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” And when you focus on what you want, you’ll achieve it even faster.

What’s more, you’ll enjoy the activity you’re currently undertaking much more if you’re able to be present – even if it’s watching your children open gifts on Christmas day or lighting menorah candles with your partner. By being an active participant in your life, instead of a bystander, you’ll feel a greater sense of purpose in your actions and connectedness to those around you. When you think about it, you realize that finding more joy in your everyday life is a reason in and of itself to start practicing being present.

PRACTICE BEING PRESENT

There are a variety of ways to practice being present. Put aside self-sabotaging habits like checking your phone constantly or letting your mind wander. Those who truly know how to be present turn off their phone notifications completely. They may not even take many pictures, because they are living in the moment.

Feeling your mind wander? Take a moment to notice your surroundings and ask yourself why you’re having trouble staying focused. Take a deep breath, stretch, and notice the position of your body. Close your eyes and notice the sounds, smells, and objects around you. Put on music to help you focus. You can even write down a few things you are grateful for, to tether you to this specific moment in time.

Being present isn't a magic pill that will solve all your problems or “fix you”. But like regular exercise, it can be helpful in several ways. Some of these ways include:

Improved social skills.

This may be one of the first things you discover when you start experimenting with being present. It was for me. If you have the problem that you get nervous/shy and don't know what to say in a conversation, then presence is one solution.

When you are present your head is no longer filled with past scenarios (“what did she mean when she said that?”) or future scenarios (“what will they think if say this?”). You let go off self-consciousness.

You are just here. With your attention focused outward towards the person(s) you are interacting with. You just let things flow out of you.

And in a way tip of assuming rapport is a way to tap into your presence in conversations. Assuming rapport means that you pretend that you are meeting one of your best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind instead of the nervous one.

When you're with your best friends you are probably not thinking ahead that much. You are just enjoying the interaction, the present moment and all of you just let things flow naturally.

Presence can also help you with listening. It helps you to decrease the bad habit of thinking about the future and what you should say next while trying to listen.

If you are present and really there while listening then that will also come through in your body language, which gives the person talking a vibe and feeling that you are really listening to what s/he has to say.

Being present also improves your focus and allows you to better tune out possible interruptions or distractions in your surroundings.

Improved creativity.

If you write or do some other creative work, you may have found that your best work flows out of you when you are not thinking that much. You just write, paint, play. You enter a state where things just come to you. Then later you can come back and edit your work.

This one is similar to the first reason. Writing is for instance similar to a conversation.

When you are present in a conversation or while writing things it's often best to not think too far ahead or you start to get self-conscious and second-guessing yourself. You create mental blocks that stop your creativity from flowing unhindered.

You appreciate your world more.

One of big advantages of becoming more present in your everyday life is that you decrease the amount of analyzing and labeling you do to the things/people in your surroundings. You don't judge as much.

This might sound strange but, in the moments, when you are present the ordinary world becomes more interesting and wonderful.

Colors can seem brighter. Your see more aliveness in trees, nature and in people. You see the wonder of all your man-made gadgets and stuff. Things that most often seem common, routine, and boring become fascinating and something you can appreciate.

It's like you are observing your world with more clarity and curiousness. Like a little kid again, discovering things while they still feel fresh. Before they have just become walking, talking and growing labels with years of associations and thoughts attached.

Before you actually use this tip though – if you just think about it in your mind – it may not make that much sense.

Stress release.

When you are present there is a certain stillness and centeredness inside. You calm down. If you are feeling stressed during your normal day, then one of my favorite ways to let that go is to take belly breaths and just focus on them for a minute or two.

This pretty much always calms me down. The breathing with belly seems to calm one down in a physical way. And by focusing just on the in and out-breaths you connect to the present moment instead of the past or future scenarios that are making you feel stressed.

Less worrying and overthinking.

If you are a chronic overthinker that goes round and round in circles in your mind before you ever get anything done, then being present is a great release from that habit. I'm not saying that you won't slip back into overthinking.

But being present just for a while can help you. It can allow you to stop worrying about what may happen and just take some action to get started. To actually see what happens.

Openness.

This is perhaps the best benefit. Being present removes the labels you put on people and things – temporarily, and opens you up to see and experience things without your preconceived notions. I think this is a big part in how being present helps you in conversations and with your creativity.

You are open to new things as you are without many of your barriers within your mind. Things can flow easier through you without all that stuff in the way. You make things easy on yourself in a way. And you often get better results at the same time.

Playfulness.

As you are present you may feel a playfulness arise. This makes it easier to just do things. When you see things from a playful point of view things become less of a struggle created from within. You let go of that heavy, overthinking frame of mind.

Everything won't become super easy to do. But many things become more enjoyable and easier to do. They become lighter. Less of a burden.

The top 3 ways to slip into the present moment

There are quite a few ways to return to the present. You can try a bunch of them out and see which one(s) that works best for you. My three favorites include:

Focus on your breath.

Focus on what's right in front of you.

Pick up the vibe from present people.

If you know someone that is more present than most people, then you can pick his/her vibe of presence (just like you can pick up positivity or enthusiasm from people).

If you don’t know someone, may I suggest more positive acquaintances. ??

Less stress and becoming more present is the goal.

Good luck!