Being Present to Emotions

I was extremely angry yesterday, doesn’t matter about what. I was seething, fuming, frustrated and a crunched-up bunch of all the feelings that go with the “boiling rage” state.

I was all of that for a while before the “Observer” in me observed “I am angry”, And then what happened was quite extraordinary.

I began to Observe all of me, my body, my breath and more than that my stories; “chatter going on in my head”. Then dawned the realization that most of my fuming came from my “chatter” and not the incident itself that triggered the anger. Consciously I began to breathe slowly and deeply, relaxed all the muscles (including facial ones), yet the chatter went on. In hindsight it’s almost comical, a part of me trying to relax and smile and the other part going on with all the stories about how my being angry is justified. And then I remembered my practice of “being Present to my Emotions”.

Ever since I began this practice, I have witnessed the shift again and again. Stories are our way of moving away from the emotions. When I feel angry, instead of witnessing and embracing the emotion, I make up stories about why I am justified in being angry and all the things that are responsible for me being angry, denying my inner being its need to experience what it needs to in that moment. The real emotion is suppressed and in time finds another channel to show up in my life and so it continues. When I acknowledge the emotion, allowing it to surface, I experience it and along with it the learning that’s a part of it and am free of it forever.

Does this mean by being Present to my Emotions last night, I will never be angry again. Yes and No. I will experience anger at things that I have not yet made peace with, the emotions that I have suppressed all through my life. What changes is the intensity, the bitterness, frustration and above all the residual emotions which stays hidden inside till the next episode surfaces. I can let go of all of that and see what I was not seeing before….

Have a magical day!