Being Perfectly - Imperfect

Excellence is the quality of being outstanding or extremely good, whereas perfection is the quality of being free from all flaws or defects. Brene Brown in her excellent audio recording entitled?The Power of Vulnerability, identifies perfectionism as the "20-ton shield" by which some individuals constantly strive to be flawless to protect themselves from criticism. However, being flawless is rarely, if ever, possible.?

Consider Derek Jeter, the now-retired NY Yankees shortstop. He is a five-time World Series champion, a five-time Golden Glove Award recipient, and an all-star selection in fourteen of his twenty professional seasons. Derek Jeter is regarded as one of the most excellent shortstops in the history of baseball. And yet, he is not perfect. Over his twenty-year professional career, Jeter committed, on average, 13 errors each season.

The perfectionist (a.k.a, "stickler") always wants to get things right—no matter what. This attitude leads to polishing and perfecting something until it's just right—even at the cost of exhaustion and burnout. The stickler puts unnecessary pressure on yourself and others. Unfortunately, this behavior causes stress and burnout as individuals try hard to meet impossible expectations.?

Biological science now suggests that being flawed is the essence of being human. Modern genetics tells us that infinitesimally minor variations (or coding "errors") in DNA are at the heart of evolution, and these "mistakes" are responsible for the variety, complexity, and beauty of all living organisms. Most (if not all) contemporary evolutionary biologists tell us that without random errors in the genetic code, we would not exist as the human beings that we are. Hmmm.

So, how can we break free from the cycle of perfectionism baked in by the modern education industrial complex? The answer lies in aiming for excellence rather than perfectionism.

The distinction between excellence and perfection is that excellence focuses on continuous improvement. On the other hand, perfectionism focuses solely on avoiding failure, which leads down a path filled with stress and anxiety as you try desperately not to make any "mistakes." Instead of judging ourselves (and others) harshly when we don't reach some imaginary standard of "perfection," we can use compassion as we learn and grow from our (and others') errors or mistakes.

Ultimately, striving toward excellence instead of perfection leads down a much more productive path filled with greater satisfaction and success in all aspects of our lives.?

It is helpful to point out, acknowledge, and correct errors and strive to avoid the same mistake in the future. I know this firsthand from my Jiu-Jitsu training and competition. After many years of consistent and deliberate practice, when I spar or compete with more similarly seasoned athletes, it's the one of us who makes the first error that most often loses the fight. And, trust me, it's no fun when I'm the one who makes the first miskate and loses. However, I have learned to examine these errors and do my best to avoid making the same mistake again. In this way, I learn and grow.

Also, the stickler is quite intolerant of the mistakes or errors that others make. Some organizational cultures are imbued with an ethos of shaming and blaming others when they make mistakes. Unfortunately, those cultures are tough on people, and many choose to place small and avoid risks, or they leave rather than subject themselves to criticism for committing errors of commission.

In this context, it may be helpful to recall what Alexander Pope, the eighteenth-century English poet, wrote on this subject in his Essay on Criticism: "To err is human; to forgive divine."