Being Over-Prepared Is A Huge Mistake

13 hours (2 planes, 2 missed flights, 4.5 total hours of delays + an unforeseen 2-hour Lyft ride from LAX to San Diego)... that's how long it took me to get back from my 10-day summer vacation in New England.

The 10-day adventure was planned, the 13 hours not so much. But even during the "planned" portion of our family trip, things didn't always go as expected or as desired.

Their hope - and mistaken belief - is that all this preparation will allow them to show up flawlessly and avoid any painful mistakes or nasty surprises.

I could list all the ways things didn't go as planned, but suffice to say...

You can plan every detail of your vacation, career, and life, but you can NEVER guarantee things will go your way.

You know I'm right, and yet, it doesn't keep any of us from trying to plan every detail of our lives in a vain attempt to gain some kind of meaningful control.

I saw this with my patients when I was a psychotherapist, and I see it today with the executives I coach and advise.

They plan and over prepare for every aspect of their day. Their hope - and mistaken belief - is that all this preparation will allow them to show up flawlessly and avoid any painful mistakes or nasty surprises.

Better Than Total Control

People who try to control their worlds by overplanning, over preparing and micromanaing actually amplify their sense of helplessness and threat.

Better than achieving total control, what you need to be successful, happy, and thriving are: 1) a defined objective/destination, 2) clarity on what is absolutely essential to get there, 3) an understanding of your agency and power to impact success, and 4) a list of support people (sponsors, mentors, friends, experts, teammates) who can help you fill the gaps.

She was desperate, which meant she was more likely to show up as a beggar than an equal. That's never a good look, but it's especially damaging in leadership roles.

From Panicking to Popping Champagne

My client Claudia* started a new job. She's ecstatic and so excited about her future.

But I remember a conversation not so long ago where she was panicking.

Claudia* had been out of work for a while - it's hard for women to find senior leadership roles right now. Months of unemployment and interviews that weren't going anywhere had rapidly eroded her self-confidence.

She tried to compensate for it by showing up to every interview overprepared. She did the requisit research plus some. She'd explored all and any possible question she could be asked by an interviewer. She studied topics and concepts that had nothing to do with her role or her expertise, just so she could be knowledgeable. She focused on what she didn't know rather than owning and confidently positioning what she did.

Claudia* felt desperate. She wanted a job, any job, regardless of whether it was right for her or not. She felt she needed to impress her interviewers. She was desperate, which meant she was more likely to show up as a beggar than an equal. That's never a good look, but it's especially damaging in leadership roles.

The key to success, the proof of your value, and the secret to showing up with true power and authority isn't having all the answers.

Claudia* was trying to control every facet of the process,?and it wasn't working. Instead of making her feel more confident, it left her worried and anxious about failing.

We changed that, and it changed everything for her:

1. The objective: It wasn't to get hired at any cost. It was to find the right job, one where she could do work she excelled at and loved, with a team that respected her and would support her success, and, of course, to be properly compensated.
2. The essentials: To reach that goal, Claudia* needed to define what right for her looks like today, understand, own, and communicate her true value, rebuild her confidence, and level up her executive presence.
3. Agency: Once Claudia* finally understood that she didn't need to be flawless to be sought after, she stopped preparing for all things and started to focus on her zone of genius. She showed up to interviews ready to discuss what she knew and could do. She was able to confidently own what she didn't know while demonstrating that she was clear where and who she could go to to get the answers she needed.
4. The right support: Claudia* needed someone she could trust to set her up for success and walk her through her darkest days; that was my role. She also needed a caring and invested community to reach out to, other leaders who would come back to her with support, advice, and deep compassion. She got that through our Noteworthy community. She needed her husband's support, wisdom, and perspective to remind her that she was exceptional. Finally, she needed a network outside of Noteworthy to help her assess, navigate, and engage with potential employers.

Claudia* is one of many Noteworthy clients over the years who tend to make life more difficult and painful by buying into the fallacy of control.

The key to success, the proof of your value, and the secret to showing up with true power and authority isn't having all the answers. It's knowing where you want to go and what that path needs to look like to feel right for you and truly understanding where you have control and agency and where you don't.

I'm curious, how do you relate to Claudia's* story? Jump in the comments and let me know.

About Dr. Alessandra Wall & Noteworthy

Worldwide, smart, ambitious executive women work three times as hard for a fraction of the influence they deserve.

Excellence-driven, they show up fully for everyone - all the time - and discover that high-level success can come at too high a cost if you don't have the right systems or support.

I've made it my mission to help women in senior leadership show up with authority, own their value, leverage their influence, and make a meaningful impact without sacrificing everything on the altar of success.

I lead this work through Noteworthy, an exclusive executive coaching and consulting firm that advances senior executive women in STEM and finance and supports companies that seek to retain, elevate, and attract them.

This work has transformed the lives of hundreds of executive women in the US and Europe and changed workplaces for the better at scores of companies ranging in size from agile start-up to Fortune 100.

Interested? Let's talk!

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